Yes, typically a gift of money is appropriate. I think we gave ours around $50, but I’m sure everyone is different.

I feel horrible.  I didn’t know it was the custom to give the priest a gift for a baptism.  I did give the priest a nice amount of money when we got married, but my son’s baptism was during the Easter Mass, and it didn’t even occur to me to give the priest a gift (since it was a mass he would be at anyway.  The baptism was three years ago.  Would it be tacky if I sent him something now (he’s no longer at our parish, but I know how to get in touch with him;  actually we’re Facebook friends)?

I think that it is customary to give a monetary donation to the church (not the individual priest or deacon) for Baptism.  I think some parishes/priests are upfront about it almost as a fee rather than a donation, though I would expect that if a family was struggling financially, the priest would be understanding.  I don’t recall the exact amount that we’ve given, but it probably ranged from $50-$100.

We have also given more personal gifts to godparents—a book or special ornament (our daughter was Baptized right before Christmas).  There certainly is a lot to plan for and keep track of while also caring for a newborn, but the most important thing to focus on is the special gift of Baptism for your little one!

I think it is thoughtful but not necessary.  I would be more inclined to do it if the priest did a private ceremony after Mass.  I can’t even remember if we gave any money.

At a relative’s baptism all the couples there had to walk up and put their offering envelope in a basket.  It was very tacky and cold and the cermony was more of an assemply line than a sacred sacrament.  Given that there was 10 babies at once I don’t think the priest or deacon should have gotten any additional money.

I would not worry about it Claire.  I honestly do not remember learning anywhere that you are suppose to give the priest a gift for sacraments.  I know we did it for our wedding but if you do it for a baptism why not First Communion?  Anyone have any idea?

Thanks Beth, that makes me feel better.  I certainly give plenty of money to the parish itself, anyway.

That baptism you described does sound very tacky.  I know that some parishes do baptisms once/month so that several babies are being baptized at once, but it seems very odd to me to have all the parents come up and put in their offering.  I’m glad my son’s baptism wasn’t like that.

I don’t have any comments other than to say you will be in my prayers.  God bless you!

Hi!
I think it’s a great idea to hire help if it’s possible!  I have had both cleaning service and private individuals clean for our family ( a great present from my mother in law!) Both charge by the hour, with the cleaning service $25+ an hour, and private person from $12-20 an hour.  I would say that I’ve had better experience with private individuals, as they seemed very motivated and more flexible with times etc.  They receive all the pay, and have to recruit their own work, as opposed to the ladies who work for a service who only getting paid $10 out of the $25.  They all were a huge help, and nice ladies, but I always did feel bad about the fact that the company ladies didn’t receive all the pay.
I actually have a friend helping me for two hours few times a week now, as I’m 39 weeks pregnant (with 3 small children!).  She only charges $12 an hour, and I feel very comfortable with her.  I would say it’s REALLY important to write out what you want to be done, and HOW you want it to be done.  You need to do this the first time you meet this person, so that she knows exactly what you expect.  It is surprising how much time it takes to throughly clean areas of your home that you might think would only take 20 minutes.  Some people bring their own rags and chemicals, but most need you to have rags and your cleaning agents of choice out.  Same with mops, vacuums, and brooms.  I usually do the mundane things like dishes so that she doesn’t have to waste the time on it.  I need her to do the deeper cleaning that I cannot do and don’t want to have to ask my hubby to do after he comes home from work. 
I asked my priest if there was anyone in the parish who could use the work, and received a great recommendation. I had her come for my last pregnancy and it was great!  My friend who helps now lives right down the street so it’s really easy for her to come for a few hours twice a week, which really helps me not feel overwhelmed. I hired her because she really needed the money, and is a hardworking person as well as a friend.  I do have to try not to chat to much, take the kids shopping, or play outside with the kids while she is here.  My kids always have wanted to play with the ladies who clean for us, so if you’re trying to homeschool, you may want to talk with your little ones before hand about doing a different project and giving her space to clean. 
BTW, most ladies usually like to work for at least 4 hours at a time, which is roughly the time it takes to (basic) clean a 1300 SF home like mine.  After things are clean, I usually have one or two things that are extra, like organizing a kitchen drawer in case she feels she has the time.
I hope you find this helpful, and with you all the best in finding a great helper!
God bless you and your family!
MNS

We have had 2 different individuals clean for us over the years and both came with very high recommendations from friends.  I like the idea of cleaning on a Friday because we tend to have more company on weekends and want to house to look presentable for others.  We only have our house cleaned once/month—just to be sure it gets a full cleaning periodically and we clean as needed and as time allows in between.  We pay for/provide all supplies except for the vacuum (both cleaners have preferred to bring their own).  We pay $100 for our 3 bedroom, not too large home outside of Boston, but if we had it cleaned more frequently the price would be lower.  I definitely agree that it’s best to get out of the cleaner’s way.  We usually plan for ours to come when my husband and I are at work and the kids are in school.  We’re only comfortable with this because we know the person cleans for so many of our friends and has for years.  It’s also important to lay out expectations before the first time.  Good luck!

