Are Easy Babies "Better"?
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Tuesday, November 23, 2010 11:02 PM
Recently, an acquaintance of mine was telling me about her fourth child and the joy and grace his arrival had brought to her family. I was eating it up - I love this kind of stuff.
But then she started talking about what a “good baby” he was. He never cried, he slept easily and often, he was mellow and easygoing. He was so “good.”
I bristled, a little bit. I’m not sure this is a fair reaction, but I really dislike the term “good baby” as it’s commonly used.
Our first child, for whom we prayed and longed for years, was a difficult infant. She fussed and screamed and hardly slept. She tested us to our limits. But was she a “bad” baby? Hardly. We adored her, and although we might have wished for an easier newborn experience, we wouldn’t have changed our precious daughter. To us, she was the ultimate “good baby.”
Our second child was more easygoing than his sister, but he had gastroesophagul reflux, severe enough to seriously disrupt our sleep and try our sanity for the first six months of his life. Again, his babyhood was not easy, but again, he was a “good baby” to us.
Now that we’re expecting twins, several people have expressed the hope that we will have “good babies” this time around. When I hear that, I think, Well, of course we will. All babies are good.
(To be fair, many others have wished that we’ll have “easy babies” or “good sleepers” - both of which sentiments I can get behind.)
I try to remind myself that people don’t think about what the words “good baby” mean when they use them to refer to low-maintenance babies. The term seems so entrenched in popular usage that it has lost its literal meaning. But as a mom who sometimes felt sad and ashamed that my screaming firstborn didn’t fit others’ definition of a “good baby,” I wish that the definition and common usage would change.
I am curious, though - what do you think? Do you even notice when people use this term? Have you had a tough baby, and did you notice more after that? Am I being hypersensitive about this term? (It’s okay to say yes! Just remember I’m sensitive - also pregnant - so please be nice about it.)
Is it okay to refer to easy babies as “good” babies? Please share your thoughts!
Print Blog
Email a FriendPost a Comment
By submitting this form, you give Faith And Family Magazine permission to publish this comment. Comments will be published at our discretion, and may be edited for clarity and length. For best formatting, please limit your response to one paragraph and don't hit "enter" to force line breaks.
