I’m torn between wanting to point out that the link between girls and pink is a recent cultural development and acknowledging that I hate black dresses at weddings, so I have my own color issues.
My boys (I only have boys) have all gone through periods of wanting polish—they saw it on my toes, and thought it was cool—and it was a handy incentive for cooperation when I trimmed their nails. I mean, even if you aren’t worried about whether your kid likes nail polish, we can all agree that long toenails are creepy on anyone at any age, right?

I’m not surprised at all.  It’s typical Manhattan media attitude on behalf of the designer.  On a side note, my friend works at JCrew and last year the CEO visited the store and asked why the childrens’ line was fairing so poorly and she told him it was because no mother in her right mind would pay over $40 for a pair of kid’s jeans.

This post, along with the article you linked, reminded me of a post by Arwen that sparked a heated debate several months ago.  In her post Arwen talked about her son dressing in her daughter’s clothes.  I think Arwen’s thoughts on the issue (although I don’t want to put words in her mouth), along with mine fit in with this quote from the article:
“’Lots of kids, say 7 and under, might ask their parents for something that would seem to be cross gender, and I think most parents, especially in the privacy of their own home might think, what’s the big deal?’ Paoletti said.”
After Arwen’s post ran my husband and I had the discussion about if we would let our children dress in the opposite gender’s clothes around the house or for pretend play.  He was perfectly fine with our girls dressing in pretend clothes that tend to be labeled as boys’ clothes (fireman, pirate, etc.) and he’s fine with our daughters playing with trains, cars, and other toys labeled as boy toys.  When it came to our hypothetical boys (we only have two daughters thus far) he was a little more hesitant about the reversal, but after discussing it, we agreed that when they’re little and around the house it’s no big deal. 
  When my nephews, all three and under, come to our house to play they want to play with our dolls, stroller, and tea set.  Should I forbid them from playing with these items?  That would be ridiculous!  They want to play with these items, because they’re new toys to them, but also, they’re the same things they see in everyday life.  They ride in strollers, so who wouldn’t think it’s fun to push a little stroller?  My two year old daughter loves yellow one day, pink the next, and green the following.  She doesn’t identify things with a gender.  She wants her toe nails painted simply because she sees that mine are painted.  I don’t see a problem with that.  Let little kids be little!

I am not a user of polish so we’ve never had to cross that bridge with our boys. My 2 year old does love to play in my make-up though, he especially likes me to wear lip gloss/lip stick, he also brings me his sister’s barrettes to put in his hair. It doesn’t really bother me. I remember my grandfather lathering my face in shaving cream and giving me a razorless razor to ‘shave’ with. It was something we occasionally did together and was fun. It didn’t make me masculine, it was just fun with my Popsy. T. doesn’t live to wear my make-up or his sister’s barrettes and he is only TWO. It isn’t like my 14 and 16 yo boys are asking to wear make-up and their sisters clothes.

I have to agree with Jen’s post. We have to let little kids be little. At such an early age, kids do not even understand ‘gender’ and don’t realize such differences. I have four kids, 3 girls and 1 boy. With two older sisters and one younger, my son is surrounded by a sea of pink, frills, lace, Barbies, dolls, nail polish, lip gloss, etc. When they were younger, my two older girls would put hair clips in his hair and he would parade around the house proudly. It wasn’t that he wanted to be ‘girlie’. The fact that he was getting attention from his older sisters and they were including him was all that mattered to him at age 2, 3 and 4. Now at age 10, he is truly all ‘boy’. But this does not keep him from sitting down and playing dolls or girlie things with his 8 yo sister who happens to be his best friend in life. Just the same, she will sit down with him and play with his action figures and throw football. Is this a crime? My husband and I have never worried about what affects having all the girlie influence would have on him. Just the opposite… we feel that he will be ahead of the game when it comes to being able to relate to the opposite sex when he gets older. He already demonstrates such gentleman attitudes toward his sisters; holding the door for them, letting them fix their plate at dinner first, etc. I have to say that the female influence will only make him a better brother, boyfriend and husband some day. And as far as the ‘pink’ issue goes… my son wears pink a lot (he even has pink arm bands for football) and when his friends ask why, he states proudly that he is honoring his grandmother who battled breast cancer and won; and he is remembering a dear aunt who lost her battle. So even at 10 yo, he is a better man than some 40 yo men! Let’s not push such maor issues on our children at such young ages. Let’s encourage discussion on such choices if necessary. Otherwise… let them be kids!

