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Email a FriendWooHoo, Katie, you made the big time - Faith and Family! And we are ever so happy that such a happy ending resulted from the “dreaded” online dating. I hope to see your words around here more often! (Hint, hint, Danielle).
How I Met My Husband Online
guest post from blogger Katie Rose
Posted by Danielle Bean in Marriage on Monday, March 30, 2009 11:30 AM
(In our ongoing effort to provide you with a variety of content and different world views here at Faith & Family Live, we will be featuring occasional guest posts from bloggers who have something unique to share. Today, we have a guest-post from Catholic mom blogger Katie Rose who shares how she and her husband Devin met and found love ... through a Catholic internet dating service.)
I never wanted to meet my husband on the Internet.
Online dating sites, I thought, were the haunt of rapidly aging socially-challenged men, and, if I joined an online group, I would be implying that I, too, was socially awkward.
Yet, I had been out of college for three years, and my options for meeting my spouse were increasingly slim. There was no one at work to date, or at church, and I was dubious about meeting the right guy at a bar. With a flourish and a laughing promise to friends that I was not going to take this too seriously, I signed on to AveMariaSingles.com.
Goodness, it was fun.
There were too many eligible men to choose from, it seemed, and I could not narrow my options too quickly. It was in this frame of mind that I received an e-mail from the young man who was to later become my husband.
Devin was handsome, but I was not riveted, and soon thanked him for his interest but informed him that I was going to correspond with someone else. My vocation might have been forever doomed, had not Our Lord ensured that Devin and I encounter each other once more, some weeks later, and begin corresponding in earnest. The various twists and turns of our discernment and courtship are recorded in our “success story” at Ave Maria Singles.
Thanks be to God, who ensures our success, even when we are too careless with our vocations.
Someone might question the safety of meeting men online, and rightly so. It is possible to be careless and people with evil intent do lurk on the Internet. With this in mind, I instituted certain safeguards while on AveMariaSingles that seemed prudent.
I did not divulge personal details about myself to Devin until we had corresponded for some time. Also, I involved my parents; when Devin expressed interest in calling me on the phone, I required him to ask permission from my father, assuming that an axe-murdered would not wish to speak with my father.
Devin, it turns out, was not an axe-murderer, and bravely contacted my father, who gave him my phone number. In addition, the first time Devin and I met in person, he flew to my hometown and met me for lunch at a local restaurant, after which he followed me home in his own car and met my entire family—all seven of my siblings, as well as my parents. There is safety in these numbers.
As an undergraduate at the University of Notre Dame, I studied abroad in India and was impressed by their system of arranged marriages. The Indian divorce rate is barely 5%, and most couples have happy marriages. Indians claim that arranged marriages are easier because they ensure a match that is good and reasonable and not clouded by romance which can forget to ask the difficult questions; romance blossoms naturally when two people choose to love each other, they insisted.
Catholic Internet dating, it seems to me, models this arranged marriage system somewhat. It cuts out the preliminaries which so often confuse discernment. At AveMariaSingles, I knew right away someone’s educational background, faithfulness to Church teachings, favorite books, desired place to settle down, and so forth.
Devin and I were able to dispose of the flirtations that can mask incompatibility. Through the safety and prudence of discerning our vocation through AveMariaSingles, we were led clearly and quickly to our vocation, marrying one year after Devin’s first e-mail to me. I did not dream of meeting my husband in this way, but Our Lord knew that we would not meet any other way.
God worked powerfully for us through this venue, and perhaps He will do so for you.
—Katie and her husband Devin are the proud parents of two delicious baby boys. You can read more of their Catholic family adventures at their blog, St. Joseph’s Vanguard and Our Lady’s Train.
Comments
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Posted by Maureen Griffin on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 12:38 PM (EDT):
My husband and I met on-line too. I was away from the Church but feeling a pull back to it but not really knowing how to go about it. I’d begun praying to God to help me find my way back. I’d done Internet dating with no long-term success when one day a banner popped up with the Catholic subset of the site I was using. My first thought was “I wonder what losers are on here” (yes, I was rather worldly and prideful). I did a search and my now husband turned up. He lived far enough away that I figured we’d never meet but he’d also been away from the Church and found his way home. Thinking he’d be a resource to help me with my questions about the Church I contacted him. We emailed, then phoned, then he said he wanted to come meet me. I said OK and one Sunday he came to meet me. Our date started with Mass and 18 months later we were married. We’ve since been blessed with 2 children. God is so generous—I asked for help finding God and he sent me my own personal tour guide and the answer to the prayer I was afraid to say but held in my heart—a man to be my husband and partner for life.
Posted by Clare Marie-Therese Duroc on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 12:44 PM (EDT):
Aaaww… thanks for sharing your story. So sweet and lovely!
