Thanks for this gentle reminder, Danielle! I do tend to get more stressed from Thanksgiving through New Year (w/ our oldest’s birthday near Thanksgiving) & this year has been even tougher.  All four of our munchkins have been sick.  DH is usually on the receiving end of my meltdowns.  Thankfully, I’ve been blessed w/ a very understanding, patient man.

This year we are focusing more on the importance of Christmas & less on the extras.  I’m not baking as much, I didn’t overdue decorations, & other than Christmas related activities, we take the month of Dec. off of school. 

For a long time, I’ve used your suggestion about seeing the big picture.  When something comes up, I ask myself if it really is a problem or just an inconvenience, then see if it will matter in the long run.  Usually it’s just an inconvenience.

Just had to say that this Christmas hasn’t been stressful due to preparations…all we want for Christmas is our power back!!!!  We live in southern NH & haven’t had power since last Thursday before bed…7 days now & it’s wearing on us all…food in coolers, grill cooking only…please keep us all in your prayers as we pray for power before Christmas (but it’s not guaranteed!)...

Danielle~ “We each come into a marriage with different ideas of the “right” way to do Christmas”~that’s so true~it took hubby a little while to realize that my way was the ‘right’ way.hehehehe You’re right the advent and christmas season can really add stress to our marriages~as wives, it’s so vital that we keep our homes as safe havens for our husbands and children from all outside negativity and undue stress.

Mary~I’m sorry your family is without power, know that I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Danielle, Thanks for this very timely reminder….I am actually not as stressed as I usually am this time of year….because I am *forcing* myself to wait until December 26th to send out cards and Christmas greetings.  Whew!  The book ‘Unplug the Christmas Machine’ helped with my point of view tremendously.

Mary, I will pray for you to have power soon!  We did that last year before Christmas for 8 days, and added to it, no fresh running water, either!—-I was never so thankful to have water and power after that long wait! 
I am certainly no pioneer woman!

Happy Advent to all!

Thanks for the prayers, Ladies!

Donna, We have a well & so haven’t had fresh water or the ability to flush…but, thankfully, my husband had a *small* generator in the shed that he got many years ago & we were able to hook that up & turn on one thing at a time (if we need to flush, we can’t have any lights on, etc.).  Of course, on Saturday, even the well pump died so he & my oldest son (and our neighbor who was borrowing out generator every couple of hours for his family) spent 16 man hours out there taking out the old pump & installing a brand new one that my husband had to go out & find & purchase (thank God for my parents who paid for it!)...anyway, I completely understand what you went through…believe me!

Donna~This will be the first year I’m sending out my cards on Christmas Eve~I want everyone to get them during the real Christmas Season

Happy Advent to you!

I knew this Christmas would be challenging especially since we’re remodeling our home, I’m 7 months pregnant with our third child and my hubby wrapped up a final on the 15th.  Not to mention, we hosted our family Thanksgiving meal (and our kitchen wasn’t finished).  How do mommies do it?  I’ve tried new things such as taking a deep breath, putting on my favorite music, dressing up even when the food wasn’t ready yet and laughing with my husband.  That worked for a little bit.
But the stress of this month has been almost too much.  I haven’t been smiling.  I find my hubby annoying..etc. Any holiday has always been a melt-down trigger for me.  And yes ladies I do take it out on my hubby. I’m better today than I was 10 years ago.
I want to thank you for your reminder how precious my marriage is.  We’ve been through a challenging year in our relationship.  In the back of my mind, I keep hearing….don’t do this, don’t say that.  I feel like my body & my mind are working overtime just to keep sane.  What is the big picture in all of this?....it’s how I handle the stress.  For a while now I’ve been praying for peace & joy to come in my heart and into our home.  We’ve always been a family on the go.  We realize that a “full plate” brings chaos into our home.  At the moment, we’re keeping our heads above water.  We’re learning to pick less events to participate…but we still have a ways to go.  Still…I’m hopeful.  My 4-1/2 and 2 year old are aware of Jesus’ birthday and look forward to celebrating.  We acknowledge Santa and I’m learning more about St. Nicolas. 
This morning, I asked my husband to take me out on a date.  He agreed.  We deserve some “quiet time” together.  So thank you ladies for helping me blow off some steam .  I am grateful…..I’m committed to remember the miracle of Christmas & to turn it over to Christ the infant.  ...and now I’m must go & bathe our little ones.

Mary - I just have to ask if you’re anywhere near Hollis? That’s where we live and maybe we could help out. You can email me at kafournier at charter.net. We were very fortunate and received power back on Monday night. Also, here’s a link to a PSNH chart that will let you know when your town is expected to get power back. http://64.140.220.121//pdfs/PSNHETRs 12.17.08_REV_10.30am.pdf

That being said, this power outage has really made me aware of how much I have to be thankful for this Christmas. I think it’s been the least stressful for me in awhile because I just had to let things go.

During this season of holidaze, I try to remember that I (and every women I know) is living in the future - for Christmas morning - while my husband is living in the present.  When I act like it’s a major emergency that we don’t have stocking stuffers TODAY it’s because I’m “living” Christmas Eve and Christmas morning today, right now - so it IS an emergency.  I try to offset this by doing less over a longer period of time.  I also work to accomplish the most important things first - religious traditions and almsgiving first, then shopping, last wrapping.

I first realized this different perception of time when we were engaged.  I was on bride time and he was on guy time.  Bride time is warp speed.

Well, my Christmas cards got mailed today.  That is a first!  We did a photo card this year and I didn’t have to spend hours writing those personal greetings.  My shopping isn’t complete yet, but it is almost finished.  My house isn’t decorated, but we are having a trim the tree party on Monday night with all the kids and their significant other’s. (No married ones yet!)  Only two out of the five have so’s LOL.  My youngest is complaining the lights aren’t up yet, but I’m sure they will be up before Christmas.  (He is 15 and capable of doing it himself.)  The weather is scheduled to be snowy for the next three days, so I will have plenty of time to do my gift baking, and wrap and decorate some.  I am actually giving in a bit to my husband’s way of thinking this year.  He doesn’t like anything up till Christmas Eve. That is pushing it though.  The way he used to do it was this:  Kids go to bed Christmas eve with nothing Christmas up.  Santa decorates the tree, and the house.  No thanks, not for me!  THe kids need to be a part of it.  What I have given into is not decorating until the week of Christmas.  I feel tired, but not totally exhausted.  I am trying to roll with the punches LOL.  A Blessed, argument free Christmas to all!

I had my minor meltdown the other night and I don’t think there were any fatalities.  Yesterday for therapy I stopped and purchased the hugest, most decadent Latte on my way to get pictures developed.  I know a $4 coffee wasn’t in my budget but it sure helped my overall mood and attitude.  I know I have more to do than can humanly be done by Weds so, one thing at a time-priorities.  That means shopping and gifts and cleaning and decorating the tree and THEN maybe chocolates and cookies.  arrrgggggghhhhh!!

I also think that so men should realize that the Christmas preparations do not get done by the Santa elves or the angels but by their wives, mothers and girlfriends and do their share of it. I am fed up with writing my husband’s rellos’ Christmas cards and getting the gifts for his family. My husband is not very practical and tends to abrogate his responsibilities on this issue. If I did not do it, his side of the family would not get anything and lately I am very tired of doing his family. I come form seven and have enough of my own to do especially writing Christmas cards. Next year I have said you can do it or else it will not be done.