When I was a teenager, I baby sat for a family with 2 little boys. One of the boys (he was probably 3 or 4 at the time) had pale pink nail polish on his toes one day. The boys went to the childcare room at the bowling alley while their mom bowled in a league (with my mom). The grandmotherly lady in charge had been painting the girls finger nails and he wanted some too—but she put his on his toes instead (so they were not visible easily).

I don’t remember if the Dad said anything about it. But it was definitely a case of “I want that too” with the girls, not because it was nail polish.

We didn’t have this particular issue with my son, but probably because he was the first and I very, very rarely wear polish. The only time he’s had his nails done was for Halloween—dark green as Frankenstein and black as something else one year. No pink!

I do think, while it’s harder for dads to accept sometimes, we need to be a little flexible with very young boys when things are just play. I don’t believe wearing nail polish or a sister’s dress up clothes for occasional play is going to shape a very young boy’s gender identity!

I actually think it’s good for boys to play with “house” stuff if they want to—after all they live with those things and will one day run a house full of dishes, brooms, vacuums, and may one day have babies of their own! I just wish more dads could see it that way—that kind of play is just imagining being a grown up in “real life” some day. Maybe they can “cook” on a grill or over a play campfire—that might make it more acceptable! ; )

I am uncomfortable pushing the emasculation of men/boys in our society; however, I have 3 sons 20, 14 and 4 who have been known to dress up in their 5 sister’s clothing occassionally.  Of course, my husband doesn’t like it, but I really think when they’ve done it (around 5 years old) they were just curious about girls and dresses.  Whenever we paint the girls’ toenails, the boys always want to get in on it, too.  I’ve usualy allowed the little boys to get one toenail painted and that satisfies them.  They outgrow it.
My boys and husband all wear pink dress shirts to church with their suits because “tough guys can wear pink.”

We’ve had the issue of boys wanting their nails painted a couple times.  In most cases (like toys and dress-up), we don’t have anything “off limits” for one gender or the other, but nail polish seemed to cross the line for me.  So far, we’ve been able to even the score by saying girls get nail polish, boys get to pee standing up.  Life’s fair once again.

We always tell our boys when they are little that nail polish, earrings, and colored make-up are for mommies and other girls. They have never questioned that explanation. But as lots of little boys do though, they have a period where they want to be like mommy and wear make-up. So I allow them to powder their nose, literally. That’s it and it is always a short-lived stage between 2.5 and 3.5. As for pink, it’s my 3-year-old’s favorite color right now. His favorite color before that was purple., both thanks to Dora. I don’t care, I know he’ll outgrow it when he outgrows Dora. But there won’t be any pink nail polish, of course I don’t wear pink polish either

I definitely remember my younger brother wearing my barettes, etc when we were young. We’re only 18 mos apart so he naturally wanted to do anything that I was doing. It didn’t cause any harm.

That being said, there are those out there who are too concerned about damaging their child’s “independence” to try and show them what their true gender role is. I am thinking of a woman who wrote a book about her “princess” boy, and then appeared on national tv with him in a frilly purple dress. That crosses the line to me. As parents we have a responsibility to show our children what it means to be men and women, and it’s particularly important in this time of confusion.

As a dad I have to say I’d rather not see my 3 year old in nail polish.  I agree with Rebecca’s approach, explaining that the polish is for mommies and little girls.  At this age they are still exploring who they are, and as little men they need this clarification.  It sets the foundation for a clear understanding of who they are as young men - which we need more of at the moment.  Society and culture wants us to blur the lines, be an a-sexual androgenous society where gender is seen as symptomiatic of all that is wrong with the world, and that just is not what I believe.

I have read with interest all of the responses above.  I too share some of the conflicted feelings.  Our middle son loved the color purple at age 2-3.  Once when I took him shoe shopping he only wanted the purple maryjanes.  We left the store that day with no new shoes.  Like many of the boys mentioned above he is now 11 and “all boy.”  This was simply a toddler who preferred a color more than others.  However, I must insert my concern that this is Madison Avenues continuing agenda to blur the gender roles, take away the traditional family and push the metro sexual label.  What is a metro sexual male anyway?  God made two genders, male and female.  Nothing more.  In California there is a bill which may well be passed which mandates that public schools K-12 teach about the contributions of transgenders, gays, etc to society.  Knowing California it very well may pass.  Why does anyone’s sexual behavior need to be discussed or identified at all?  Leave it out of the schools and out of the media.  The family is under attack by “the evil one” and we must be wary of the ways he is tearing down our families and the church. 
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/04/06/include-gay-rights-movement-info-california-textbooks-clears-hurdle/

I wonder where dad was and what he said! I would have said something like: “well son, boys don’t paint their toe nails, but you can [insert option here] instaed”.

