I cannot recommend enough the Marquette method when it comes to breastfeeding and nfp.  They helped me through the transition which has always been very confusing for me as I have a constant mucus sign throughout breastfeeding.  There is a forum there where the actual leaders and developers in Marquette answer all your questions when they arise.  Only downside is the cost.  The monitor is around $150, and the test strips are almost a dollar apiece, and you would use average 15 a month until your cycle regulates. The web site is http://nfp.marquette.edu/definition_nfp.php and there is a complete user manual for you to download.  They also do a great job describing how to use and identify all signs of fertility if you are not interested in the monitor, and go into great detail about breastfeeding.

I’d like to second the Marquette method. My fourth child is almost 15 months old and this is the first time I’ve ever had the slightest understanding of my post-partum fertility. They have some tips for buying the monitors used and the cheapest test sticks are found on Amazon with the subscribe and save. I think it’s worth every penny. Like other methods, it can be used to help achieve pregnancy as well. They answer all questions within 24 hours (even on weekends). If you use the site to chart, which is not required, they are even better at answering questions. Personally I found the instructions inadequate, but they more than make up for it by responding to each individual situation personally.

Jenny & Kansas Mom - I have looked into the Marquette method b/c I thought it seemed like such a cool idea to use the monitor, but when I looked it up online, the Marquette site said that it recommends women have two “normal” cycles before using the monitor. So it didn’t seem like I’d be able to do it before my cycles returned with breastfeeding - does that make sense? Also, there aren’t any classes available in our area, so I wonder if we’d be able to learn it well enough from online?

Ditto on MM!  Helped us through the breastfeeding transition too.  I used the monitor starting at 5 weeks all the way through 9 months when my cycles returned.  MM has made NFP much less stressful for us and having the monitor actually gave me the freedom to get used to my mucus pattern without “fear” of getting it wrong. Also, for what it is worth, given my mucus patterns I likely would not have known that I was ovulating in that first crazy cycle at 9 months because I had no change in the mucus.  The monitor was a huge, huge help.

As for price, it is pricey.  The initial investment is hefty, but worth it to us.  We scrimped in other places to make it work.  You can save a bit on test strips by buying them through Amazon subscribe and save - I think with the discount and free shipping I’m paying about $.75-.80 per strip.  And once your cycles regulate, you’ll use far fewer strips per cycle.  Anyway, visit the website and forum.  Prayers for you and the new baby

AAK, this went to the wrong post, sorry!

Mothering spirit - sorry I posted without seeing your recent post.  MM has developed a monitor protocol for women who because of breastfeeding have not returned to cycles: http://nfp.marquette.edu/sc_breastfeed_monitor.php 

FWIW: we learned the method online and by communicating with the MM leaders on their forum.  You can keep your charts on their website, asked them to review, ask questions, etc.  they are VERY helpful and responsive (and free ).  The main focus of their work right now is breastfeeding and NFP, so they know their stuff!

Thanks so much, BMM et al! I am so glad to know it worked for you in a similar situation - I will definitely be looking into this! My husband is an engineer so I know he will love how “scientific” the monitor makes this (plus he loves gadgets, lol). I have heard great things about Marquette on this site so I am hopeful it will bring good things for us as well.

I could not believe my eyes when I saw this post!  I am in exactly your situation, or, I was until this past weekend, when my cycles returned.  Loving the sleep, not loving the confusing postpartum nfp! This is my first baby, so even though my cycles have returned, I’m still totally lost when it comes to navigating post-baby cycles, and after having been out of practice for 11 months, STM seems impossible because I can never remember to take my temp (or do remember, but haven’t been asleep for long enough).  Anyway, total abstinence has been taking a toll, and out of desperation, my husband and I started thinking of looking into Marquette (and that was one of my projects for today, actually!), but I wasn’t sure if it would help.  Thanks for posting your question- I’ve gotten my answer from all of the helpful responses!

I absolutely loved Sheila Kippley’s Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing.  Her philosophy of ecological breastfeeding, along with the La Leche League, made the years of nursing my seven children the best of my life.

