Katie~

May God bless you, your husband and all of those beaautiful children.  May God hold you in the palm of His hand & may the Blessed Mother be always at your side!

Yes, there is lots of joy when little ones come into your life.  I love the pure love that comes from God through their faces!  During tough moments, I take deep breaths and throughout the day, I pray a lot.  (Ex:  A prayer of thanks, a prayer for guidance, for patience, for wisdom and for God’s love to permeate through my eyes…to see my family like God does….lips to share His words.  And now I will pray for my hands to show God’s compassionate touch.)  I also love the book “The Power of the Praying Parent”  The chapters are short, and at the end there is a prayer and scriptural captions!  Also, take some “alone time”, even if it’s a few moments before everyone awakens.  It helps to de-stress.  May God bless you, guide you and carry you & your husband…in Jesus’ name I pray.

Sweet video. I must say, however, I was distracted with wondering how on earth you have three empty cabinets. Mine are too loaded to fit another thing, let alone an adorable child. I’m sure there’s an analogy there somewhere ... but it’s too early and I havent’ had coffee yet.

May God bless you all. As the mother of five, I have over the years recognized I need to ask for time. I don’t require a lot, but just a little rejuvenation now and then. It may mean a long bath, time alone at Target, a trip to the coffee shop. I also do a weekly moms prayer group and sing in the choir. So those are good “away” times that feed me and help me find a little balance. My husband and I also try to find some time alone. Which is very important (but we’re not always good at prioritizing). That is always fruitful for our relationship with each other and our relationship as parents. It gives us time to talk about each of the children and what their needs are, etc. At the end of everyday, the last thing before sleep, we talk about our love for each child, how amazing they are and how blessed we are. It’s a nice way to end the day and carries on the next morning when we start all over again.

I look forward to hearing about your journey.

Know of my prayers.

Back in 2003, we had a 5 year old, almost 4 year old, a 25 month old and newborn twins.  I was very tired, very stressed and overwhelmed.  A friend of mine who adopted two children from Russia at 18 mos. and 6 mos. at the same time, told me that, “sometimes they both cry and you just sit and cry with them!”  That was the best advice anyone ever gave me.  It just made me realize that it won’t be perfect and it will be hard, but sometimes, there is nothing you can “do” to fix it!

I set my standards super-duper low as to what we would do and what I would get done, and I just resigned myself to being at home and playing with the chidlren.  That was hard for me because I am a big list maker and “get everything done before my husband gets home” person, but I was much more at peace once I gave all that up and just played! 

During that time I started grocery shopping at night when my husband was home.  I would leave him with everyone for about an hour and a half to get it done, and by the time I got home he would be sitting in the rocker with one baby on each shoulder screaming!  The look on his face said it all- he would unload the car while I nursed!  It’s funny now, but it wasn’t then!  Somehow we survived and everyone thrived and I think they are all pretty happy because they know their parents love them and would do anything for them.  Sometimes, that’s all that matters!

Good luck with the baby and the toddlers!

The best thing we did was get some extra help when our children were babies and toddlers.  It’s ok to not do it alone.  It’s ok to ask for help.

I’m still in the midst of it with a 3yr, 2yr and 7wk old.  I know that I can’t do it all or even everything that the olders have come to expect right now.  I focus on what I can do - reading to them or watching them color or work on a puzzle and comment and encourage as I give the baby a bottle.  Before the freeze set in I’d take the baby in a sling out into the yard to get the toddlers outside and myself a change of scenery.  I also let the olders help as much as possible; washing the baby’s feet during bathtime, getting diapers and wipes for changes, gently rubbing the baby’s back as I burp her, introducing her to visitors, holding her with my help on the couch etc….
Our 2nd child is a birth child and I nursed her - and it was HARD.  She was tiny and a poor latcher - we had to pump, cup feed, use nipple shields and give breast milk in bottles at times.  You are not a failure as a Mom if you have difficulty nursing or figuring out what works best with this baby.  The reason that there are all those tricks and devices out there to help is that many people have difficulties - they’re not bad - they’re tools to provide for your baby.  Be gentle on yourself - the dirt isn’t going anywhere but the kids are growing so spend your time and energy on loving them and let everyone else help with the other stuff.

