In the Neighborhood
Posted by Danielle Bean in Family on Thursday, August 28, 2008 7:24 PM
A red car pulled into our driveway early this morning. I was heading out with the trash when our barking dog alerted me to this intrusion.
“Can I help you?” I asked the man who stood by his car, eying the dog warily.
“I’m lost,” he said. “I’m looking for the McClarens? They live on this road, I think.”
“Sorry, I don’t know them,” I told him.
It was true. The fact of the matter is, however, that the McClarens might very well live in the next house over. I don’t know them. We don’t know our neighbors. At all.
This is not an accident, of course. Like the steadfast New Englanders we are, Dan and I determined long ago that if we couldn’t choose our neighbors, we were better off not having any. So we built our house smack dab in the middle of our 10 acres. No neighbors.
But I grew up in a neighborhood—a real neighborhood—where dozens of kids would gather (usually at our house) after school and all day long throughout the summertime. We had clubs and mega-games of tag. Our parents would gather after dinner and chat while we ran and played until dark. We had FUN.
And so I wonder if my kids are missing out on something. It’s a nice, romantic notion to have a built in community of families like that. As it is for my family, though, we need to seek out opportunities to engage with the community at large. It just isn’t right outside our front door.
But in a world where my family tends to stand out for a number of different reasons, I wonder if it would not feel like life in a fishbowl if we lived in a neighborhood like the one I grew up in. Don’t tell the neighbors, but my kids sometimes make a lot of noise. And I am awfully fond of sending them outdoors to do that.
I also know that there can be a downside to neighbors you would rather not have—ones that might set a bad example for your kids or who are “in your business” more than you would like.
What do you think? Are “neighborhoods”—the kinds that are real communities—a thing of the past?
Do you know your neighbors? How do you live?
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