Anticipation/Apprehension
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 9:20 PM
Since our new baby is due around the beginning of February, we have just approximately two months to go until he is born.
This gives us two months to convince Camilla that we are not going to name him “Sister,” which I’m not sure we’ll be able to do, since she is very insistent that that must be his name. Almost as insistent as we are that it is *absolutely not* going to be his name. I guess she’s going to have to learn that one the hard way.
As for us members of the household who have a better understanding than the toddler does of what’s coming down the pike in eight to twelve weeks, we’re… well, not exactly ready, but not unprepared. Ready-ish?
In one sense it’s easier to have a concrete positive anticipation of this birth, since we’ve been through one and know how amazing it is to see your child’s face for the first time. We have first-hand knowledge of what an enormous blessing we’re getting in another baby to hold and to love. We can’t wait.
On the other hand, we’re bracing ourselves a little more this time too. We had no idea what to expect last time and were a little bowled over by the sheer amount of time and effort needed to take care of a newborn. It didn’t help that Camilla was a high-needs infant, but regardless, bringing home a new baby means committing to giving up a lot of things - most notably, sleep - for a good amount of time. That part we are not really looking forward to.
But we also know, from the incredible experience that twenty-five months of raising Camilla has been, that the rewards far outweigh the sacrifices and that our little minds are not even capable of imagining the blessings this child is going to bring to our lives. So our anticipation is a much, much bigger than our apprehension is. We’re not upset that our little guy has two more months in the womb - he’s so easy to take care of when he’s in there! - but we’re excited that we get to meet him in a relatively short amount of time, because we love him so much already.
Assuming that God blesses us with more children in the future, I wonder how I’ll feel when I’m in the third trimester of future pregnancies. Will the balance of anticipation and apprehension depend on the circumstances of our lives at the time? On how many children we already have? On how much sleep I’ve managed to get in the preceding months?
(I’m not ashamed to admit that if Camilla hadn’t started sleeping through the night several months ago, I’d currently be feeling a LOT more overwhelmed at the thought of giving birth soon.)
I know I’ll always love and welcome the children God is generous enough to send us, but I wonder what those experiences in the future might be. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
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