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Email a FriendI’m right there with you, Lisa, and it’s not pretty in my household (or my emotional household) either.
Aging Gracefully
Seeking your advice...
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Health on Monday, September 19, 2011 3:10 PM
We’ve all seen the precious video making the rounds this week of the elderly couple who accidentally webcammed themselves…adorable! Their smiling faces reminded me of a blog post I’ve been wanting to write here for a while. In my head, I’ve entitled the post “Managing Menopause”, but I rethought the title here in an attempt not to scare off (or gross out) our male readers and to include anyone who’s been feeling their age lately—yes, even you 29 year old moms!
For the past few years, I’ve been struggling with a variety of physical symptoms related not only to my age, but also due to the “cocktail” of daily post-cancer prescriptions I take each morning. At 46, I found myself in the midst of menopause and now at 48, the symptoms seem to be worsening. My poor husband has to deal not only with my serious sleep issues and hot flashes, but also with an emotional roller coaster that is unlike the woman he’s been married to for over 25 years. I attribute some of this to one particular medicine I’m taking, but also to the many changes my body is going through these days.
While I have a few close friends who have gone through menopause, I’m actually older than most of my girlfriends locally just as I’m the “old lady” here at Faith & Family Live. But I know we have a few readers who likely have some tactics for managing the ups and downs of this time of life. I’d also love to hear from our younger readers, who also are finding that the demands of parenting, the lack of sleep, the limited time to exercise and just life in general have you feeling old and tired. What are some of your coping tactics? How do you inspire yourself to eat well and be active when you’re feeling less than stellar?
And that cute couple in the video? I’ll share them here just to give you a smile in case you haven’t already seen them!
Comments
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Posted by Lisa Hendey on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 4:25 PM (EDT):
Barb, I guess misery loves company. LOL. I’m just kidding—I’m not miserable, just looking to better manage the way I am feeling physically and emotionally these days. Praying for you!
Posted by Maria Johnson on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 5:39 PM (EDT):
Okay, Lisa, calling me out, huh? The way I see it is easy…every day older we get, is an opportunity to grow in grace and humility. And beauty.
Did ya like that? Nice answer, if I do say so myself.
And then, there’s the unexpected wrinkles, the gray hair, the hot flashes, the mood swings, the emotional roller coaster, and that frightening moment in the bathroom when you get out of the shower and realize that the lithe 20 year old you once were is still tucked in there somewhere (cuz you remember her) but she don’t look like that no more 
There’s a lot of change going on, and sometimes it overwhelms me and gets me down, but most days I find the humor in it. The gray is easy to fix. The wrinkles, well, could use a little moisturizer and a little rebranding into laugh lines and character.
And then there’s this betrayal of my body…aches and pains, gravity, illness. It also has a flipside, and perhaps one worthy of more discussion. I find that it has taken me almost 50 years to be at peace in my own skin. I am more confident (minus those hormonal glitches where the whole world sucks). I am happy with myself. I know who I am….My weak body reminds me now to take care of myself and I listen. And by the way, I’m a better lover, too. Let’s not forget that part of ourselves.
There’s more, for sure, but I don’t want to take anyone else’s thunder. There’s a whole element to our spirituality as women that is open and beautiful in this time in our lives.
I’ll pass the baton to the next lady…
Posted by Monica (momof2) on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 6:19 PM (EDT):
I am in my late 40’s and not too much sign of menopause yet so I am still using NFP. For health reasons I have had to avoid pregnancy and a pregnancy right now would probably literally kill me. I am kind of looking forward to menopause so I can stop charting already.
I often marvel that even though there are a lot of women around my age in my homeschooling network, no one ever talks about menopause. Not a word. They will talk about everything else under the sun, even things that were once taboo subjects, but not menopause. It’s sad because we could be a great support for each other. I wonder what accounts for this extreme aversion.
Posted by Donna L. on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 11:28 PM (EDT):
I’m right there with you, Monica!
I jokingly asked my Doctor if I could eat a bunch of estrogen cream in the hope that it would bring about “the change” faster—-but she just laughed at me! It will be quite the party at our house when I don’t have to wait during the “good/fertile” times of the month!
Now this is a topic I can relate to currently, instead of trying to remember what it was like to have little children. First, the younger you are when you begin, the older you are when you end (in general). I just spoke to a friend who is 54, still waiting for it all to end! That being said, I have very few symptoms, but I also take evening primrose and lots of b-complex. I’ve had 2 hot flashes in 3 years,sometimes I am a bit more emotional than usual, but I have some unresolved stress which contributes to that. I’ve heard some women say menopause can take 10 years to go through, which seems very long. I also think diet and exercise help with everything, not saying I do well at either, but I try. Good Luck to us all.