Dear Katie and Devin, You are heroes!  Anyone who adopts is a hero to me, but 4 at one time…Superheroes!  May god bless you and the children.

Wow, what blessings and what challenges!  Take this with a whole shaker of salt, I’m only a mom of one toddler.  (But she wasn’t an easy baby!)

The things that helped me get through were a consistent nap time and early bedtimes.  Part of that is because she was a terrible sleeper and SHE needed it, but I really needed the downtime.

With older kids that may not be napping anymore, you would need to do “quiet time” instead of naps.  I’ve noted time and time again in the Coffee Talks that moms of many use QT to give themselves - and the kiddos - a break during the day.  My little one is borderline ready to give up naps, but she goes down in her bed (or playing in her room) for at least an hour, maybe two, or as long as she does nap so that I can do some things that are best done without little hands helping and a little head between me and whatever I’m doing.  :>)

Personally, I’ve also found that I need a couple hours after my little one goes to bed, and the earlier SHE gets to bed, the earlier I can get to bed.  In theory.

Finally, I have discovered that if my daughter is particularly TWO on a certain day and I feel like I’m running out of patience, I ask God for grace.  It’s funny how I feel my blood pressure rising out of habit, I guess, but I quickly realize that I have a choice to act out of habit or to choose to utilize the grace that God has given me and I actually can be more patient with her.  Then I try to remember to say a prayer of gratitude and praise, because she really is God’s, not mine, and He’s doing me a favor by letting me have her.  :>)

Good luck!

What a beautiful family!!  It brings tears to my eyes!!  God has very important work for all of us and it’s truly inspirational to see this family saying “yes”  FOUR TIMES!!!  Love and prayers comin’ atcha!

Cassie

Praise be to Jesus for answering your hearts desire so generously! He who began this good work will see it through to completion.

My cousin had triplets when she already had an 17 month old - 4 under 18 months.  I had 4 in under 4 year and three of those were in under 2.5 years.  Here’s what got us through:  1) Keep repeating to yourself that this labor intensive, sleep deprived state is a season - just a season, and a short one, in the scheme of your life. It will pass faster then you can believe.  In parenting, the days are long, the years are short. 2) Get those kids sleep trained,  Read & do “Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby” 3) Get over any guilt you might have about using disposable plates, cups, bowls, utensils. 4) Work hard to get whatever it is you personally need to be peaceful.  For me it’s regular workouts. 5) Be creative in how you make your home run.  For example, when my kids were little I kept their clothes in a pretty basket under the coffee table in the family room.  It was easier to change them all right there.  I kept diapers there too. 6) Invest in good safety equipment - secure gates & latches so you can relax a bit if you lose sight of one of them. 7) if you’re at your breaking point toss your babies safely in their cribs, close the door and go take a bath/shower or go pray in the basement where you can’t h ear them fuss   They’ll be okay for 20 minutes while you get it together. *0 Consider starting a play group/rosary group in your home.  It sound crazy, but it’s easier to have your kids in their own home instead of packing them all up - misery loves company and I’m sure there are some other mom’s & babies who would love to visit with you & your people.

You’re doing great.  It is so worthwhile!  you go you mama of 4 you!

I had 4 children, 3 and under and I would say that the most important thing would be to lower standards of cleaning, change your idea of accomplishment and get emotional support. 

Those children are stunning a just so very, very precious! 

Congrats all around!

First of all - GOOD FOR YOU! Both of you! It’s awesome that you both have answered your calling as parents.

Second, you are in my prayers! Having my own family (2 girls, a 2yr. old & a 5 mo. old) has made me even more aware of how important it is to pray for families.

If you have time, try the 33 Day Consecration to Jesus Through Mary. I’m just now finishing it for the first time, and there just seems to be good changes going on.

Take care, remember to take care of yourself and God Bless!

