5 Rules for Teens on Facebook
Posted by Danielle Bean in Family on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 9:00 AM
My oldest daughter turned 16 a little over a week ago. This rite of passage came with something I have been dreading almost as much as she has been looking forward to it: Permission to open a Facebook account.
Facebook is a powerful tool.
I have put off giving any of my kids permission to use it until now, but I do think it’s important for us to supervise and guide our kids through their use of of social media for at least a couple of years at home before they leave for college.
I have given Kateri plenty of lectures about cautious use of social media, and she certainly has learned lessons from a fair number of mistakes made on her friends’ pages. She is a responsible young lady, but still I felt the need to lay down some ground rules. I am sharing them here—not because your household should necessarily have the same ones, but because they might be helpful to other parents who are unsure about how to handle Facebook with their teens.
1. Mom and Dad have your login.
This is non-negotiable. My kids need to know that we have access to their accounts and can monitor their Facebook activities and communications at all times. I certainly don’t intend to stalk my daughter’s Facebook friends and read her personal messages, but it’s important that she keep in mind that everything she does on Facebook is potentially accessible by her parents.
2. Set the strictest privacy settings.
This is pretty straight-forward. Click on “account” then “privacy settings” then set absolutely everything (photos, updates, info, etc.) so that “only friends” can see it. You can test this by logging out of the account and doing a search for your child’s name. If you can access anything on your child’s page, you haven’t done it right.
3. Only friend people you actually know.
Even people who are not your Facebook friends can send you private messages on Facebook. I know from my own experience that creepy weirdos crawl around Facebook and send sophisticated friend requests such as “Like you look. We friends yes?” The only acceptable response: Block, Delete, Move on.
4. Remember that grown-ups are watching.
My sister recently told me that she regularly logs in to her teens’ accounts and checks out their friends’ pages. On more than one occasion, she has been unpleasantly surprised by the kinds of things she has read there. Kids need frequent reminders that even if their parents aren’t reading their Facebook pages, other kids’ parents are. Respect other people’s privacy (including your own family members!). Be nice. Keep it clean. Be polite.
5. Think about feelings.
Do plans about parties and sleep-overs and get-togethers really need to be public affairs? Might someone reading your page feel left out or sad about not being included in certain events? Avoid forming “cliques” or sharing “inside” information on Facebook in an attempt to look cool or popular. Once you put something in writing, it’s out there forever. Think carefully about how all of your friends will feel when they read what you share. And then err on the side of keeping things private.
What about you? What kinds of rules do you set for teens on Facebook?
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