Just You and Me
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Monday, February 14, 2011 10:27 PM
I’m 22 weeks pregnant, and the twins both kick me all the time now. It’s a constant reminder that in a few months, our lives are going to change drastically.
In preparation, we’re trying to live it up as much as we can. Bryan and I took a getaway weekend in January and plan to do another one as soon as we can. Since Camilla and Blaise can both behave civilly in public right now, we’re trying to take lots of outings with them. After the babies are born, there are not going to be many family dinners out!
Another thing we’ve gotten the chance to do in the past month: each spend a solo weekend with each kid.
In January, Camilla and I flew to Virginia to visit friends while Bryan and Blaise stayed home. This past weekend, Camilla and Bryan drove to northern Michigan to ski with his parents while Blaise and I stayed home.
This isn’t something we would have planned; ideally, we’d have taken the whole family on both trips, but various circumstances made that impossible. But what surprised my husband and me was how much we both enjoyed the weekends.
Normally when we’re all together, life feels a little hectic. It’s fine - it’s fun, in fact - but often by the time we have the kids in bed, Bryan and I collapse on the couch feeling like we’ve just had a hard workout. When we’re split up, the parent-to-child ratio is exactly the same, but somehow the responsibilities feel much lighter.
It’s true that without the children arguing or colluding to make messes, there is less parenting and less cleaning to do. But travelling makes more work than usual, and still, it all felt like a vacation.
I loved travelling with Camilla last month; it was a joy to be able to concentrate solely on her, and I could tell she loved it too. Bryan said that time one-on-one with Blaise was the most relaxing he’d had in a long time (except our getaway, of course).
This weekend Blaise and I had a grand time, building block castles and cuddling without his older sister around to boss the construction or ask for her turn on my lap. He missed Camilla (he asked for her at bedtime, aww) but the time together was really fun for both of us. Bryan and Camilla had even more fun on their trip, and came home happy and rejuvenated.
Honestly, it never would have occurred to me that splitting up the family for a weekend would be a good idea. But weirdly, it worked out beautifully for us, and I’m glad we got the opportunity to do it while it’s still possible. Once we have four kids, the one-to-one parent-to-kid ratio will be gone forever!
But I’m thinking ahead. For those of you who have more than two children and/or older children, I’m curious: do you put one-on-one parent-kid time into your schedule? Regularly, or on special occasions, or ever? Have you found it’s important and rewarding, or not so much? I’d love to hear thoughts on this!
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