Funny - I was just reading that while breastfeeding here at my office - hubby took the other kiddos to the YMCA and I am just getting ready to work on a little financial analysis of the business…maybe after that I will look for some meaningful work

I bet she was a real pain in the rear when she was at the office, too. 

I feel a lot worse for her kid, once he gets old enough to read about how infuriatingly burdensome he was, wanting to EAT and all.  I hope she hires a nice nanny soon, for the sake of the baby.

Why are feminists so anti-female?

Wanting children, but not wanting to spend the time to care for them is like wanting a career, but not wanting to go into the office.

I was able to relate to that article in the fact that it can be very uncomfortable for a mother to be out and about while breastfeeding.  Heck, I even hid in back rooms while feeding Princess while visiting family because they were uncomfortable with it.  I felt trapped.  And that was all before I even returned to work.

Amazingly I felt the most support AT work.  My boss was extremely understanding and I had an informal support group from the 3 other women I worked with that had also breastfed.

AND I know plenty of women that felt like mommy failures because they ended up using formula for one reason or another.

Maybe some points could have been presented better but I didn’t come away with the same impression that the point of “Rosin’s argument isn’t about breast milk vs formula; it’s about how women define themselves and attach meaning to their work.”  The article came off as pointing out that once again people have been quick to jump on a bandwagon, that medical ‘facts’ are being presented that aren’t truly as factual as we are lead to believe and women are being pressured into a certain method of parenting that doesn’t work for everyone.

I wrote about Rosin’s piece on my blog: http://tinyurl.com/ad7z6s ... Rosin’s looking for an unattainable ideal – a truly egalitarian marriage while her children are young. It’s not a manmade conspiracy that most of the heavy lifting involved in making babies falls to women. It’s just not biologically possible to split childrearing chores equally between the spouses. Does Rosin need to be reminded that this stage does not last forever and, hey, aren’t your kids worth it? Babies *are* inconvenient, something anyone with two older children would know. But to insinuate breastfeeding is a tool of the patriarchy to keep women down is a throwback argument. This article is what will set things back for breastfeeding women in the workplace.

Whoa.  Talk about a bitter woman.  She sounds like she would prefer to be a man.  I long ago realized that the “Enjoli” perfume commercials of my youth were lies.  A woman CAN do all things.  The question truly is whether or not she can do them all well.  I miss those days of close attachment to my children.  Maybe someday the woman who wrote this piece will see the gift she had.

I’m with you Danielle, I feel sorry for her.  She is obviously struggling with her nature—what is natural—and what is man-made—the work-force.
I can understand her struggle completely!  I have felt very frustrated with nursing at times—not about being “kept down” in the work world but not being able to tend to the things I wanted/needed to tend to—-the rest of the kids, the house, etc.  It is plain to see that she has no support group and does not know how (or why) to offer up her sacrifices.

I’ll pray for her tonight.

Honestly now, aren’t most of the companies that manufacture formula helmed by men?  So one could argue that men are trying to produce and market the alternative food for infants to free up a mother’s time and empty her pocketbook. 

Is breastmilk better for a baby than formula?  Of course, that is why formula is compared to breastmilk.  There are no pro-breastfeeding ads suggesting that breastmilk is almost (but not quite) as good as Similac or Enfamil.

The truth is that breastfeeding is hard.  There can definitely be rough patches.  It requires an immense amount of dedication and committment.  Tears will be shed, discomfort will be experienced and some days you will requestion your will to continue over and over.  Some women are not cut out for breastfeeding, whether because of physical issues or due to overall temperament (theirs or the baby’s); and that’s ok.  What’s important is that the mom is happy and the baby is well nourished and feels cherished and safe while being fed, whether in the arms of mom, dad or another competent caregiver.

I’m not exactly sure what medical literature this particular author is referring to.  As I study towards becoming a lactation consultant, the professional literature I read, (not just popular literature) including literature from the World Health Organization is pretty clear about the superiority of human milk over formula.  Even those of us who raise animals know that milk replacer is not a perfect substitute for the mother’s milk.  No formula can replicate the immune factors alone which are specific to that particular child at that particular point in their growth and that particular point in their environment.

That said, I do believe that women can be more than just homemakers and mothers.  It’s just that you can’t necessarily have it all at the same time.  No woman is going to be still nursing a baby in her late 50’s.  Most women won’t even be nursing babies in their late 40’s.  Given the fact that most of us will be productive well into our 70’s it seems to me that even women who have children late as well as early could still have a productive employed life after their kids no longer needed them as intensively as a newborn does.  There’s a book called Sequencing that actually addresses this issue quite well.