Posted by Margaret Mary Myers on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 9:39 PM (EDT):
I always enjoy your articles, and if it weren’t so late at night I might have something more helpful to share. But I just have to say that I laughed (good-naturedly) when I first skimmed and saw the word “Menopause” and saw at the same time the picture of the woman with her snowy white hair and cane (thinking, “She’s not in menopause, I’ll bet.”) But I see you are talking about “aging” at all ages and for various reasons. I remember that when we got married, my husband of 30 (and I, 24) used to say about any little ailments we had, “We aren’t getting any younger, you know.” I always laughed. I’m still not getting any younger—and at only 58, my hair is partially, prematurely white, I’ve lost a tooth, and don’t stand as straight as I’d like…yet I feel younger than I did when I was 24. My youngest son (18) thinks I’m old, but some of the others don’t. It seems the older my kids get the younger they think I am. LOL. It’s all about perspective, I think.
Posted by Mary D on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 9:48 PM (EDT):
Well, I have made it through to menopause. And I’m quite proud of it.
I turned 53 right before the official 1 year date of no cycles.
I’ve gained weight. But I can lose it again.
I work a job in the heat so wouldn’t have noticed a hot flash,lol. But I notice the tears
are not ever far away.
I have let my hair go silver.No more hair color,I’m 53 ,a grandma of 6 with 5 children still at home of my own.This time of life seems just as much a challenge as all the others.But I am more comfortable with who I am and more assured of Whose I am.
My goal is to ease the aches and pains by more walking and more time in Adoration.
I am more accepting of my weaknesses and try to offer up more of the ‘new’ adjustments as penance. Lisa, I did not know you were a cancer survivor. Praise God and congratulations. I’m sure that does add a twist to the adjusting.
Thanks for the article.Now that I am in a new stage,I’m searching for others like myself.
Posted by Ellen on Monday, Sep 19, 2011 9:49 PM (EDT):
Haven’t quite hit menopause yet at 47, but I’m sure I’m closing in. The emotional symptoms seem to be getting worse while the actual physical ones are shortening at least. Doc prescribed me 1/2 a zoloft each day and it is amazing. It makes me feel no different at all - I’m not sleepy, or “happy”, or dippy, or any of that. I just… don’t… have…these huge emotional spikes that were occurring before. It’s not what I was afraid of, some kind of Stepford Wife type thing - just back to closer to what I was before. In other words, emotionally I don’t even notice my period. Which is amazing - and so good for my family, but most particularly for me. Because I think it was me who was hating those feelings most of all…. Just a suggestion - but it is available generic, plus my doc gives me a 30 pill a month rx and has me split them, so the cost is very minimal. Will include all you ladies in my prayers… Peace.
Lisa ~ At I am in full swing of menopause. At first I tried the prescription my doctor gave me. After about 3 months I cut the dose in 1/2. I felt great. It didn’t curb my emotional level. I have always been sentimental and melancholy. Menopause has increased that. The medication did curb the cranky side of life that had really ampt up.
At a year in I was having some side affects I didn’t care for. I stopped cold turkey and moved to a natural cream. I lasted 3 months on that as my mammograms started to be suspicious. That simply scared me and I stopped the cream cold turkey too. I decided that I was going to have to trust in God on this one. So I have.
Things I dont’ like: I don’t want to sleep more. I like to sleep 5-6 hours a night, so needing more sleep and then waking to night sweats is hard to adjust to. I hate eating less and gaining weight. That’s just not right.
Things I love: Me. Really it took a long time to get here and God has been patient while I have worked through this obstacle. I look forward to the future,and I am excited. The hot flashes can be annoying, but they remind me of the good journey I have been on. The children I have been blessed to carry, as 2 of 3 weren’t suppose to be. I am honored to be a woman aging gracefully. More than anything I am grateful that my faith plays such a big role in balancing me out.
Right now I am going to attempt a full nights sleep with the windows widow open and the fan blowing on me. My hubby will curl up in the down comforter.
Posted by Daria on Tuesday, Sep 20, 2011 8:04 AM (EDT):
Hi Lisa. My worst symptoms were lots of nighttime hot flashes that woke me up and had me craving a cooler spot on the bedsheets! The worst part was having to tell my husband not to cuddle up to me after 2AM, but to give me lots of space so that his body heat wouldn’t make my high temps even worse. Then he’d do it again the next night, since who remembers such instructions when one is three quarters asleep? I started to think longingly of those separate beds that couples used in 1950s sit-coms! Now that’s thankfullly in the past, and although I still get the occasional hot flash, it’s nothing like it used to be. I don’t think I had much of a problem with emotions and mood swings, but maybe if you asked my family they’d tell a different story!
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