Giving Mothers Confidence
Posted by Danielle Bean in Family on Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:31 PM
Remember the conversation Lisa hosted a while back about hospitals giving away free formula to new mothers?
I was reminded of it recently when Simcha brought this blog post about treating mothers as grown ups by Veronica Mitchell to my attention.
Here’s a simple rule: if the problem is a lack of knowledge, then the solution is the supply of knowledge. Explain it to them. My overwhelming objection to hospital policies that interfere with the free formula is that they try to encourage breastfeeding NOT by presenting accurate information and allowing women to make informed decisions, but by treating goods and info as tools for manipulating women into the desired behavior. It treats mothers not as responsible adults who need facts to determine choices, but as children who are easily confused and need a little cajoling to get it right. I am not a child.
I find this an interesting way to look at the problem. In fact, it reminded me of some the very good points Rebecca recently made about society sometimes seeming to err on the side of assuming parents don’t know what they are doing.
I remember once talking with my OB-GYN about a medical condition one of my sons has. He was curious about current medications and treatments for his condition.
After we had spoken about the different options and treatments for a while, the doctor interrupted me to ask if I had a medical background.
“You really know your stuff,” he said. “Are you a nurse?”
“No,” I told him, “I’m my son’s mom.”
Aren’t mothers grown ups? Aren’t they the first and foremost authorities when it comes to their own children’s needs? Shouldn’t medical professionals treat them as such?
I hear from young, insecure moms all the time. When they struggle with parenting decisions, they often seem want some kind of authority to give them a “stamp of approval.” They ask their doctors, they read parenting books, or they email people like me.
I think that the very best gift we can give anxious young mothers is access to good information ... and confidence in their own abilities to meet their children’s needs.
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