I also enjoyed Kippley’s book about breastfeeding and child spacing. But, exclusive nursing is very different from “ecological”. I exclusively breastfeed my children with no pacifiers, bottles, on demand…but, I don’t sleep with them…I am an extremely light sleeper and I’m paranoid with a baby in the bed! I’m also blessed with good (early through the night) sleepers. So, I had a surprise pregnancy when my 3rd baby was only 4-months-old. So, although Kippley’s book is great, it wasn’t very helpful for me. Just FYI.

It HAS to be a basal thermometer.  That being said, I have found the basal thermometers from the drug stores to not be as accurate as the one that CCL sells.  My temps with a thermometer from Target, while close enough to eventually figure out what’s going on were pretty jumpy, while the one from CCL was steadier and clearly showed the thermal shift.  I always stick with that one - I think it’s “BD” brand. Don’t know if you can get them anywhere else. (BTW, I use STM and have for 20-some years, so I have hundreds of temp charts)

Also remember that 13% of women have a shift in their BBT at the time of ovulation. It is not a very reliable form of ovulation.

Honestly, my thermometer is from WalMart. But it might be worth ordering from CCL online for the first time, then if you have a pretty obvious/dramatic shift every month, buy a cheaper basal thermometer next time. If your temp pattern is more subtle, maybe just replace the batteries on the more expensive one (and to be clear, we’re talking $12 vs $8. Not big money either way. Good luck!!

I would avoid talking about faith, fertility and NFP right now.  Since you are not having sex the NFP talk is not necessary.  It sounds like something else needs to heal before you can move on to deeper subjects.

Is it possible your husband felt overwhelmed by having 4 small children and did not know how to cope with it?  I can’t say often enough that we are human beings and some men or women have a very difficult time managing the early years with children spaced close together.  (I am assuming your kids are young because I thnk I remember you mentioning that before but I’m not sure) I know my husband had an extremely difficult time.  I did not understand his need to do projects and was nagging about why he did not do this and that to help me.  Our pastor really helped us to sort things out. It is good to have a 3rd party because they can act as a mediator so that you can hear each other.  If you are going to bring up NFP maybe your husband needs to hear that you will use it to be 99.5% effective to avoid a pregnancy until your marriage is at a place where it can handle another baby.  Maybe he just could not or will not voice his own limitations. and his resistance is anxiety about how he would care for his growing family when he is already overwhelmed.

Marriage problems often are complex and I don’t know everything about your situation.  So you can take what I say with a grain of salt.  I hope something is helpful.

Ella! Please hang in there.  My dad was your husband 20-30 years ago.  Now, he goes to daily mass and says the Rosary with my mom.  He put her through such hell while she had the eight kids in our family.  But, as a child who loves them both very much, I can fairly say that he would not have come back to the Church without my mothers perseverance and prayers.  Do your best to strike a balance between loving him and not accepting or encouraging bad behaviors.  I like Fr. Emmerich Vogt’s Detaching With Love retreats on CD.  I wish my mom had had the consolation of those retreats—she could have said No to him more often, gently and lovingly, but firmly.  She could have told him Please don’t speak to me that way, firmly, with meaning.  But she got through.  She learned to forgive him.  He learned to love God.  Your husband hasn’t a prayer without you.  And in a sense, you don’t have a prayer without him, because God is trying to work on you through him.  God bless your efforts!

Would your husband consider a Marriage Encounter weekend or Routreville weekend, where you could learn some communication techniques that would allow you both to express yourselves without hostility - to really hear and understand where each other is at?  Your marriage is not hopeless, so don’t give up on it.  Prayers.

Thanks dear invisible but so present friends. Lots of prayers must have landed in our home today. So many graces have flooded our home. I will be joining all of you in the St Jude novena!

Just to clarify:  they reassembled my abdominal muscles after my last c-section.  The scans are showing that it is still intact, and there doesn’t seem to be too many adhesions.  I’m hoping I’m not a complete one-off here, and that somebody else has experienced something similar and will have advice/reassurance to share.

