It is wonderful to read your posts again and to know that, tired though you may be, you are home now with your family. Our youngest was very ill at birth and had a severe reflux as a result of medical complications. He ended up needing surgery to correct the problem and had a poor prognosis, but today he is a healthy 14 year old boy (Proof that God has the final say.) Feel free to e-mail me anytime if you would like some support, comfort, or advice. If it is any consolation…we lived through it. And although it may not be the sacrifice you chose this Lent, it does have its own unique redemptive power. God bless you.
Awake for Lent
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Faith on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 3:32 PM
I am giving up sleep for Lent.
It wouldn’t be my first choice for a fast, but my one-month-old has made the decision for me. Forty days of sleeplessness it is!
I’m kidding, of course. While it’s certainly true that the amount of sleep I’m getting has greatly decreased since before the baby was born, I haven’t yet had to give it up entirely. The Lenten disciplines I’m actually making this year have nothing to do with sleep.
Plus, I believe the things you give up for Lent are supposed to be willingly sacrificed, yes? Not wrested from your completely unwilling, completely exhausted self?
I like to think that if God called me to give up sleep for His sake, I’d be able to do it. I’m not so sure I would, though.
Maybe this is why God has timed our son’s reflux-y, fussy first months to coincide with Lent: to give me an extra opportunity to offer up dozens of tiny sacrifices to him, and hopefully to grow in holiness in the process. If you look at it that way, the timing is quite fortuitous.
This isn’t the first time that Lent has come at such an appropriate time for me, either. Three years ago it coincided exactly with the first trimester of my pregnancy. That pregnancy was particularly difficult and I tried very hard to offer up my day-to-day discomforts as penance. I didn’t always succeed, but ultimately I do think that it made Lent more fruitful for me that year.
It occurs to me that there’s a powerful metaphor here as well. A pregnancy and a new baby are both sources of very great joy. But because of sin, it’s sometimes necessary for us to go through suffering in order to reach the joy.
Christ’s death and resurrection is also a source of joy, the greatest in the universe, but in order to bring that joy to us he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. And in order to share in it we must take up our own crosses and join him on the way.
I already have with me the joy of my little son. Weathering the trials of his newborn days will simply help me to appreciate more fully the blessing that he is to our family.
As Christians we always have with us the joy of Easter, since Christ has already conquered death. Lent is simply a way to prepare our hearts to participate more fully in that joy.
This Lent, as I’m forced to give up sleep on numerous occasions, I’ll be trying to focus on that.
Comments
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There are sleepless nights at my house too. I have a 3 month old who wakes up to frequently nurse at night. I have a late nurser also, a 2 year old who is a light sleeper too. Last year right before I conceived this baby, I had a horrible loss that I was completely unprepared for at a routine ultrasound. Anyway, when my little baby wakes up for the third time before 2 am and I pick him up to nurse, instead of feeling cheated out of sleep and knowing I will be in a haze in the morning, I pray. Pray while I nurse and thank God for allowing me to take care of this baby. It is definitely a blessing to be awake WITH a baby then awake wondering why you don’t have a baby to be awake with.
18 years ago, I gave birth on the day after Ash Wednesday. He was tiny, and we had troubles nursing. I truly did give up lots for lent that year. I cried my way through night-time feedings, and prayed the best I could. He was baptised on Easter Sunday! I know just how you feel. I have found over the years that I often make my own plans for Lent, but then God says, “how about doing this instead?” I just have to say “yes”, and not get upset about my plans changing.
So glad to know you are both home. Prayers for you and your family this lent!
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