I totally second all of Carol’s suggestions above! I use them all on an almost daily basis right now with my kids who are 4, 3, 2, and 3 weeks. I read “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” like it’s my Bible, should buy stock in a paper plate company, and just decided to host a weekly play date for friends on Friday mornings because who knows when I’ll be brave enough to actually leave the house with all four kids alone!

Good luck and God bless you!

My super-serious advice:  move back to Deming so we can help with watching the kids. 

As a mom who expects everything to be in order even with little ones running around, I know the struggle you are in.  I simply hope that it does not take you as long as it took me to lower your standards, because that is what is going to help.  And Devin, even if you are tired from work and just want to come home and rest, make sure you are giving Katie the breaks she needs.  Take the older ones away every Saturday, even if just for a few hours.  That little, precious time can help a whole lot.  Lots of hugs and lots of chocolate never hurt either!

We are so happy for your family!  We look forward to meeting all of the little ones.

What a beautiful testament to LIFE and to trusting God your family is!  I have no grand pearls of wisdom, but I what I will offer is a simple prayer: LORD, give Katie and Devin the strength they need for the work that lies ahead and bless those sweet children of theirs.

Peace & Joy!

I have 3 children (all single births) under the age of 3 and no family living nearby to help. Here are the ideas that have helped me.

First, try to abandon perfectionism. If you can keep your kids in clean diapers (for the most part), fed and not killing each other or themselves, you have succeeded that day. Some days all you can do is keep them alive.

My kids go straight for the kitchen and eat first thing in the morning, then we change diapers and hang up PJ’s (to be used for the next night if still clean) and get dressed (well, at least most days we get dressed.)

My kids generally have energetic play in the morning, nap time/quiet time after lunch, and reading time in the afternoon. We try to pick up toys once a day. I find limiting toys to dress up, books, blocks and music has helped keep things from getting out of control. Any extras (like play-dough and games or puzzles) are put somewhere high for when I have a great day and feel like getting them down. And they usually get to watch one video at some point during the day (I try to limit it to one, because otherwise my children get bored with our video selection and it doesn’t work anymore!)

Plan lots of snacks (like at least 3 a day over here), and never use all your diversions at once, if you’re going out side just do that, if you’re going to have a snack then just do that, if you’re going to watch a video just do that. If you use up all 3 at once you might be out of options later during the day.

I have several easy meals that get cycled pretty often, spaghetti, tacos, some crock pot meals. I try to have ingredients for beef and beans or tuna on hand all the time since they can be thrown together in a few moments after a particularly bad day.

I don’t do special meals for kids at dinner. They usually eat whatever we do, and if they don’t for some reason they are allowed to get down and go play. I don’t force them to eat it, but they don’t get anything different either. They usually get a snack of bread and butter right before bed and that helps them sleep a little longer.

Less is more! Anything that I don’t use EVERYDAY is put in the basement. Its that much less stuff for them to get into, and that much less for me to clean and keep track of and feel bad when I don’t have time to use it.

I try to get one load of dishes into the dishwasher everyday, since if I don’t they pile up like crazy. I have a little hand vac in my kitchen, it makes cleaning up highchairs soooooo much easier.

I try to sweep the whole kitchen floor once a day, then the amazing amount of food that my kids manage to drop on the floor doesn’t get tracked all over the house and I have to wash my kitchen floor less often.

If my cleaning gets really backed up (usually happens at least once a week) I get my hubby to spend an hour with the kids while I do a whirlwind pickup and vacuum.

I try to get one load of laundry in the wash machine at some point during the day, before I go to bed I make sure that I threw it in the dryer. I have all our clothing stored in the basement right next to the wash machine and dryer. Yes it makes it a little strange when my hubby forgets to grab clothes before his shower and has to hike downstairs in a towel to grab some clean clothes, but the clothing never got put away otherwise. (Plus my kids were always unloading the dressers to play dress up if by some miracle some clothing had gotten put away.) I have a table and a hanging rod in the corner for all my hubby’s clothes, a long shelf each for the kids, and a small shelving unit for myself. I wash all sheets and towels and underwear on hot, everything else is washed cold and unsorted. When I empty the dryer I throw it onto the clean laundry pile on top of a blanket I leave on the floor, I try to sort through the clean clothes for a few minutes every night. I fold or hand hubby’s and my clothing. I don’t even try to fold all the tiny pieces of toddler and baby clothing, I sort it by kid and lay it on their shelf.