Dear rem,
Since no one else replied to your post, I want to at least encourage you by letting you know I will be praying for you!  It has to be very difficult experiencing these troubling symptoms and not getting any answers.  I do not have any personal experiences to share with you, but I do want to encourage you to either find a Creighton Certified Medical Practioner (doctor) in your area, or consider contacting the Pope Paul VI institute in Omaha.  I have a number of friends who are patients of a Creighton Certified MD in our area.  Some chose to move directly to the care of the Institute and Dr. Hilgers, the founder.  They have all exerienced relief and answers in one way or another.  I have also heard of a new organization similar to Pope Paul VI, called the Gianna Institute (I think!) which is located in New York.  Even if you do not have the funds to travel to either of these places, they would hopefully be able to point you in the right direction.  From what I have heard, they have more training in this specific area and more desire to help women experiencing these perplexing fertility-related issues than average doctors.  I hope that helps!

JMarie, that’s a wonderful idea.  I’m in.  Thank you!

Thank you SO much—in my own name and in the name of all of us here!!  I was born at 26wks and my credits prayers to St. Jude as a saving grace for me… now I am about to have baby #2 (induction tomorrow AM) on the day you start this novena and I am SO inspired & plan to join in for my own safe labor/delivery + health of the baby + all the intentions you mentioned.  I ask that others remember me and the baby in your prayers as well.  St. Jude, pray for us!!

JMarie - great idea!  will join you also!
Jen - prayers going out for you and your baby!  God bless you!

Well, since it is an academic question, give it a couple more days, and time will tell. My temps don’t always go up that quickly. If they don’t go up at all, I’m guessing you didn’t—but I am not a STM teacher (or of any method). You could possibly ask your teacher—if you had one…they are usually willing to consult on charts. Do you have a text/material that addresses that question?

Sarah…  BBT shift can be missed in about 10% of cycles, as can peak mucus and LH surges with the clearblue easy monitor.  It could be just a missed temperature shift or it could be an anovulatory/delayed ovulation cycle… but regardless, you can do two things:  You can (#1) look back at your past 6 cycles and use your latest temp shift +3 days and consider yourself infertile after that day of this cycle so long as your mucus peak is past like you said.  OR (#2) be ultra conservative and keep on waiting to be sure you haven’t missed it.

In serious circumstances, as an NFP instructor, I recommend option #2.  In my own personal situation, I go with option #1, but I wait until I’m pretty sure I’m near the very end of my cycle and mucus has not resurfaced with the possible delayed ovulation circumstance.  My husband and I evaluate how serious we are about wanting to avoid at that time as well.  I’m currently in a cycle where I’m pretty sure I peaked, but the monitor missed the surge. Kinda nerve racking when you aren’t so confident you’ve passed ovulation.

hope that helps =)

I’m not positive from a medical standpoint, but I can say that my cycles have been “text-book” 28 days for the last 2 years. (I’m now 50). Before then, I was always 35 days—or longer. I know of another woman who is experiencing a similar shortening of her cycle too. I see my dr. next month, and was going to ask him the same question. And actually, I’m not complaining. I’ve heard so many women complain about irregular cycles and all sorts of strange things, so this great regularity is something I can deal with. I do wonder though, how long it will last.

Cycle length can change on the perimenopause years, shorter or longer.  Early or late ovulations can be a result of stress.  So the day 15 could be stress related or it could be peri-menopause related. Peri-menopause can last about 10 years so that would not be all that unusual to begin to have changes already. It does not mean you aren’t fertile though.

Sorry I wasn’t of too much help, just confirming what you noticed-really.  But, if you have a chance to begin charting on the Marquette website, they are hoping to have more women using NFP in their 40’s to conduct some research studies to improve NFP women during perimenopause.  You don’t have to use a monitor to use Marquette.  They would be so grateful to you! And, you’d have free NFP consultation whenever you needed.

http://nfp.marquette.edu

Please excuse the grammer of that last post… I just reread it and now I can’t correct it.. ha! =)