Baby Blaise looks mighty content rocking there w/his Aunty!  What a blessing your sister has been for your family.  God bless you all!!!

I’m so glad it worked out for you, Arwen.  I’ll admit I’m jealous since it didn’t work out that way for me.  I was the oldest daughter in a large family and did most of the cooking and cleaning (although not so much babysitting since we were close in age).  However, I am raising my kids completely alone since no family from either side lives nearby.  It’s exhausting physically but even more psychologically not to have support nearby especially since I live in an area where the neighbors and people I know have lived here forever and have plenty of extended family to help.  If you live in a more transient area at least everyone is in the same boat and helps each other.

So it’s great when family members help each other out but it doesn’t always work that way.

Isn’t it amazing how unique families are!  I was the youngest of four by four years.  Everyone else was working “real” jobs by the time I was ten so I did all of the cleaning, the laundry, some of the cooking and cutting the grass because there was no one else around to do it.
Since I like things tidy, I didn’t mind.  It prepared me well for my family of eight.
We try not to take advantage of the older kids, but I am sure they feel like they get stuck with the toddler.  We pay them if they might have had an opportunity to take a paying bbsit job that night, but not for runs to the store or quick kid-pick ups.

My story is opposite.  I am the oldest daughter of eight children.  My sister and I got married about the same time and had our children together.  My younger brothers and sisters were in college or post college living in the big city having a great time and traveling all over the world.  My mother and father (love them to death) did not want to spend all weekend babysitting our children.  So we just did it.  Ourselves.  We hired outside help and muddled through those early years.  Well, now younger sister has a family of her own and is outraged(!) that older sister and I aren’t over there every weekday babysitting her children while she goes grocery shopping, or to the mall or whatever. I’m not sure what she thinks happened when our children were babies, but she was certainly not volunteering her free time to help us out. 

The moral of the story?  Be nice to eachother.  You just may never know when you need someone’s help.

I’ve had the same experience!  One of my younger brothers was a real stinker as a kid.  I had to babysit a lot and he really tested me.  I’m sure I was awful to him, too.  Now, my kids can’t wait to see their big uncle.  When he comes over, I can leave for the store and they boot me out the door with big smiles!  Bye, Mom!  We’ll have fun!  (Just don’t break any bones, please!)

I am only a few years older than my youngest sister, so I never had to babysit my younger siblings.  I married and had children a number of years before anyone else.  My sisters were great helps with my little ones, especially when my husband was still in school.  Now my sisters are having children and my daughters are paying back my debt by helping with their cousins.  (Though my sisters usually insist on paying them.)  I was tremendously grateful to my sisters, and now they are appreciating the help my children can give.  Their cousins love to have the extra attention and it is nice for my children to feel helpful and loved.  (My children also help with my little ones.  We pay them when we are going out for pleasure; we don’t pay for doctor visits, grocery shopping, carpool trips.)

Arwen, I have had the same experience. My youngest sister is eight years younger than me; she was the perfect age (16) when my oldest son was born. She helped me out all the time. When my second boy came along 21 months later, we named her the godmother. It is a sweet and very helpful relationship.

I had a “full circle” moment of my own this past summer.  I am the oldest of three in my family, with a 12-year gap between my brother and myself.  This summer we were invited to an out-of-town wedding and my brother volunteered to babysit my three children, aged 3, 7 and 12, so I could go to the wedding with my sister and mom.  He was a pro—took them to a movie, swimming at the hotel pool and ordered pizza in.  It was wonderful to see what a fantastic time they had with him, and I could enjoy my day/evening knowing that they were in safe hands.  (I should add that my sister, who is four years younger, has been a fantastic help over the years with our three as well).

What a beautiful story Arwen.  Thanks for sharing, it makes me miss my little sis though!

Do I sense a little Divine retribution here?  Retribution can be positive as well as negative.  Your sister is freely giving to you out of her generous and loving disposition - but by your sacrifice when you were younger, you helped form that disposition.  Though she was a real handful to take care of, far and away your most troublesome sibling, you modeled charity and generosity toward her when she was little.  When she gave you frustration and aggravation, you (mostly) responded with patience and caring.  Thus you helped form that which now comes around to bless you in turn.

