Big Kids Come
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Monday, January 10, 2011 8:47 PM
When my daughter was a newborn I could not imagine having more than one child.
I’d wanted a big family, but as soon as I discovered how much work it was to care for an infant, I realized I was going to be lucky if I survived the first time! The idea of doing it again (and again and again) was out of the question.
But the first few months of a new baby’s life are no time to be making decisions about future children, especially if that baby is high-needs! As Camilla got older and outgrew her newborn fussiness, Bryan and I found our bearings as parents and discovered that it gets easier, and the possibility of future children no longer seemed outrageous. One child still kept us plenty busy, but we thought we could probably manage another one.
God, in his generosity, blessed us with Blaise, and we were again thrown into the maelstrom of babyhood. For whatever reason, the newborn phase is not the best time for Bryan and me as parents; we function efficiently as a team, but we don’t particularly enjoy it.
We got through it, but with a baby and a toddler, the possibility of someday adding another child to the mix seemed out of the question once again. We were barely swimming with two! Three would surely drag us down.
At one point during that time, I had a conversation with Danielle Bean in which I asked her (somewhat desperately) how she managed it all. Four times as many children as we had, and other commitments into the bargain! It seemed super-human.
Danielle, bless her heart, laughed and consoled me. “Having only little ones is the hardest!” she told me. “It gets easier to manage once you have big kids!”
I could imagine how this might be true, as I’d found Blaise’s babyhood to be easier than Camilla’s in part because I had her to keep me company and fetch diapers. If even a two-year-old could be helpful, probably a five-year-old or a ten-year-old could be much more so.
So I’ve clung to consolation that having big kids might make my life easier, but it’s hard to imagine what that might look like, when I don’t have any actual big kids yet.
Except… recently I’ve been realizing that I do! Or I’m getting closer, anyway. In December I posted a picture of my kids on my personal blog (the same one that’s on this post) and several people commented on how big Camilla and Blaise are getting.
It’s natural for me to think of them as babies, but it’s not true any more. They’re growing up! They can play together for long periods (not always peacefully, but what big kids can even claim that?) and they can clean up after themselves (not without coaching, but that will come!) and they can feed themselves and sleep (mostly) through the night. Really, the only remnant of babyhood is the occasional diaper change.
Which is good, since we’ll have all the babies we can handle in the spring. God saw our “we guess we can handle another one now” and raised us!
With a four-year-old and a nearly-two-year-old, I’m starting to get a glimpse of the land of the Big Kids that other moms talk about. Based on how fun and hilarious our little guys are now, I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it. Having small people who are old enough to learn and share and help is a great thing.
And, actually, I think having “big kids” is going to help me enjoy my new babies more as well. Three-month-olds can’t brush their own teeth or go potty by themselves, and they need lots of holding and soothing, but I’ve never known one to pull all the books off the bookshelf, just because he could. Babies, tiny and sweet, have their upsides.
I’m glad kids grow up, but I’m glad they start out little, as well!
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