Please do not glorify me as a working mother because I’d rather be home.  I work because my husband can not. Christ has a plan.  I use my work to spread Christ in a psychiatric setting.  My coworkers jeer me in front of others about my faith but privately ask me questions such as how can they make their marriage last, will I pray for them,whats so wrong with abortion, how do I stay awake in a Catholic mass, am I becoming a nun because I’m going on retreat,etc.
My prayer life is easier because I have to have a routine. My life is not as flexible.  My life depends much more on Christ. I don’t have the luxury of being home so I have much more to offer up!
I’ve come across stay at home Catholic mothers who were very judgemental about what I can’t do because I’m working. These are the people who I most wanted support from.
God is so good!  He gives us working mothers hugs( but can squeeze a bit hard.

What do you love about your work? In what way is it fulfilling? I love my job because this is the first time that I have had a job which does value family and doesn’t make me feel horrible if I need time off because my son is sick. I had my second son five months ago and my work was very supportive.

What is most challenging for you about work outside the home: time management, challenges to your principles, behaving charitably with high-maintenance personalities? Something else? I have to say that since I had my second child things have become more hectic, and I have to be more organized than ever. On a more positive note I have decided to slow down and weekends have become family time. I don’t want to do anything else that does not fit into having time with my family.

What thoughtless remarks about your lifestyle could you live without? The one that upsets me the most is “I don’t care about my children because I am not a stay at home mom.”, or people who make me feel that I am a horrible mom for leaving my children.  I love my family and if I could to be quite honest I would stay home and take care of my boys but this is not possible. My boys are my number one priority and because I work outside the home I make sure that I show my love to my children every single day.

What do you love about your work? In what way is it fulfilling?
Since I work at a Catholic school there are not too many challenges regarding my principles.  Behaving charitably towards others is an attribute we teach in school, so that is not too much of a problem.  Time management is a big concern for me, because I would like to have to be more organized , and have a neater, cleaner house.  This has been a terribly stressful year in particular because of some family situations that occurred and I wish I could have stayed home to take care of them more thoroughly.
I have 5 children, only 2 who are at home right now, and I am always hearing remarks about how it is soooooo expensive having children, especially when they go off to college, get married etc.  I know it is expensive. You don’t have to remind me. 
This is off topic a little but I have one pet peeve about certain working parents. Not all. Just a very few.  If your child is sick please keep them home from school.  WE don’t want their germs and we don’t want to have to call you to pick them up like we usually do, and then have them wait over an hour for someone to pick them up. I did that twice today, and my heart was breaking.

I work full time in the software industry, and my husband stays home during the day (he’s a musician, works mostly weekends).  We have 2 special needs children (ages 5 and 3) and a 20 month old baby. 
My job allows us to have access to great insurance benefits and to afford expensive therapies that our children need.
I enjoy very much what I do, and I know my children are being loved and challenged by their therapist while I work, and my baby is being cared for by Daddy.
Everyone at work is very nice, of course with very different backgrounds and beliefs, I’ve always been outspoken pro-life and most of my co-workers know my kids personally (they are a living statement of the value of any life).
They jokingly call me a ‘nun’ because I go to daily mass on my lunch break, but then they privately ask me about going to confession or recommending a marriage retreat.
What hurts me the most is actually outside of work, when I hear stay at home Mom’s comment how I must not care enough for my children to stay at home (not in those exact words, but that is how it feels).
Huge blessings that allow me to stay on track: My husband!, My church, This forum, and My women’s group which has created a meeting time in the evening so that I can attend our weekly meetings.

I work full-time in communications, but used to work even more hours as a reporter. I have 4 kids and my husband is in the Navy.

Quite frankly, the hardest part for me is the judgement from other Catholics. Working motherhood, even if you could survive without the pay cheque, is NOT a sin! There is nothing wrong or perverse about enjoying my profession while having a large family.

I find everyone loves to hold up St. Gianna as an example of perfect motherhood, while ignoring the fact she was a working mother with 4 children. I love St. Gianna, she is my mentor and true friend. She proves you can love your profession, do it as a service to God but also because it is your passion, and not be a bad mother. In fact, you can be a saintly mother.

