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Email a Friend“The Lord is kinda merciful” That is hillarious. Thanks for making me smile.
Cheese Panels & Other Heresies
Posted by Rebecca Teti in Just me on Friday, October 07, 2011 11:12 AM
Simcha Fisher has another let’s-laugh-at-ourselves classic up.
Her specific problems are a little different than mine.
Where she frets about her youngest kids’ formation, I periodically have to admit to my eldest, “Yes, I’m sorry, you were the guinea pig, and the younger kids have different rules based on what you’ve taught us.”
But we both have kids who mess up the lyrics to hymns, not always deliberately.
She once caught the little Fishers singing “Make me a panel of your cheese.”
I once giggled my way through Mass when I realized my little boy was belting his heart out to a Psalm not found in any Bible:
“The Lord is kinda merciful.”
Surely you must have contributions to a Not-Deliberately-Heretical Childhood Hymnal? Share!
Comments
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Well, this isn’t a hymn but when I was learning my Act of Contrition as a child I could not properly say “heartily”. Instead I would say, “Oh my God, I am HARDLY sorry…”
Posted by Beth on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 1:23 PM (EDT):
I played worship music in the car. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it was playing. My toddler was singing, “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us make a choice and be glad in it” I thought it was very meaningful.
Hysterical! If the Lord was only “kinda” merciful, it’d be a lot easier for me to be Christ-like - but I think we’d all miss out in the long run. 
Like the “panel of your cheese,” both of mine are food-related. When I was a child, I thought the 1st verse from “We Have Been Told” ended “and all who live in me will bear grapefruit.” And I thought “What Child Is This” included the phrase “haste, haste to bring him lard.” Both of those errors were pointed out to me by older siblings AFTER I had belted them out at Mass.
Posted by jeni on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 5:31 PM (EDT):
lol grapefruit. brilliant. I will be thinking of that next time…
Posted by Salome Ellen on Monday, Oct 10, 2011 9:10 AM (EDT):
An (adult) member of our parish choir calls that the “grapefruit song.” We have to be careful not to sing it at a time that should be solemn, because the whole choir always wears silly grins throughout.
Posted by StephC on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 2:17 PM (EDT):
My 2 year old son used to “transubstatiate” his tortilla chips at lunch, complete with the sanctus bells: “Bbbbbrrrrriiinnnng! Bbbbbrrrriiing!”
My 3 year old daughter is the one who asked me to “make an altar” at home, “so I can be Faddah (Father)” (...erm, sure, sweetie, but I’ll have to break it to you gently when you’re older….) 
She’s also the one who requests that we sing, “Heigh-Ho Treen-tronie” at bedtime. (translation: “Hail, Holy Queen Enthroned Above.”
Posted by RealMom4Life on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 4:08 PM (EDT):
OK - this certainly isn’t church music but I cannot resist. We saw the Chipmunks Squeekwal (won’t be seeing it again :0 ). My 9 year old son started singing one of the songs. “We are fa-mi-ly. I got all the sisters I need”. He truely thought these were the words…and although he already has 3 sisters…
Posted by jeni on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 5:32 PM (EDT):
ditto to not seeing that one again. Avoid Yogi bear too!!! Goodness kids movies are way sketchy these days.
Posted by Cin on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 5:40 PM (EDT):
Quote—My 2 year old son used to “transubstatiate” his tortilla chips at lunch, complete with the sanctus bells: “Bbbbbrrrrriiinnnng! Bbbbbrrrriiing!”
Ok, this has me hysterically laughing! Shall I pray for vocations in your family?
As for hymns and wrong lyrics, one of our kids discovered you can sing “City of God” with the words of “On Top of Spaghetti.” And did it in Mass once. “On top of spaghettiiiii, all covered in chee-eee-eeese.” You try chastising a child for irreverence when you are laughing so hard tears are pouring down your face!
Posted by Julie on Saturday, Oct 8, 2011 10:22 AM (EDT):
My girls thought it was “Kitty of God”, and sand that loudly. Also, while walking up for communion, my 2 year old son yelled out “I want a snack too!”. And my mom told me a story about me as a 2 year old, while she walked up for communion carrying me, I yelled out “Look at all the Mary’s” when I saw a bunch of nuns singing in the choir loft! I also though the large halo over the crucifix at our church was a big nilla wafer and you could open it and see a nativity scene inside…well, that would be cool, wouldn’t it?
All of your comments are hilarious…thanks for making me laugh! I needed some laughing tears!!!
Posted by Melissa G on Friday, Oct 7, 2011 6:13 PM (EDT):
When my little sister was 3 years old she sang “Mommy’s Dinner” instead of the verse “My Redeemer” in a song called ” Alleluia.”
When we were discussing what the Mass was like before Vatican II. My little sister asked, “Why was the Mass different before Daddy could chew?”
Posted by jen on Sunday, Oct 9, 2011 1:26 PM (EDT):
Our daughter, then age two, would say “I like rice” after the priest would say “Body of Christ” at communion. It took us a minute to figure out what she was saying, but we couldn’t stop laughing (and crying) once we did!!
These stories are great! I love kids!
Not a hymn exactly, but back in the day we used to play a cd of the complete Handel’s Messiah on Sunday morning while we fixed brunch. One of the choruses begins “O We, Like Sheep (have gone astray)” And our five year old would sing along “O we like cheese” , which made perfect sense to him, since he really did (and still does at age 21) like cheese.
Posted by Jenny on Monday, Oct 10, 2011 2:50 PM (EDT):
My 3-year old son was trying to explain to his dad what we were going to have for dinner. He couldn’t think of the word, and finally came upon the perfect explanation his dad would understand. “You know dad, we sing it at church. Lasagna in the highest!”
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