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Email a FriendPosted by Claire on Friday, May 13, 2011 10:56 AM (EDT):
I love my alone-time, but it also would have been nice if my husband had helped my three-year old to wake me up with a sweet little card.
An Introvert's Holiday
What I Did for Mother's Day
Posted by DariaSockey in Just me on Friday, May 13, 2011 10:30 AM
A few days before Mother’s Day, I told my family, “Please don’t buy me flowers or cards. Don’t take me to brunch. Just hold down the fort for the day after we get back from Mass. Put some frozen pizzas in the oven when you get hungry. I want to go for a drive all by myself.”
The kids protested at first. After all, Dad (who was away on business) had called to help them brainstorm some nice ways to treat me. But I insisted, and the kids agreed to scale back their plans and just do the childcare and get themselves fed as needed.
So I packed some books, my laptop, and my camera, and drove away. Feeling slightly guilty, I might add. Wouldn’t a good mother want to spend Mother’s Day with her family?
But the guilt fell away as I drove through the countryside, admiring the blossoming trees and the cumulus-studded sky. I drove down a few side roads just to see what was there. I pulled into a woodland park, photographed some wildflowers, then sat by a creek and read a chapter of Chesterton’s The Everlasting Man
Drove back down the mountain and into town. Checked out Goodwill and scored a pair of new Gloria Vanderbilt capris for $3. Went to another park, sat some more, alternating between Chesterton and a view of the Allegheny River as it rolled towards Pittsburgh. Prayed a rosary while driving back, and arrived home feeling peaceful, refreshed, and grateful.
The older I get, the more clearly I recognize this need to get away from everyone — even the people I love bes t— in order to recharge my mental and spiritual batteries. It’s not that I don’t love spending time with other people, especially my family. But suppose I had instead spent Mother’s Day going out to brunch at a crowded restaurant with the kids, and then hiked a trail together and finished up the day playing a board game ...
It would have been fun, but I would have ended up tired from it all. But a half day by myself restored my energy. Author Holly Pierlot recommends that all mothers take a regular “Mother’s Sabbath”
Have you been able to take a day off lately? What did you do? Did it give you the refreshment you needed?
Comments
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Posted by Kim F. on Friday, May 13, 2011 11:09 AM (EDT):
That sounds like a wonderful mother’s day. This year was the first in many that my parents were up in NH for mother’s day (my son’s First Communion was the day before). My parent’s came over for breakfast after Mass, so I didn’t really have a break in the morning. My favorite part of mother’s day this year was going out with just my husband, while the grandparents watched the little ones, and picking out a flowering tree (my husband’s mother’s day gift to me). I loved all the handmade cards, but it was nice to have some alone time with the man who ignited the desire in me to have children and who lifts me up to be the best mom I can be!
Posted by Tina D. on Friday, May 13, 2011 11:09 AM (EDT):
I wasn’t entirely by myself, as I had my 9-month-old daughter with me, but I did take a trip recently to Chicago to visit some family and left the three older ones back home with my husband. It was a much-needed break! I was able to see a few old friends as well. Even just changing up my routine gave me a new outlook on things when I got back. And, of course, it made me miss everyone oh so much! As more of an extrovert, I’ve found I need to be with other people to re-energize… friends, other family, etc. Not that I don’t love my kids, but even mom needs a break once in a while. Thanks for the post!
Posted by Sara on Friday, May 13, 2011 11:15 AM (EDT):
Great article, I felt a little bit guilty for going on a 20 mile bike ride with another mom friend and then out to lunch with her on Mother’s day. It was nice to get out and enjoy the ride without the worries of my little ones, as much as I love them. Last year we had my daughters baptism on Mother’s day which was a complete opposite experience and just as lovely in a different way.
I LOVE this article! I am such a big introvert and solitude is really, really necessary for my mental health. My Mother’s Day started out beautifully this year when I opted to get out of the house for an early morning walk…alone. By the time I came home, all of the kids (4 kids - ages 5 and under) were up, my husband had fed them breakfast and they were eager to give me hugs and kisses. 
Posted by Karen on Friday, May 13, 2011 7:46 PM (EDT):
I liked this post and the comments because it shows how different mom’s need different things for Mother’s Day and recharging in general. I used to ask for a couple of hours break on Mother’s Day when my kids were young and I would go and write in my journal - much of it was about them, but I still considered it a break. I gave that up about 10 years ago and I wish I had kept it up. This year on Mother’s Day my husband fixed me breakfast, but kids were not really involved. My husband used to make sure they all made me something for Mother’s Day. Now that they are older, I guess he assumes that they will do that on their own, but they didn’t and I guess my feelings were hurt. I have never wanted a big deal made about me on either my birthday or Mother’s day, which are often a few days apart. Now I realize that maybe it would have been better to expect a little more, because the kids should realize that they should show some sense of gratefulness, thankfullness to their mother on mother’s day. Our priest did write a lovely message in the bulletin about his mother on mother’s day, and how God chose just that woman to be your mother. On this memorial of Our Lady of Fatima, let us all look to Mary to guide us in our motherhood.
Posted by Carolyn A on Saturday, May 14, 2011 10:14 AM (EDT):
This is probably something I could use more of. I think in my 8 years of motherhood, I’ve only ever gotten away for things I had to do - go to a meeting, a funeral, an event of some kind. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten out of the house alone just for me.
Posted by Fla road tripper on Saturday, May 14, 2011 4:36 PM (EDT):
http://tinyurl.com/3ftaekb That’s where I the future mom went with the hubby.
Congrats…. you now are learning the meaning of a holy road trip. Wooohoo. Thank you Jesus!!!!
Thank you God.
Posted by natalie on Monday, May 16, 2011 9:11 AM (EDT):
I love your post. Being your d/h was out of town, it was probably very therapeutic! I am also an introvert, and struggle with asking for alone time from my 5 kids. My hangup is that d/h is an extrovert, so it recharges him to be together. Yesterday, I bailed out of going to the park, and it was so what I needed!
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