First Impressions Count
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Just me on Wednesday, September 08, 2010 6:18 PM
It’s College Fair season here in Central California, which means that I’m spending a few nights this week representing my alma mater at area events where students come to obtain information from a variety of colleges.
Last night, I was reminded again of the very sad state of manners in today’s high school students. Out of approximately 800 students attending last nights event, exactly TWO students looked me in the eye and offered a handshake. I won’t even comment on the quality of those two handshakes - I’m giving them major brownie points for even trying! At the end of the evening, I finally lost my cool altogether when one student approached me with a “ring pop” and proceeded to slurp on it while asking me a series of questions about our university. Based on what this young woman told me, as a student enrolled in AP courses at her high school, she could actually look forward to a very bright future. However, if I were a “real” college counselor instead of simply an alumni volunteer, she wouldn’t have left me impressed. I actually tried to gently counsel her about a few things (especially about slurping candy while speaking to an adult who could determine the course of your future), and she actually looked shocked. A nearby teacher came to me afterward, having witnessed my gentle attempt to counsel this young woman, and thanked me for my efforts. I volunteered to come to her classroom some time to share some remarks with her class. I hope she takes me up on that offer.
I’m not stating that my sons are in any way perfect, but I will say that Greg and I have done our very best to instill in them a few basic rules of etiquette. I would hope that in a similar situation, they would be neatly attired, would offer a handshake and would look the adult squarely in the eye. In fact, when I came home last night poor Adam was subjected to a review of these skills and a lecture from mom about the sorry state of his peers’ manners.
What can we do to genuinely, lovingly help young folks today to recapture the lost art of showing respect to others? Do you review manners in your homes? Are you brave enough to “call out” your kids or their friends when you see poor behavior? Or am I just a dinosaur who needs to come into the current state of affairs and simply accept that this is the way things are now?
I’m off tonight again to meet with a whole new batch of students. Let’s hope that tonight I receive at least three handshakes… and no ring pops.
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