And you aren’t even seeing the best of it yet.  The best will be when your children are older, and have grown up with loving support from adults other than their parents woven into their lives.  When the inevitable parent/child tensions arise, or they feel misunderstood, they will know that this aunt or that uncle really understands them, and will go to them for comfort and help.  Then they will be mentored and guided by adults who care for them from the heart - advice and guidance you know you will be able to trust. 

Isn’t God’s plan for families wonderful?

I, too, have a wonderful younger sister who was instrumental during our first year of having a toddler and infant twins.  Having just graduated college, she came and lived with us like Mary assisted Elizabeth.  We joked about the slave labor—long hours, low pay, no social life (no peers around) but it was truly a sacrifice of love.  She washed innummerable dishes, let me take naps, and even potty-trained our toddler, but one of the things I enjoyed most was simply the companionship and opportunity to get to know her as adult.  We had never spent so much time together, even when we lived in the same house growing up, and it was wonderful to develop our friendship.  I look forward to helping her out someday.

Great post, Arwen.  Just this week I had an epiphany regarding my own situation growing up.  I was the second of five.  When my sister and I started HS my parents both worked evenings, leaving by 4pm.  Since my sister was very involved in school and job, she wasn’t around to help with the kids—-I took care of the dinner clean-up, homework, bedtime routine while my sister was out having fun.  I resented it to no end.  Just recently, I realized that I had not come to terms with it.  When discussing this with a friend, it hit me—-my sister who lives in the same town as my parents—will have full-time care of my parents when the time comes!  And here I was thinking she got off scott-free in responsibility and now I realize that God just had a different plan for her.

MM—I can RELATE to not living near any family.  My husband and I never have lived near family—his are 8 hours away, mine 23.  And yes, we have settled in a town where everyone is established and surrounded by immediate and extended family.  There are enough of us to keep things interesting, but I do miss being able to share the milestones of the kids life and daily joys and sorrows.  That is why we visit the nursing homes and take every chance we get to meet and greet the older folks at church.  It does our hearts good to have someone gush over the kids.

I am waiting to cash in on my full circle!  My sister is 9 years old than me and after baby-sitting countless hours for my brothers and me all her teen years, I baby-sat for her all my teen years for her 6 awesome kids.  Now I have one of my own, and her daughter is too busy to baby-sit for me.  She is involved in every extra-curricular activity at school and outside of school.  It made me think long and hard about the times I was very busy with my own life.  What did my sister do?!  I certainly was busy a lot, but when I wasn’t, I spent all my time at her house.  Now, looking back, my “free” time wasn’t actually as abundant as I remember   I am just grateful for the few times they are able to help me out and the sisterly advice!!

I think this is all interesting about sisters helping each other out.  My experience is a little different.  i have 5 children ages 29-5.  The oldest 2 and the youngest are girls.  I have 5 boys in the middle with 2 significant 6 year gaps on either side of boy #2.  That means I have 2 gaps of teens able to babysit.  However, my oldest daughters and I trade babysitting each other’s children.  My husband and I have been very blessed to go on 2 pilgrimages in the past 3 years - a 5 day one to Mexico and a 9 day one to Italy because of my daughters.  They know they will get much more babysitting over the years in return.  I am so grateful for them

As the oldest of seven I have experienced this circle. 

The baby sister who would scream the entire time I was babysitting her, later stayed with me and my then four children for the months between my husband starting a new job two time zones away and when we could move to join him.

I was JUST thinking about this the other day, but it looked more like a never-ending spiral than just a circle. My mom was among the older kids in a large family; she had to watch her little sisters. Those little sisters watched my sisters and I. When I was in high school, I babysat their kids, my younger cousins, and they’ll reach babysitting age right around when I expect to be having kids in a few years, and (this is predicting variables pretty far into the future, of course), my kids would reach babysitting age right around when my little cousins reach child-bearing age. And so on and so forth.