Posted by Devin Rose on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 2:12 PM (EDT):
Hello friends,
Certainly there is no silver bullet with finding your spouse, and faithful Catholic singles sites like Ave Maria Singles are the way that God brings some people together (like me and Katie), but not the way He brings all or even most couples together.
Perseverance is needed as well. Katie was only on Ave Maria for a few weeks before finding me, whereas I had been an active member for almost 5 years. I could have given up (and considered it) after the first year or second or fourth and determined that it didn’t work for me, but I felt that I had to continue to give it a chance so long as I was single. What if my wife was not yet on the site, and I needed to wait for her (which is exactly what happened)? So I encourage you to persevere with it.
I corresponded with many young women over those 5 years, investing hours upon hours to emails back and forth, traveling across the country multiple times to visit different young women only to discern that we were not “the one” for each other, so I understand how difficult it can be, and it is not for everyone, but I can tell you now that all of that time, expense, and effort was worth it!
It was a pleasure reading your article, Katie. My husband and I met on AMSCOL and ten years and three kids later, we are still thankful that we bit the bullet and tried internet dating. I have many other friends who have met online and are now married. I do also have friends who have tried, but no luck. However, a 40+ friend of mine was ready to give up after years of being online until she finally met her match and is now happily married. So don’t give up! The wait is worth it! 
Posted by Maria Therese on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 4:48 PM (EDT):
Katie, thank you for sharing your story! I remember reading your wonderful story on AMS and being so encouraged by it. When I was a single quickly approaching my forties with no prospects in sight, what encouraged me the most was my faith, devotion to the Blessed Mother, and praying the rosary.
I prayed the rosary for years asking Jesus and the Blessed Mother to help me find a good Catholic gentleman. I needed to wait several years, but the wait was worth it! I met a wonderful Catholic gentleman named Ed on another Catholic Singles website by the name of Catholic Match. We were married on June 16th, 2007, the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. We were in our early forties when we were married, but again the wait was worth it!
Ed and I are now enjoying married life and sharing our lives together. However our marriage has not been without some trials. Ed and I would dearly love to have children, but last year it was discovered after surgery to remove two ovarian cysts that I had stage 4 endometriosis. I already had one surgery and I’m due to have another surgery in just a few days on April 1st 2009. May I please ask for prayers? Thank you so much!
Singles? Looking for a good Catholic spouse? Ask Jesus and the Blessed Mother to help you find one and pray the rosary! It really works! And for those married, want a happy marriage? Pray the rosary together! I believe strongly that sharing the Catholic faith and praying the rosary together is the secret to a strong marriage!
May God Bless you all!
Love,
Maria Therese In Mass 
Posted by Jay on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 9:51 PM (EDT):
I enjoyed reading your story. My husband and I pray every day for our three siblings (early 30’s to 40) to find their spouses. I would love my BIL to find a great Catholic girl (become a revert:)) They are great people and it gives me encouragement to keep praying for them!
Posted by StephC on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 10:14 PM (EDT):
‘Nother AMS success story, here. (Funny how many of us follow F&FL;!)
Married 6 years this August with 2 precious wee souls asleep in their beds upstairs.
For those who are curious, go explore the site! Read those Succsss Stories! (Grab a Kleenex first…)
For those curious but too skeptical/cynical to peek, just think of it as yet one more channel through which the Holy Spirit may work.
I thought I was going to have to pioneer some type of “Catholic Speed Dating” in my home diocese when I stumbled across AMS’ site. 9 months 12 months later, he proposed.
I still pinch myself. Can’t believe what a blessed woman I am. And I didn’t even own a computer!
Posted by Angie on Tuesday, Mar 31, 2009 12:45 AM (EDT):
My husband and I also met on-line! We met on catholicmatch.com. We have been married almost 4years now and have just been blessed by our second child. We are both still in contact with some of the wonderful friends (who have also met their spouses) we made along the way. I didn’t realize how many of us there are! Thanks for sharing!
Posted by Paul Sofranko on Tuesday, Mar 31, 2009 8:15 AM (EDT):
My wife and I met each other online, too. (Only our success was at CatholicMatch.) We’ve been married one year on March 29th! Congratulations on your success!
Posted by Tina Denn Mom on Saturday, Apr 4, 2009 10:06 AM (EDT):
Thanks for sharing your story here! I admit to still being a little shy about telling people how my husband and I met, or explaining to people how I came to live in New York when I’m from the Midwest. We also met via Ave Maria Singles. Five and a half years and three kids later, we’re still going strong! It’s true that you can “cut to the chase” with online dating and meet someone quickly. But it’s another thing to “click” with someone who might look like a match on paper. In the end it’s all about prayer and God’s will. Thanks again and God bless!
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