When I first started with a cleaning lady, I had her come every other week.  By the time I had 6 children who were home all the time, I did it every week.  Prices vary, but I paid $65/week for a 2500 sq ft home.  I like having an individual vs. a company, too.  The company may not send the same person every week (they might be sick or they quit), so you have someone reliably showing up, but then you have to explain what you want done all over again.  It is best to get a friend or neighbor to recommend.  As for WHEN to have her come…ultimately, the best time to have her come is the time that is convenient for your schedule.  I would prefer a Friday clean, but realistically, so does everybody else and she wasn’t available.  It is difficult to try to have naps or homeschooling or dinner going on while cleaning, so consider time of day and see when she is available.  My last lady tended to come in the late afternoon on a day we had to be out the door for Scouts.  My kids had an early easy dinner and then we left.  When we came home at bedtime, the house was beautiful and I could enjoy the results for the longest time possible.  I knew that woman for years, and was comfortable leaving her at my house.  Do not feel you have to pack everybody up and go.  Many times, we relocated rooms or played outside while she worked.  Lastly, GOOD FOR YOU.  If you can afford it, having someone clean your house is a tremendous blessing and will make your life easier.

Your sins aren’t forgiven at the conclusion of your penance.  They are forgiven when the Priest says the words, “I absolve you of your sins…..”  The penance is a way to make right your wrong.  During confession if a Priest gives you a penance that you feel you cannot do, tell him that and ask for a more appropriate penance.  Make sure to tell him some of the other penances you’ve been given in the past and how you find it difficult to complete them, so that he can give you a penance that is doable.  Also, ask if you need to confess the penances you haven’t been able to complete.

Your priest is NOT giving usual penances which are finite.  As the above poster said, your sins are forgiven as soon as the priest says the words of absolution.  But if i was getting penances like that I would go to another priest, not to get an easier penance but to get a finite one.  Your priest is definitely unusual.  You might even ask another priest if it’s even allowed to give a “perpetual” penance.

I don’t see how you could be held permanently responsible for your dh not getting impatient.  I mean, I could see being told to be more aware of dh and give in when you don’t feel like it, but I don’t think it’s a reasonable penance to say you should *never* deny your dh anything or “make him impatient.”  It could be general advice; I’ve been told things like that in regard to my kids, but not as a penance, just as a way to work on correcting what I’d confessed.  Anyway, the above reply is correct that your sins are forgiven by the words of absolution (God is forgiving your sins, you aren’t forgiving them via your penance); the penance is to repair the damage and show your intention of amendment.  But, yes, talk to your priest about the whole thing and what is doable.

I would ask for a clarification next time.  Some priests give you little things to do for improvement: be patient, pray more, etc.  Those aren’t penances, but advice.  A penance is usually a one-off activity like Offer up this mass; Apologize to so-and-so; or say these prayers.  So before you leave the confessional, get a clear “This Is Your Penance” statement.  One way to see if you’re getting unusual penances or just mistaking the advice for the penance is to confess to another priest—see what you get from someone else.

I had this problem several years ago.  Go to the vet and they will give you a treatment to put on the animals.  Just a few drops on the back of their necks.  Flea baths don’t work because they will just jump right back on your pets.  Then treatment is absorbed into the blood and kills the fleas.  Then you must get rid of the infestation in your home.  What worked for me was to wash and dry all bedding on high heat.  Then if you have carpet you should pour salt (it is messy and a pain but it will work!) on your carpet and let it set overnight. The salt will dry up the eggs that have been laid in the carpet.  Then you need to spray your house with some sort of flea killer.  I don’t remember the name of the stuff but i got it from my vet and it cost around $20 but they have similar products at the major pet supply places.  This is a very annoying process but I had a flea problem when we had cats and I tried for a month to get rid of the fleas and the salt and the spray was the last thing i tried and I have not seen a flea since.  Good Luck!

Go to the vet ask for Capstar tablets(will kill adult fleas that are on them in half an hour).  Give it to each of them.  Then apply frontline or advantage to their necks.  Then I would bomb the house.  Make sure you remove all pets and tape up your cabinets.  Foams, and carpet sprays won’t kill the all the eggs and larvae.
I used to be a Vet Tech. and this is what we suggested at vet I worked at.  Good luck.

My exterminator also said that the fleas are outside in the yard and you need to treat out there or they will just keep coming back.

I personally would not want to live in downtown Detroit.  But there are some lovely suburbs, and the traffic really isn’t too bad if your husband has to commute in.  Ann Arbor is a bit far, but it is a really neat town, and it has the most amazing Catholic church there (Christ the King!)  (And St. Thomas the Apostle is good too!)  A little closer in is a little town called Plymouth, which is very pretty too, and the priest at the local church (Our Lady of Good Counsel) there is awesome (Fr. Riccardo).  Northville is nice, Novi is nice.  Even closer in to Detroit, Royal Oak is a neat area…  Farmington Hills isn’t bad either.  There are actually a lot of nice suburbs with pretty little downtown areas.  The housing is pretty inexpensive too, compared to other parts of the country.  Wherever you decide to move in the area, make the drive to Ann Arbor and check out Christ the King either way - people drive far to go to mass there, and it is totally worth it!

