I've Got the Babyhood Blues
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:00 AM
Last night was one of those evenings with the baby that make me long for his toddler days.
I spent hours last night trying to put him to sleep or back to sleep. I started around 6:30pm. I think he slept a total of 45 minutes between then and 10:30.
The culprit is his reflux, which makes him uncomfortable and often wakes him when he’s been asleep for just a few minutes. Or it makes him so uncomfortable he won’t go to sleep at all. He wiggles and writhes and fusses and just when I’m at the end of my rope, he covers both of us with spit-up.
We’re doing everything we can for the reflux, including medicating. It should hopefully be over within a few months. We just have to get through it. But on nights like last night, perspective doesn’t necessarily make coping any easier.
Here’s the thing about motherhood: I mostly have the resources to handle it. Camilla is two-years-and-eight-months old, and for the vast majority of that time I’ve felt like I’m doing well and enjoying it. But it wasn’t until she was eight months old that I felt that way. Those first eight months I was barely keeping my head above water.
I thought it might be easier this time around, but it’s not really so far. And Blaise is a much more even-tempered baby than Camilla was. I guess I’m just one of those people who finds the infant stage very difficult.
It’s discouraging to me, because we’ve always said we’d like a big family. We’re possibly sub-fertile, but open to having as many children as God decides to send us. I love the idea of a big family, of a dozen children filling our house with craziness and laughter.
But the idea of making it through even a couple more infanthoods makes me want to cry. Like a baby.
There are many moms of big families among our readers here, and I am dying to know: how have you raised so many babies? Is there some kind of trick I haven’t picked up on yet that makes it easier?
I need some hope! Or some help! Or both!
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