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Email a FriendPosted by Kristina on Saturday, Feb 11, 2012 2:13 PM (EDT):
I’m crying! Thanks for the Saturday laugh!
An Unfortunate Incident
and now for something completely different
Posted by Rebecca Teti in Just me on Saturday, February 11, 2012 10:29 AM
Thanks for your prayers for all of us testifying before the Maryland House of Delegates in defense of marriage yesterday.
It went fine, but it was an all-day ordeal, and I’m still too drained to write about it.
Politics ain’t beanbag, as they say.
How about something funny instead? Like my friend Angela’s poetic stylings about… an unfortunate incident.
An Unfortunate Incident
Angela Colarelli
Oh stomach flu, you wretched beast, you unrelenting foe!
How proud I was that Christmas came and went without your woe.
But you sat tight, and set your sights on a fate that was much, much worse,
For you knew too well, what all moms fear, when it comes to your nasty curse.
Oh yes, you waited ‘til this Sunday morn, when to Mass we did arrive,
And you stayed real quiet, within the depths, of my son who is only five.
And you waited still, while we took our seats, proudly in the very front row,
And you continued plotting your evil plan so as to ensure the greatest show.
Then suddenly, while the people sat, and the lector began to speak,
You churned your way, inside my boy, like a volcano about to peak,
And my sweet son turned to his father, who to him was sitting near,
His face was white, and you knew the plight, as he uttered what one dreads to hear!
My husband looked at me, repeated the words, and that’s all the time we had,
For right then and there, in the public square, you came forth like a beast gone mad.
In all sixteen years of my motherhood I have never seen such a spray,
With a force so grand, I could only stand, and wish I could melt away!
To the back I flew, with my son by my side, and my scarf held up to his face,
And let me just say, as they all cleared the way, his breakfast was every place!
On my husband’s coat, on my daughter’s dress and all up and down the aisle,
It was your masterpiece, oh stomach flu, and you knew it all the while!
So, what I’ve learned from this humbling plight is to never taunt you, flu.
No more bragging that you stayed away, for I know now what you’ll do.
And the next time we all walk into church, my head won’t hang quite so proud.
For I know what all will be whispering, as they dare not say it aloud.
As we take our seats, in the front of the church, and fill up the entire first pew,
They will turn to each other and recall with a smile, my sweet son’s ghastly spew.
And forever more, we shall be known, not for our dignity, style or class,
But as that family, with all those kids, whose son threw-up in Mass!
Comments
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Posted by zmom on Monday, Feb 13, 2012 3:32 PM (EDT):
Sympathize as I still remember and cringe at our own “public sick moments” from 17 years ago in the dairy aisle of the grocery store or another one (same child) all over the dining room table at the middle of an extended family Easter celebration! Ugh….at least you’ve kept your sense of humor and creativity about it…..I just wanted to hide for a decade or so!
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