Welcome to Detroit~ you will want to live outside the city. I have lived in a few places- Royal Oak, Troy, Berkley, Northville/Farmington hills and Plymouth.. Are you planning on homeschooling? public or private, that will make a decision on where you should end up. Good luck

My family is originally from Grosse Pointe, and many relatives still live there.  It is a beautiful town with very good schools.

I recommend Livonia.  It is safe, family-oriented, and affordable unlike some of those upper-middle class suburbs mentioned above.  It is convenient to almost everything.  It is a suburb on the west side of Detroit. It has a Catholic hospital, Catholic university and Catholic all-girls high school as well as three Catholic elementary schools (although the public schools are pretty good).  I definitely don’t recommend living in Detroit.

Not sure if you’re still reading this, but right near Royal Oak is an area called Huntington Woods, which is beautiful and safe. I grew up closer to Flint than Detroit, but went to a private Catholic school in Birmingham (also close-ish to Detroit) that was lovely. That area is notoriously pricy, though. I spent a lot of time in Royal Oak in high school…in the evenings, that main stretch becomes very “clubby” so something to consider. Ferndale is a blast, but lots of 20somethings and pretty liberal and gay-friendly. FYI. Hope you enjoy Michigan! I had a lot of good years there.

Online, check out http://www.Menus4Moms.com which you have to pay for.  There are some sample menus available so you can see what you get.  There is also a book called Saving Dinner which plans the entire meal…it plans an entire week of meals based on the season and even tells you your shopping list.  Or come here and type, “I’m serving meatloaf.  What should I serve on the side?”  You’ll get plenty of free advice and recipes.

I don’t have a website or book to recommend, but I’ve heard that you should try to make your plate colorful. If you have mashed potatoes or noodles, then have carrots, corn, beans, etc. Don’t make potatoes and cauliflower in the same meal. It will make your dinner look more appealing and you’ll get a variety of vitamins that way. Also, if I have something “creamy” as the main dish, I would have a vegetable that is not bland or maybe tart if that would be the right word. For instance I would not put mac and cheese with green bean casserole. I would do a main dish that might have cream of mushroom soup in the recipe with a spinach salad or wilted lettuce or even just plain green beans. Hope this helps!

I’ve been trying to do that with my six year old. Shes old enough to help and still enjoys it. Bet that wont last long:D

You could give organic wine a try. I get headaches (maybe from sulfates) in regular wine but organic has been much better.

Do you like the fruitier mixed drinks like daqueris (sp?)  ??  Make yourself a “virgin” one… or just use a TINY bit of alcohol so you can taste it but maybe not get the side effects.  Alternatively, whatever you mix with your alcohol, mix a lot more!  I like mixing Kaluah and milk… tastes kind of like coffee.  But I add a TON of milk.   Also, I’ve heard white wine can have less of an “effect” than other drinks.  Don’t know…

My husband just reminded me of an over-the-counter remedy you can get called “Chasers”.  He gets them at Walgreens.  You take them with your drink and it prevents headaches by absorbing the alcohol.  Maybe too late for tonight but you can use this for future relief.

See:  http://www.newcreationapparel.com
I just bought 2.  All of their skirts are long: 36” or 39” and they also have maternity skirts.  Very pleased with their quick service.  They also have a clearance “treasure chest.”

I second New Creation. I bought a skirt from them my last pregnancy and loved it. The only caveat was that the panel was really think and itchy, which wasn’t that great during the warm summer months. BUT the prices were great and the sizing was great and they were modest, so in all it was totally worth it.

The Modest Mom was recommended on another website/blog that I follow.  Several people had very good things to say about the company.  You can see their selections at http://themodestmom.com/.  I haven’t bought anything from them, as I found out about the company after my most recent pregnancy.  Their pregnancy skirts look cute though!

It’s Sunday, which means a day of rest to honor the Lord. That means, no laundry, no chores, making people work…you get the idea. I can’t say that I am perfect. I have run to the grocery store on a Sunday or have thrown in laundry Sunday morning.
However, I asked a priest about this exact topic and he said that I should try not to do laundry, cleaning, going out to eat ‘cause that makes people work, and working around the house on Sunday. I should instead be with family and respecting the Lord’s Day. Way back, please don’t quote me, I think it was illegal for people to work, cook, and so on Sundays. Wow.
Do the laundry Monday morning. Or even better, grab some books/snacks, extra quarters and go to a laundry mat Monday morning and just get it all done at once. You are already starting the week on a high note (the week begins on Sunday). Take Care!

If your family has one outfit each (including underwear) to put on tomorrow, the. Ignore the piles and kick back and relax for the rest of the evening. The laundry will be there to start on tomorrow. if you can’t get it all done, sort differently, instead of sorting by color, just this one time, sort by how important the article of clothing is and wash everything in cold together. the world won’t end. Enjoy the evening.