I absolutely love my job. I work in academic research (theology) and I am currently researching/writing primarily about vocation - broadly understood, how we are all called by God in different ways - and how parishes/congregations can help people to explore how God is calling in their lives. The work is fulfilling not just because it allows me to use the gifts that God has given me, but because it addresses an important need in the church and the world today. I truly feel called to work outside of mothering, and despite the challenges this brings, I find that God’s grace sustains me through the difficult times. To me, this is an affirmation of vocation (both to mothering and to my other work).
Time management is the most challenging part of working outside the home (although I can do lots of my work from my home “office”). I am constantly feeling stretched between the demands of child-rearing, pregnancy, house work, homemaking, as well as all the demands of my job. But I find that my friends who are stay-at-home moms feel just as stretched, busy, and over-worked. I have had to get much more organized than my type-B personality would like in order to keep things running at home during my absences, but in some ways I know this is God helping me to grow. Finding excellent, reliable child care is sometimes a challenge as well: occasionally we have had great situations change suddenly because of situations beyond our control with the caregivers, and it is very hard to be left in the lurch for child care. It’s especially hard when you don’t need full-time care (I work 25 hours/week) because you often have to pay a lot more - often the equivalent of full-time care - for part-time slots in day care or to have a nanny in your home. But both my husband and I see this as an important investment for our family, so we cut back in other areas to make the budget work. He is very supportive of my work because he sees that it is a true vocation for me, and he sees how it honestly makes me a better at-home mother when I can balance this time with work away. I know this isn’t the case for all moms, but it really is for me.
I could do without the following thoughtless comments about my lifestyle: “Oh, I could never leave my child/ren with a babysitter. I’m REALLY picky about who I leave my kids with.” Which, unintentionally but obviously, implies that I would let anyone who can fog a mirror watch my kids? Not so much. I’ve also gotten a fair share of comments about how kids deserve to have a full-time parent around 24/7 during the young years. I think that my children will benefit from seeing how my husband and I negotiate working out both of our careers, caring for our family above all and sacrificing for each other.

I’m a public school teacher, and have been for over a decade.  It’s a remarkably fulfilling and exhausting job.  Spirituality comes into my work in many ways: I can’t talk about faith in the classroom, obviously, but I try to teach my students not just academic subjects, but also life skills like honesty, understanding others’ perspectives, listening, compassion, etc.

Toughest part of my job: being in a profession where you give all the time, in ways that are big and little—and then go home and give more to my own children.  Sometimes I feel like my own kids are getting the “leftovers” of me, so to speak.  Thank goodness for summer!

Thoughtless comments: don’t get me started.  (Don’t we all know that teachers are done work at three??!??  Yes, I’m being sarcastic!  )  Ah, if they could see the stacks of grading that I haul home! 

Also, this is a particularly tough time to be a teacher because of the political rhetoric and the legislation that is being introduced in many states (Wisconsin, for one).  The way some politicians talk, it makes it sounds as if teachers and teachers’ unions are just there to enable incompetent people to drain the system.  I cannot tell you how frustrating that is when you work SO hard in a job that doesn’t pay well to begin with, and then have to put up with people who say things that make you sound like some social parasite who is just leeching off the system.  Overall, I think it would be nice to have people live the life of a teacher for a day, just to see what it is really like.  Wouldn’t that be a great reality TV show?!?!

Wow- what inspiring women responding here!!! 

What do I love about my work/how is it fulfilling-
I discerned my career as an uncatechized teenager.  I truly believe God led me into teaching and eventually into the school I teach because the women there taught me how to be a mother.  I have a wonderful mother who provided everything she could while she battled depression.  The women I’ve encountered in my 16 years of working helped me be a happy, functional, whole mother.  Knowing it is the place the Holy Spirit has led me, makes it fulfilling.  God took something broken (me) and put it in a place of healing. 

What are the challenges?

I’ve had to learn the hard way not to run around like a chicken with my head chopped off.  I just don’t anymore.  What gets done, gets done, what doesn’t, doesn’t.  I find myself becoming increasingly dependent on God to fulfill me, not the fact that everything is clean, neat, orderly, prepared, folded, etc. 