Pink toe nails is a bit extreem, since painted toe nails is a very very girly thing to do. If he wanted something on his toes maybe she should have found a superhero sticker to put on there. That being said, I know plenty of men that wear pink polo shirts and those look fine on them. It it were a pink skirt I would have a different opinion though!

You are right that there is a sense of loosing a sense of what it means to be masculine and creating a gender neutral society, which harms men and women both. It is what the feminists have wanted to do all along, and it has backfired in many ways. Boys need to grow up to be men, and girls to be women.

I would probably discourage the nail polish, but I have no problem with my son playing with a baby doll (his is a boy doll), pushing his toy grocery cart and playing with his toy kitchen (which is not pink;  I made a point of getting one in primary colors).  His favorite thing is to do yardwork with dad, so I don’t think it’s hurting him to do some other indoor activities which his father also engages in.

Perhaps I am terribly old-fashioned, but as the mom of both a boy and a girl I have had no issue with just telling my son “No” when he asks if he could have nail polish on his toes.  My daughter loves having her toes painted because I paint mine.  When my son saw this, he was curious (though, admittedly not exactly strongly curious) so when he asked if his toes could be painted I just let him know that painting toes and fingers is for girls.  Then I asked if he saw daddy with painted toes.  When he realized this, he scrunched up his nose and said then he didn’t want any!  No hurt feelings, no issues at all.  Just a quick, painless explanation.

Two points. I don’t like the ad- that boy is too old for nail polish. Society doesn’t need to be swayed any further into this genderless society.  Yet, at home in play it’s not a big deal.  Just yesterday, my 8 yr. old boy found the old Pooh tea set and he and his brothers (11 yr and 2 yr) sat down to “tea”. It was adorable and innocent…and involved sugar:-) Last year, the then 1 yr old boy wanted his toes painted, like his 12 yr old sister. So, she chose blue nail polish. I thought it was cute, although my husband didn’t like it, and had her remove the polish before he went in public.

Our kids go girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, boy. Every one of the boys wanted (and got) pink nail polish up until about the age of 3 or 4, and then didn’t want it anymore, when they figured out it was “for girls”. At that young age they have no idea the pink nail polish is gender specific. As soon as they do, they refuse to wear it. I don’t think there is a risk of emasculation from wearing pink nail polish.

My four year old son has worn nail polish many times—he wants it because his sisters have it and they are the ones who put it on him.  And for the folks who think Daddys don’t wear nail polish—my husband has donned blue nails, if his daughter wants to paint them!  It’s all about being a good sport and having fun.  My son (and my husband!!) know that nail polish is for girls!

All my children were born in China and adopted as toddlers.  In China they don’t tend to have the color-gender rules we have here (blue for boys, pink for girls).  My oldest son, LOVES the color pink and always has but at nearly 10 years of age, he’s learned not to admit it publicly or wear it.  I tell him pink is OK for boys to wear, it’s just a color, and some men where pink oxford shirts (his father had one at one point), but that most people think pink is just for girls.

I think boys are curious about nail polish and make up.  One of my 7 yr old sons picked up my eye shadow this morning and said, “I wish I could have eyes like this.”  I just explained it was for mommies and big girls only.  All of my boys have put their sister’s princess/ballet dress-up clothes on at one point.  It’s goofy and fun, but there is no mistaking that my boys are “all boy.”  I don’t sweat it at home.

I have to agree with others though that I am frustrated with the continued emasculating of men in our culture.

If a girl wants to wear blue and have a short haircut is that an outrage??  In some countries, there is no “pink is for girls” “blue is for boys”.  These ridiculous rules are what spawn hatred and bigotry.  People should wear what they like and let their children have fun being kids.  There are things I did with my hair in my 20s that I could not get away with now as a 43 year old.  It is just fun and nothing to do with gender identity, emasculization or anything else.

My boys had dolls and my girls had trucks.  My grandchildren play with whatever they’re interested in playing with at the time.  My eldest son’s favourite colour was (is) purple.l But…

Children need to learn at home that there are some things “for girls” and some “for boys.” - WHEN they learn that is up to parents, but parents HAD BETTER teach it and had better have the job done before the world interfers. 

Here in Ontario, Canada we have a new curriculum that discusses with PRIMARY children the “fact” that gender is fluid!  I imagine something similar is occurring in day care centres (or soon will be).  Teachers are instructed to showcase GBLT role models and encourage participation in ‘pride’ events.