I try to keep the diaper bag loaded and ready to go at all times, then I don’t have to think about it when I am trying to stuff all those wiggly fat little arms and legs into outerwear to go out somewhere.
Hats and scarves get stuffed into the coat sleeves and hung onto a high hook, mittens must be on a string. When boots get taken off at the door they all get thrown in the plastic bin right there.

We do our grocery shopping as a family every other week, on hubby’s day off we go to the store first thing in the morning (2 carts and the baby in the sling) and we stock up on everything we will need for 2 weeks. I plan dinners so I know what to buy, and just get stuff I use most often for breakfasts and lunches.

I can’t think of any books that I’ve really gained a whole lot from, most of them are about dealing with one or 2 children. The product I can’t do without is probably the baby bouncer and the bed rail I have on my bed (That way if I am nursing at night I don’t have to worry about the baby falling out of bed). If you get to sleep during the day, DO IT! My oldest won’t nap anymore, so it isn’t usually an option for me. Be sure that you get enough water (I always forget to drink enough) it might help to keep a full jug on the counter to remind you, or just drink one full glass every time you nurse or go to the bathroom (yes, you really do need that much when you are nursing). Vitamins D and B are important. Exercise is important, I’ve been trying (the last month or so) to walk for 20 minutes on the treadmill during the babies video everyday or so. This list is pretty comical if I look at it, but hopefully helpful. Don’t think that somehow I actually keep up with all of this every day (or any day for that matter) but these guidelines have helped maintain sanity.

What a wonderful blessing!  As a mom of 9, I know that life can be crazy with a bunch of babies and toddlers, but I also have learned that those are the greatest, most joyous days of my life.  There were days I thought I would lose my mind but God also granted me the grace to give a little more.  I look back on the crazy years when I had 6 kids under 6 as the best days of my life.

A friend of mine brought this story to my attention thinking that we had a lot in common and boy do we ever! My husband and I had one son and decided to become foster parents. Within a span of 2 1/2 years we went from 1 child to 6 (some birth some adopted.) It was, how you say, a WILD ride. God has blessed us tremendously! We are soon expecting #7 and my oldest is just 9 so the house is still jumping…literally…LOL! So many of the women have given great answers…The only thing I might add is to make sure that you get some hubby time somehow, we had some very generous frinds who offered to help and I was always afriad to take them up on it…please don’t make my mistake. Take help that is offered, if you don’t you are not allowing others to bless you in a way that God is calling them to, like he called you to adopt. Just keep that in mind. If you ever want to talk I would LOVE to!

God bless you!!  You are doing a great job.  How do I know that?  I just do.  You are in our prayers!

God bless you and shower you with grace. Elizabeth Foss once posted a letter from St. Francis de Sales to an expectant mother that I still take comfort and advice from. Here’s a link: http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/2006/09/saint_francis_d.html
It contains wisdom for all mothers.

I can’t offer any better advice than what you’ve already received above!  Thank you for doing what you’re doing.  God bless you and grant you much peace amid the (happy) chaos!

In talking about surviving and thriving in the early years with a mom I respect, she shared that at some point, her husband had said, “We need to find and spend money on a good babysitter.  What is the point of saving $ for the kids college funds if they’ll be going to college with childhood memories of a frazzled, exhausted mom?”
That helped me loosen up the pursestrings and start “splurging” on a babysitter more often, just for my sake, in addition to nights out for dh and me.

