I think he’s right. In the pick-up line at school it’s not unusual to hear moms talking wistfully about the best years of their kids’ lives. I never know what they are talking about. My life began when high school ended!

Thanks so much for highlighting this article.  It points to many ideas that have been floating around my head for a few years.  I DO think Platt is *right* in his definitions of ‘youth’ and ‘teenager’.  As well as the self-perpetuating behavior of thrid generation ‘teens’ as parents today.  Do I see hope?  YES!  Although we do have some work to do, my husband and I are working hard to parent YOUTHS and not teens.  In fact, I SO ENJOY PARENTING this age!  It is a MYTH that children in the “teen years” are a pain.  It is a chance to see the fruit of all your labor thus far.  Homeschooling is not the only ‘cure’ for this social disease—although it is certainly a good one.  Catholic schools are also a good choice to mirror your parenting decision to raise young adults and not teens.

Ditto to the above. Thanks for the link.

I have often thought in recent years that there are some serious flaws in the way we structure and think about adolescence in our culture.

I totally agree with Platt. My main question, though, comes from my own perplexity as to how to AVOID ‘teenagerism’. How do I raise youths, esp. as we will probably not be able to homeschool all the way through high school? How to give them true responsibility while at the same time keeping my authority and keeping them safe? I could really use help on this from experienced parents.

I don’t think teenagers are better or worse than any other stages and ages of children.  I find my children far more interesting now that they are older than they were as babies and toddlers.  In fact, I’d take my slightly obnoxious, silly 13 yr old any day over an overtired toddler having a public meltdown.

I understand what Platt is getting at.  I don’t think that it is so much in the name, but the difference in how we view young people today.  It is almost like we expect less from them than was expected of the youth of past generations.  Too often we underestimate our young people today.  We don’t challenge them, and if we do challenge them, it is like we just expect they’ll make the wrong decisions.

We need to give our young people more credit.

It seems that kids grew up, matured mentally, faster in past generations.  Most the movies that are popular among teenagers today portray 30-year old men acting like they are 12 years old (I must admit that I, myself, think these films are really funny, but I have to ponder how are we being influenced by these types of characters?)

I’m getting a little tired of the thought that everything years ago was so much better.  Tell that to my great grandfather who fought in the Somme at the ripe old age of 17.  His life and that of his peers was never the same after that. It is a fact that life expectency is far greater than it was even 50 years ago.  We live longer, childhood is expanded.  Our children aren’t working in factories or selling rags on the streets of NYC.  Give me my silly and surly teens any day of the week.  Atleast they are safe from the horrors of war and abuses in child labor.

After “love” I believe the key is “responsibility.”  There is a parenting idea that, with our, children, we can either:  Do TO them, Do FOR them, or Do WITH them.  Just ask yourself which is more effective.  I am a firm believer that above ALL we should NOT do FOR them…at a certain age (you determine) it is TIME to start washing a load of towels each week…make your bed…put away the clean dishes…sweep the porch.  Not to use them as servants, but to allow them to learn how to do things, as well as to learn what things must be done.  For this, they should not be PAID.  It’s part of being a family.  Everyone pitches in.  This was plain to me when, as a young mother, I broke a quart jar of mayonnaise in the kitchen floor.  I had NO IDEA how to begin cleaning it up!  I sat in the floor in front of the pile of greasy shards and cried, thinking “my grandma would know how to do this.”  I had to do it myself, thereby learning a valuable parenting concept.  You can also see some free videos and articles at http://www.loveandlogic.com  This is a peaceful way of parenting and raising children to be responsible.  Regular confession is great to help mold a child’s character.

Peace be with you!

“Teenagers” are among the many products of modern psychology. It’s been there all along, people just didn’t know how to describe the phase, or thought that their kids were extraordinarily bad.