Finding Christmas Joy
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Faith on Monday, December 29, 2008 3:04 PM
As the weekend has waned and the new week has started, I’ve been struggling to hold on to the joy of the Christmas celebration.
Today is just the fifth day of Christmas, still definitely a feast day, but for our family it also means the return to normal routine. Bryan is back at work today and I’m plunged into the cycle of my daily responsibilities - laundry to do, grocery list to write, etc. It’s enough to bring me back to earth with a thump.
During Morning Prayer today I noted that the antiphons and readings are still proclaiming the joy of the Incarnation as boldly as they were last Thursday, and I tried to urge myself into participation in that joy. I didn’t have much luck.
A few minutes later I heard my daughter whining in frustration. She was working on an alphabet puzzle which is too advanced for a 26-month-old, and she’d gotten stuck. I tried to convince her to set the puzzle aside, but no dice. She was determined to finish that puzzle right away, despite the fact that she can’t do it on her own.
As my head buzzed with frustration at the situation, it occurred to me in a lightbulb moment that God could feel about the way I’m acting today much the way I feel about my daughter’s frantic and misguided efforts to complete projects like that too-hard puzzle.
Look at me! Dissatisfied that I’m not rejoicing in Christmas as much as I’d like to be, and approaching the problem exactly backwards - by trying to force joy into a heart that’s not even facing the right direction.
I need a reminder of the lesson from our pastor’s Gaudete Sunday homily: true joy can never come out of our circumstances, because its only real source is Joy Himself.
Trying to bend my mind and create my own happiness at the sight of the small babe in the manger will never work. On the other hand, praying for that little baby to bring His own joy and instill it in my heart as a gift of his never-tiring grace… just might work beautifully.
Camilla eventually figured out how to get her puzzle finished: she enlisted me to assist her. Finding the right spots for the pieces was no problem at all for me. I feel certain that for the One who owns it, giving me the real joy of Christmas would be even easier than that.
So I’m going to take a cue from my two-year-old, and start asking for help. I’m deeply hopeful that true Christmas joy will be my reward.
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