Oh, what a beautiful family you have Katie!  These days and months and probably year will seem at times like you are in a haze, a blur, as you struggle against the exhaustion of lack of sleep and lots of littles to keep fed, clothed, occupied, out of trouble.  Your sense of humor will serve you well now.  Sometimes when I was faced with disgusting messes or unbelievable situations I would try to laugh my way through it, picturing scenes from movies like Steve Martin’s “Cheaper by the Dozen” or thinking of how I was going to tell a great story that wouldn’t need embellished (things like this come to mind: the time when I was cutting my oldest’s hair - she had just turned 3 - on the counter in the bathroom with the newest baby and 1.5 year old boy in the tub playing….my daughter turned her head at the wrong moment and my scissors sliced right into her earlobe - uncontrollable bleeding, wet babies in the tub, husband at work of course….needless to say that was our LAST home hair cut; or the time that we tried having a dog - and one of the toddlers stepped in dog poop, which the untrained dog had nicely left in the playroom as a surprise for us….the child walked all the way up to my bedroom to tell me of the problem, leaving a reeking path of dog doo on the carpet along the way; the “armchair dictator” that I became as I nursed the current baby and shouted orders to the others) .  Though my life is complicated now as a home schooling mom of nine, things were probably the most exhausting and overwhelming when “they were all babies” (five kids five and under).  So keep that sense of humor alive.

The other tidbit I would offer is - when overwhelmed by it all, try to keep things in perspective and remember that these days will go quickly.  My husband and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary yesterday, and while out to dinner we discussed how it seems like we had just blinked and they all grew up (well, we still have a four year old and plenty of young ones, but five teenagers too).  You’ll be so glad later, when the dust of this time settles, that you spent at least some of the time enjoying the craziness, noise, and sheer work of it all.

You have an amazing family.  You are the embodiment of one of my favorite Mother Teresa quotes:  “Do something beautiful for God”.  That is exactly what you are doing - keep up the great work!

Thank you everyone, for your comments here and on our blog! We feel blessed and honored to be given such helpful attention.

I love the comments from moms who say to play with the kids, and the one who says that dirt isn’t going anywhere.  I often used to say the little poem, “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.  So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep!”  Now that the three oldest of my eight are 1. in Spain, 2. in Texas, 3. in college, I know how true it is!  I never, ever thought they’d all be grown so quickly!  Two little pieces of advice that you might not need:  it doesn’t hurt the baby to cry for a minute while you take a toddler to the potty (obviously the baby will be in a safe place!) or get an about-to-burn dinner off the stove, a thought that can keep you from stressing when everyone needs you at once; and take lots and lots of pictures so you can look back and keep thanking God for the beautiful gifts He’s given you!!!

I’m so amazed by this family! They are truly doing God’s work!

Let me start by saying Congratulations! Adopting three and birthing one in less than a year - you are SUPERWOMAN!

I have been in a similar position, but not exactly. Our family was called to serve “Jesus In Disguise” through family life and foster care. Now in 2010, we have four biological children and one foster/pre-adoption child. We are hoping to get the adoption going sometime this year to finalize sometime next year. Anyway - A few years ago, we took on a sibling group of three. With my then three children I had six children - 12, 5, 4, 3, 2, and a very medically fragile micro preemie. The baby required constant around the clock care (medication sometimes as often as every hour). I became very reliant on timers, alarm clocks and audio/visual cues that things needed to get done (like cooking dinner for the rest of us) - Other wise, the care of the baby and playing with the rest of the kids to be sure they did not feel ignored or neglected would just consume my day.

Do not be afraid to ask for help.
Do not be afraid to ask for help.
Do not be afraid to ask for help.

Chances are there are a few people that would jump at the opportunity to help you because they think what you are doing to amazing. Get help with the cooking and the cleaning or even the laundry. The best thing my family ever did was adopt “Grandma Pat”! She would come over once sometimes twice a week to watch the children while I took the baby to her appointments (there were many sometimes 3 or 4 a week I would schedule as best as I could to minimize my time away) but she would stay long after I got home and help cook, and clean, and fold laundry… sometimes she wouldn’t help with that stuff and she would just sit and listen so that I had an adult to talk to.

You can do this - but please don’t try to go it alone. Friends, family, that nice grandmotherly lady that sits a few pews ahead of you at church… reach out and ask for help.

It helps me to remember - these little people are all “Jesus in Disguise” - Whatsoever you do for the least of my people, you do unto me…

Peace and Blessings