My biggest challenge is myself.  It’s taken me a long time to accept that this is my vocation, not God’s back up plan for me.  After discovering this blog and others like it, I loved reading about happy, fulfilled stay at home moms (I didn’t know many:(  ).  After a while, I started feeling like my decision to work (when I found out I was pregnant, my husband said, “Do you want to stay home or should I?”- my whole body screamed, “YOU”) was a mistake. I am marginal in Catholic culture.  It’s painful to be marginal.  But, Christ ministered mostly to the marginal.  And, by being marginal, I can do the same because I work directly with others who are marginalized.  I view myself as a missionary in American culture.  God has called me to this vocation and it’s not any less important than the beautiful, large, homeschooling families.  I just have to swallow my pride, be willing to be a little different and follow the Lord’s plan for my life. 

Thanks for asking Rebecca.  Everyone will be in my prayers!

What do you love about your work? In what way is it fulfilling?
I find work outside the home fulfilling because it’s something I know I do well.  There’s so much room for doubt as a mother/homemaker and always a feeling that there’s just so much more to do.  At work, I know I do my job well and my supervisors and coworkers appreciate me for it.  (I know I’m very forutnate to be appreciated at my job!)

What is most challenging for you about work outside the home: time management, challenges to your principles, behaving charitably with high-maintenance personalities? Something else? 
Working part time (30 hours in 3 days) is a challenge for me because I feel like I am always struggling to succeed in both my roles as a mom and an employee.  Work days are long and hard and home days are long and hard.  There’s no room for rest!
When kids are sick or if there’s a snow day, it’s always a hard conversation with my husband about who will stay home. 
Also, working in a large hospital in Boston, I feel that I need to keep my personal beliefs to myself.  I am expected to embrace healthcare reform and embryonic stem cell research without question.  It’s a constant struggle for me to want to speak up but be afraid.  It’s something I’m truly ashamed of.  I work some very brilliant people who think they are very altrustic and open-minded, but they are really ignorant and shut off to so much good.   

What thoughtless remarks about your lifestyle could you live without?
I am not “out” as a devout Catholic at work.  My coworkers know that I am Catholic and my kids go to Catholic school, but probably think I don’t go along with all of that crazy Catholic stuff. 
Some coworkers questioned whether I planned to get pregnant again and some thought it was helpful to remind me how tired I was last time I came back from leave—thanks for the support!

I find it interesting and so sad that many working moms feel shunned by other stay at home moms.  In my community, so many more moms are working than are not so I don’t see that as an issue.  I think we’re all doing the best that we can and need to support each other!!!  I am greatful for this site and the supportive online community since many of us don’t have this support in our real life worlds.

Thanks for asking, Rebecca! Great responses so far.

“What do you love about your work? In what way is it fulfilling?”

I work at a large university and love the learning environment and great people I work with. I’m part-time, and love that I can have a flexible schedule that works around the kids. I really like the work itself too, and am fortunate that I am working in the field I went to graduate school for. I also love that both the director and assistant director of my immediate work group are Catholic and go to my parish!

“What is most challenging for you about work outside the home: time management, challenges to your principles, behaving charitably with high-maintenance personalities? Something else?”

Time management is definitely a biggie. Working part-time, while often wonderful, can sometimes feel like the worst of both worlds. Like I’m not doing a good job in either place. I often feel spread pretty thin. As far as challenges to principles, etc.—working at a university is great because it’s welcoming of all kinds of people and beliefs. I haven’t had any trouble there. And you can encounter difficult personalities are everywhere, not just at work!

“What thoughtless remarks about your lifestyle could you live without?”

As others have mentioned, unfortunately it’s the remarks from other Catholics that are the most hurtful. We can afford for me to stay home, but working part-time is the best fit for me right now. Our 3 kids are thriving in school/child care and I don’t feel guilty about making choices that are right for me and my family.  It’s discouraging when other Catholics look at my choices and determine that I’m selfish, or that my kids are suffering because I’m not home with them 24/7. It would be great if all Catholic mothers could support one another in the choices we make to be the best moms we can be!