The title of this article made me grin.  My 8-year-old boy has firmly stated his favorite color was pink since he was about 3.  At first, I was embarrassed.  Then, I thought I should ask him why.  His response humbled me.  “Mama, pink is my favorite color because it’s the color of the sunset.”  God Bless him and all little boys who love the pink sunsets!

I just can’t believe what I’m reading here!  Is this the same Faith and Family that had to close down comments about skirts vs. pants!  Are the same people who were so dismissive of girls/women wearing pants (so unfeminine) now commending a four year old boy for wearing pink toe nail polish?  Has the world gone mad?

There is nothing inherently feminine about a certain color or mode of dress.  At one time it would have been scandalous for a man to wear an earring but now you see it so often (on masculine hetersexual men) that we hardly notice.  Same with necklaces.  These trends come and go and if many boys started in on a trend of wearing nail polish we would accept it.  In ancient times both men and women, even Jesus, wore dresses (tunics).  Styles come and go.  When kids are old enough they pick up on what is currently acceptable and in vogue and follow along.  We really don’t need to impose strictures because kids will eventually do it on their own without any help from us.

When my nephew was yoiunger he loved to have his nails polished.  He once came to my daughter’s birthday party with his fingernails painted red, wearing his Batman cape.  He’s now a grown man, if anything he leans towards the neanderthal side and did not grow up to be a superhero.  My 5 yo son’s favorite color is pink and when he was younger all the moms in the playgroup commented that he did much better in plastic high heels than any of the girls did!  He has an older sister and female cousin close in age.  They’re more like sibling than cousins and do pretty much everything together, including dress up.  He used to go for the pink princess dresses but now is attached to his werewolf costume in which he torments the princesses.  I guess my point is kids will be kids.  I didn’t encourage the princess play but didn’t freak out either.  He wanted to to do what his sisters were doing.  He’s pretty much grown out of it, when I watch him at school or the park, he’s all boy.  It seems to be a phase they go through.

i think its important to separate two things here - the nailpolish and the pink.

Pink is a color and is perfectly acceptable for men and boys to wear.  My husband looks quite handsome in his pink polo on Gaudete and Latarae Sunday and for heavens sake, the priest wears rose as well!  Clearly, the color isn’t the problem.

However, I am firmly on the “nailpolish is for mamas and girls” side of the fence.  As someone said earlier, girls can’t pee standing up, boys don’t wear makeup.  Girls have babies and boys can be priests.  Some things are different, thats life, no biggie.

lastly, for all those mamas tolerant of little boys just going through a “wanting to do like sister or mama” stage, that is certainly fine.  HOWEVER, as someone pointed out, look at the story Rachel is referring to - this kid is NOT 2, 3 or even 4.  that mother is enshrining her “gender neutrality” nonsense for what looks like a six year old!

I agree with all those who say that it’s not a big deal when they are little and eventually they grow out of it. But I think it’s interesting that so often it is the men who have a problem with letting boys try “girl” things out. Several times my husband objected to our young son imitating his sisters. I don’t think that’s reasonable. Once he was wearing plastic jewelry. I love the picture I took! As a matter of fact I think it is men who are comfortable with their masculinity who don’t mind wearing a pink shirt if it looks good on them. And it’s only the dictates of our culture of what is masculine and feminine. (Personally it drives me nuts that we women are excepted to shave our legs!) Our boys become boys without us pushing it. But then we don’t ENCOURAGE them to behave like girls. (Although our culture has no problem at all encouraging girls to be like the boys.)

I have 3 boys all younger than their 2 sisters. They never asked to wear nail polish or to wear pink. They did play with baby dolls and kitchen sets.  I don’t think I would allow my boy to wear nail polish.  I draw the line with that.  Just my 2 sense.  : )

I had to stop and think about my reaction to this ad and I still don’t truly know where I feel.  My gut reaction is that I hope a little thought went into how the kid with the hot pink toenails is going to fare in junior high and high school - at ten (not five or six or even seven), this is the kind of thing that could come back to haunt him from mean kiddos. 

As far as evaluating this as a marketing tactic, however - when was the last time you heard J Crew discussed dozens of times by different people in one day?

Just thought I’d share a link from People.com about Jennifer Lopez. First time I’ve ever seen a public male figure show disdain for his son wearing nail polish, even if it’s blue, and only a couple of toe nails because the kid won’t sit still.

http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20360857_20481259,00.html

I’m with Rebecca above: there will be no painting of boy-toes in our house! A simple “this is for girls” approach works well. However, we’re pretty preppy—so pink is totally fine for boys if it;s an oxford, polo, or tie!

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