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Email a FriendYears ago I flew alone with my two oldest boys (who were 3yrs and 16 months at the time) on a 3 hour flight. It took everything I had to keep them entertained and mostly quiet. As we were deplaning, a lady who had been on the plane with us pressed a note into my hand, smiled, and said you are doing a great job mom. I cried when I read her sweet note of encouragement (I have tears in my eyes as I type this) and her words of love and prayers for us. I still have that note and when I’m having a not so good day I read it. She was Christ for me that day reminding me that he sees my potential and trying my hardest is all he asks.
This stranger was a great example for me and many times I’ve tried to be encouraging to moms and dads I see out and about.
Encouraging Strangers
Posted by Rachel Balducci in Family on Wednesday, September 28, 2011 12:53 PM
I grabbed lunch with my sister today and walking to our table I passed the sweetest little family.
They were seated at a long table. Mom and Dad sat across from the children—a row of four toddlers who all looked like they were three. I couldn’t help myself, I had to inquire.
“Are they quadruplets,” I asked, being totally nosey but also quite smitten. There they sat, this row of identical looking cherubs, quietly munching their chips while the parents munched theirs.
“No,” the mom explained, and told me their ages (basically four babies in less than four years). There was also an older sister who was at school.
“Y’all are so beautiful,” I gushed. And it was true—just the sight of all these children, so close in age—but also seeing that this family seemed to be at ease and happy, not just maintaing. This mom and dad worked hard and it showed.
The parents both brightened and I could tell, I really could, that they weren’t necessarily used to hearing that. I can’t imagine that they’d hear anything but—except that I know, because too often I’m on the receiving end of people’s comments about how many kids we have (even when they’re being really well-behaved).
Not too long ago, I took our son in for a burn recheck and when the doctor came into our room he put all the pieces together from our first visit.
“I remember you,” I said, “you’re the lady with the twenty-seven kids.”
“It’s actually thirty-two,” I corrected.
But anyway, this post isn’t really about how weird people can be or how they react to seeing big families (and I’m sorry but six is just not a lot, not in the circles we all run in). It’s about taking the opportunity to encourage someone, instead of pointing out that they’re odd.
Yes, it’s strange to see a family with so many small children. And I’m sure those kids aren’t always well behaved (they’re humans, after all). But there they sat and in that moment it was a lovely sight.
I hope the next time I’m holding it together in public, someone will take the chance and encourage us, too.
Comments
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I just would like to say that I am always appalled to hear that anyone has said anything against large families! I just don’t get it! Growing up, I was always jealous of those around me with big families and have always wanted to have a big family of my own. Parents of big families are amazing. Although our family is small because that’s just how life happened for us, know that this ole gal is routing for you, big families!
Moms of large AND small families need encouragement.
I was always so grateful when anyone encouraged me when my children were very young and/or I was pregnant. I was once in an elevator HUGELY pregnant with three of my rowdy kids, who were then 3, 2 & 1. The most lovely, put together woman told me how beautiful I was and how beautiful my over tired children were. I still think she needed glasses & maybe a hearing aide;-), but I was touched by her kindness.
I regularly and consciously go out of my way to tell pregnant women how beautiful they are and offer some words of encouragement (depending on the situation). I also try to tell parents of young children they’re doing a great job. Recently at the airport I purposely got behind a young couple with an infant in line at the security check point. They looked dazed, exhausted and stressed. (been there!) I told them that I was is no hurry, had plenty of time and that they should just take their sweet time getting through that line with their precious baby. I thought the mom was going to cry. It was such a small gesture . . . .Good for you Rachel!
Wow, I wish you had run into *me* this afternoon at the store, haha! I notice you’re posting as “midwest mom,” though, so we’re probably hundreds of miles apart. Nevertheless, it’s so inspiring to know you and others are out there saying sweet things like “oh, take your time!” and “you’re beautiful!” Even if others don’t exactly saaaaay the opposite message… you can FEEL it in just about any check-out line, shopping aisle, or parking lot (especially if you have the “good spot” and you take 5 whole minutes just getting everyone into the car while the single dude sits behind your car with his blinker on and his hand on his forehead!)
I am the proud mom of 6.( ages 12 to 23) So of course I have heard many comments about my “large” family!I have two favorites. First, when one of my daughters got hurt at school & the local fire dept happened to be there for a fire preventation visit,so they transported her & I to the hospital. One of the volunteers happened to be my neighbor & I knew his wife. When he went home & told her that a little girl had been hurt & she asked whowas it. His response -“oh you know her she is the lady around the corner with all those kids!!” When his wife shared that with me , I busted out laughing -I said” thats right & its a title I wear proudly!!” My other is one I have heard many times—“OH God bless you…” My reply-“He certainly has 6 times!!” As a mom (no matter how many we have) a sense of humor is essential.
Now that my children are older I always make it a point to say to moms with little ones how precious they are& to treasure these years. Time goes so fast. God Bless all Families no matter what the size!!
Great post Rachel! We have been blessed to be on the receiving end of a lot of encouragement over the years as our family has grown, and it always seemed to be timed just when I needed to hear something positive. So now I try to always seek times to encourage others, especially younger moms who I see in the same sometimes frantic phases I’ve already been through. I can see the effect of those words of encouragement on their faces. I love to think that I’m able to pass on, in some simple way, all that I have received. This is what the family of God is supposed to be like.
This is a good reminder to encourage and affirm all. In my small world I have: a mom who works fulltime and helps to provide 24/7 care for her elderly mother, a mom recovering from breast cancer, a mom who has cared for her MIL for decades, a mom whose husband has been out of work for a long time, a mom caring for little ones dealing with mental illness, a mom who works fulltime to care for her family because her husband is disabled, a single women dealing with sadness that her childbearing years have passed and no husband has come, a mom of one who worships in a church that sometimes judges her for the size of her family, a mom with an extra large family whose oldest has had 2 babies in her teens, a homeschooling mom of a large family struggling to keep up.
I agree the power of affirmation and encouragement is needed. All these people work hard and sometimes it may not show with the view or experience we have of them. Or we may have preconceived ideas about them that we need to set aside. Lord, help us to provide that encouragement that those aorund us need!!
What great stories of encouragement! This inspires me to go out and offer a kind word instead of just smiling at a family like this, as I often do. It’s true that we remember such encounters from strangers for years, treasure them in our hearts. I remember as a child being out to lunch on a family vacation with my parents and two younger brothers, and we were all in such a goofy mood, laughing and singing and cracking jokes at the table - maybe a little louder than the rest of the restaurant would have liked. An older couple kept glancing at us, and at the end of their meal, they came up and shuffled towards our table. I was sure they were going to ask my parents to quiet us down and we were going to get in trouble for being too loud. But instead they simply told my parents what a wonderful family they had, and that the fun we were having together “showed everything that was good about this country.” Who knows what their story was or what led them to make such a statement, but I never forgot their words and how proud my parents look (despite the fact that we were all car-weary travelers on a long trip!).
I love it when someone says something nice about how the kids behave in public—mine are 7, 6, 4, 3 ,2, and 1. I find it really encouraging when I have to do the 900th correction about the same issue (take your pick of issues!) at home . . . then I tell myself if I don’t scoot my butt and make the correction the next comment I hear in public may not be so nice!
This is a good reminder to take the chance and OPEN my mouth and my heart to a stranger. I have also been so blessed by receiving this kind of encouragement and when I am I resolve to return the favor to others…but then sometimes I get (uncustomarily) shy. But even if you botch the words up, people know what you mean.
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