*What do you love about your work? In what way is it fulfilling?
I’m a transactional lawyer and I really like delving into the details of deals and helping clients get to closing.  At my last job (big firm) things got really difficult for awhile in terms of the work environment, but everything fell into place for a new job I started last fall and it’s worked out much better.  Real estate transactions and lending aren’t big “helping people” kinds of jobs, but there have been a few pro bono commercial leases I’ve done for pro-life groups, and in general it’s fulfilling to be professionally respected and to use my education to work through tough legal issues and find solutions.

*What is most challenging for you about work outside the home: time management, challenges to your principles, behaving charitably with high-maintenance personalities? Something else?
It used to be dealing with tough personalities (last job was truly draining emotionally, and I was prepared to walk away).  But overall it’s time management - I try to put a lot of time into being a good mother and a good employee, and other things (like laundry, lawn, general cleaning with the exception of the kitchen, staying on top of emails, etc.) all kind of fall by the wayside.  The legal profession is extremely liberal and not particularly friendly to conservatives in general, much less religious/social conservatives, but I belong to Catholic and legal conservative professional groups that I love being a part of.  I have had many opportunities along the way since law school to speak up about “controversial” issues even though I am not a confrontational type of person, but I usually figure, if not me, then who?  (Not being prideful - there are quite a few of my colleagues who never encountered serious Catholics before!)  My new firm has several serious Catholics and so is quite hospitable.

*I’d like to hear what the moms who work outside the home wish people understood about their lifestyle.
I always thought I’d stay home, but it makes more sense for now for me to be working.  We try to live below our means - I make much more than my husband but we’ve used the money to buy our reasonable house, pay off student loans, and take advantage of some things.  I’m doing this now because I like working, I love the woman who has been with us for years taking care of my kids, and I want to save money while we can, but as more kids come along things I know things will change.  It’s just important for moms to be charitable about other people’s decisions, which I think most people are.

First of all - thank you to Rebecca for this blog. This is the first that I have seen dedicated to working Catholic Mums. I live in Australia and go to Mass in a very conservative (Latin) community where most drive mini-vans and homeschool. I have a 2 year old son and 5 month old daughter. I worked in a full-time job until my son was born and resigned from my stressful and non family-friendly job. I intended to stay home full-time as a Mum until my children were in school or perhaps homeschool. Motherhood has been a challenge for me and I have found that I really missed the order of my working day, and the intellectual stimulation. Despite this, I was determined to stay home and follow the example of my ‘sisters’. Life hasn’t worked out like that however. Following considerable financial strain, the urgings of my husband and the discovery that I was pregnant (requiring money we just didn’t have), I knew that I had to return to work. God brought a part-time position to my door, working for a lovely Catholic family, who were extremely flexible, valued my work, and paid me very well. After some difficulty finding suitable care for my son, (including taking him to work for several weeks and it becoming increasingly difficult for me to do both at the same time), God found a place at a wonderful day care centre. Lo and behold - my son was thriving, I was happy with the balance, and our financial situation had eased considerably. Me working part-time was actually really good for my family.

The best part about me working was the journey it took me as a mother. I learnt to embrace the very important parts of me the way God made me. I have skills and talents as a professional, that took me the best part of the last 10 years to develop (I am 30). After reading some of the comments above, I sat up much straighter in my chair and feel that it really must be okay to be proud of that part of me that enjoys my work. If I am happy, my children are happy, my husband is happy. The most challenging part of my work outside the home was dealing with my own insecurities and philosophies about whether I was doing the right thing. This arguement is still present inside my head and heart at times, but prayer and asking God to lead the way will deal with this. Support of other mothers makes a huge difference. Along with many of the other women on this blog, comments other from well-meaning Catholic men and women have been judgemental and show poor understanding. No, I don’t want luxuries, I want to house, feed and clothe my family. I don’t really want to answer “doesn’t your husband earn enough money” and all the other silly comments. I have often felt very much in the minority and at times rather ashamed about working part-time, and as to the day-care question and subsequent judgements… Enough! I haven’t yet returned to work and am not sure when that will happen. I am hoping to wait until my second is at least 1. In the meantime, I am really appreciating my time at home, but I don’t think it will be the end of the world when I return, provided we walk with God and let Him show us what He wants me to do each day. Thank you for the opportunity to explore this topic on this blog and all the best to you from Australia.