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Eternal Rest
Prayers for the Faithful Departed
Posted by Robyn Lee in Faith on Thursday, September 01, 2011 1:56 PM
Recently my family received some very shocking news. My younger cousin died suddenly at the age of 22. I can’t tell you the amount of sadness that we all felt at such a young death.
It is tragedies like this, that make one question whether our God is good.
Why God? Why so young? Is there anything I could have done? Why didn’t you take my life instead? Are you in control?
But it is tragedies like this that make us cling to God and his mercy. The emotions that are caused from grief are fierce. First the feelings of shock and denial, “how could someone so young be gone?”
Next, come the feelings of anger: I wanted to blame everyone else, including God. “How can our God be good to let something like this happen? I’m mad at you! Is this how you treat your friends!”
Once the anger calmed down I felt guilt. “I didn’t do enough. I should have been more a part of his life. I was his confirmation sponsor. I didn’t pray enough. It is all my fault.”
The interesting thing about these emotions is that they don’t necessarily come in order and could change from one instance to the next. One minute I’m fine and the next minute I’m shaking my fist heavenward.
Our God is no stranger to these emotions. Jesus felt anger when he turned over the tables at the temple. He felt sadness, especially when he grieved the death of his friend Lazarus. He knows the pain in our hearts: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” We ask the same questions, “Lord, why did you let him die? What good can come of such sadness.”
In the silence, I hear a quiet voice tell me: “Your brother will rise.”
Amid this pain, I know in my heart that God doesn’t will evil upon us, but takes any bad situation and brings about good. Even when I doubt God’s love he sends one of His messengers to strengthen me. In a conversation with my brother His wisdom speaks: “This is hard for us right now, but this happened for somebody else.” On a phone call with my sister, I hear His encouragement: “Don’t underestimate the power of prayer. Look at how many times God has answered our prayers, just in this week!” By a random meeting with a friend at a coffee shop, I feel His love. I can chat and cry with her and I know she understands.
I can’t imagine dealing with this grief without God and without family. It is beautiful to see the way the family came together to prepare for John’s wake and funeral. My sister spent hours preparing a slideshow of pictures of John’s life. My cousin put together posters and frames for the funeral home. Countless others gave of their talents whether it was designing the funeral program, baking lemon pasta for the reception or just being there to support us.
I share this story to help others who may be going through the same pain and to remind you that God is present and carrying the cross with you. Our family has been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for my cousin’s soul. I’ve been praying it every day and it brings me such consolation.
What prayers do you recommend for someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one?
Comments
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Posted by Patricia on Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 2:56 PM (EDT):
I am so very sorry about the loss of your cousin, John—blessed repose & eternal memory! I, too, love the Divine Mercy Chaplet. In the Eastern Catholic tradition, there are beautiful & moving Parastas & Panachida memorial services in which Psalms, litanies, hymns & prayers are chanted to pray for the repose of the departed, to comfort the living, & to remind those who remain behind of their own mortality & the brevity of this earthly life. The deacon (or, if there is no deacon, the priest) will swing the censer throughout almost the entire service & all will stand holding lighted candles. Near the end of the service, during the final Troparia (short hymn), all will put out their candles. Each candle symbolizes the individual soul. The extinguishing of the candle at the end of the service symbolizes the fact that each person will have to surrender their soul at the end of their life.
For me, it always help to meditate on Job 1:21: “...The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!
My mother just passed away last Thursday and we received over 20 Mass Cards for her! I am ecstatic that for the next 15 years, there will be between 1 and 20 masses being offered for my mother, on any given day, that she be reunited with God in heaven. Once we start with that, I can basically add in any other prayer and feel like I am part of a larger community praying for my mother constantly. It is so comforting!!
Posted by Cristina on Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 3:53 PM (EDT):
Robyn, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own cousin five years ago just before his 24th birthday. It was a huge shock to our family, and I lost my best friend and ally. Family is so important at this time. North Americans tend to give people space when they are grieving, but I know it was so important to my Aunt and Uncle to have people around them, especially after the business of the funeral arrangements when everyone else seems to get back to their normal lives. But something has changed, a soul has gone back to the Father. “Blessed are those who mourn” for mourning is also a gift from God. While it may not be comforting now, it has been such a beautiful experience to hear about how many lives my cousin touched in his life, and to see the way that God has worked miracles in our family and community, bringing people back to Him as a result of our Loss. My prayers are will you, your family and your cousin.
Posted by JulieC on Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 4:11 PM (EDT):
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been having similar thoughts lately. A woman in our homeschool group suddenly lost her husband. His funeral was today. They are the parents to 12 children ages 22 down to 2. It is so hard to understand why God took such a good man home when his family needs him so desperately. But, I know God’s ways are not our ways. Please keep this family in your prayers and perhaps consider donating to the fund set up for their children. Here’s the article on Major Dennehy that was in the local newspaper: http://www.unionleader.com/article/20110828/NEWS/708289941
Posted by Joan on Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 10:38 PM (EDT):
JulieC, Just read that article. My son just joined the Army National Guard. I am praying for Major Dennehy’s family and for the repose of his soul. Please tell his family “Thank You” for me, that is for Major Dennehy’s service to our country and for his family’s support of him in that service.
Posted by MCH on Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 4:44 PM (EDT):
Thank you for sharing, Robyn; I know it is very timely and needed for some individuals right now. Prayers to you and all others here sharing their grief. I so appreciate the Divine Mercy, but sometimes it feels easier to pray for the intercession of Our Lady of Sorrows since she’s been through it and can relate to our complete humaness.
Please also pray for our friend who died in combat last week and his family: http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2011/08/fort_drum_soldier_captured_in.html
Posted by Sue Haggerty on Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 9:22 PM (EDT):
The Divine Mercy Chaplet has been a great consolation to me. Thank you so much for writing this. You put into words so much of what I have been feeling as well. God is there even amidst all the pain as evidenced by so much outpouring of love.
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