My own mother stayed home, worked with my father, and didn’t work at outside employment again until she was 61 She then worked for another 16 years at paid employment and later did volunteer work as well. 

Some mothers are able to combine breastfeeding and full-time employment, some do it because of financial necessity.  Other mothers are able and happy to stay home.  To see this as a lesser occupation is short sighted indeed.  Never have I had a greater opportunity for personal growth and use of my creativity than I did when my kids were young.  I was able to contribute to the community, I was able to enrich my children’s lives.  The fact that I didn’t receive a paycheck for my efforts didn’t in anyway lessen the importance of the jobs I did.  It’s very short sighted to think that any of us, male or female can actually be defined by how much someone is willing to pay us for the work we do.  Perhaps as more people who had high paying jobs suddenly find themselves unemployed or having to work at more menial jobs people will begin to realize that we shouldn’t be defining our worth by our paycheck.

As a former lay breastfeeding counselor, and mother of 6 breastfed children, I can only say that this particular woman is perpetuating some sad, tired ideas. Women are NOT “tied down” because of nursing. It is incredibly empowering to be able to nurture and nourish a baby, knowing our bodies can DO this, with God’s grace and amazing gifts….Our world is such a sad place sometimes, that something that is such a precious gift can be so belittled and downplayed. Yes, there are some women who cannot breastfeed, and it is sad for them and their babies. However, I know NO breastfeeding women who would be critical of that! Being around breastfeeding mothers was one of the most empowering things in my life. These women thrilled in their children, their ability to care for them, and truly cherished knowing they could do this for their babies. I pity those who are defensive and angry about not wanting to breastfeed. That is an entirely different situation.

This is going to sound really cheesy probably, but I’ve never felt more like a woman than when I was breastfeeding. Sheesh, what do people think breasts are for?

In reference to poster #12.  I love your comment.  God designed women with breasts for the porpose of nourishing our children; not filling out a sweater.  When I breastfeed my youngest (who is almost 11 months old) I feel amazed at the link I share with women all over the world- past, present and future.  I’ll snuggle my little on and think, “Once Mary held Jesus and caressed his small head and chubby fist as he nursed at her breast” and I feel so linked to Her as a woman and a mother.

I wouldn’t trade one mili-second of the time I spent breastfeeding my children for ANYTHING in the entire world! That is the most precious gift from God to a person—to be breastfed (which I was) and to breastfeed (which I have done for the past 13 years!)...I love your response, especially the last paragraph.

I once heard a woman ( Rhonda Chervin) on EWTN.  She was talking about how abortion is the ultimate rejection of motherhood.  She also said that the rejection of motherhood in our society began with the rejection of breastfeeding. (Note, by rejection of breastfeeding, she is not referring to women who were unable to breastfeed )

I agree with so many of the comments, esp. 12 & 13.  I’m nursing my 4 mo old as I type.  I have always felt that I was freer as a nursing mom - I can’t imagine lugging bottles around and prepping them for mid-night feedings.  Also, I know that the meaning of my work (nursing, diapering, homeschooling) must be interpreted in the light of the Gospel, not the culture. God will judge the meaning of our work, and we only dissapate our energies if we give anyone else that power over our choices.

I feel sorry for Rosin.  It sounds like she was too busy resenting her baby and husband to enjoy the wonderful experience of breastfeeding.  I’m still breastfeeding my 11 month old and when people ask (as people often do), when do I plan to stop, I plan to breast feed her until we’re both ready to wean.  Rosin’s comments make me wonder what kind of mother she is and what kind of wife. I feel sorry for her whole family.  You can bet we’ll be praying for the Rosin family tonight!  God bless!

I read her bit about waking during the night to breastfeed while her husband sleeps with some bemusement.  While my husband never wakes up for breastfeeding babies, there is an offical changeover of nighttime responsibility as soon as our children are nightweaned.

So I have a few weeks of nighttime diaper changes, a year and a bit of night nursing and then my husband deals with years worth of all the reasons for toddlers and young children to wake up during the night (wet beds and vomit being among the worst).  After ten plus years we’ve gotten to the point where I only wake up to the baby and the baby waking up is the only one my husband sleeps through.

That was a really sad article. I think it was less about breastfeeding then this particular author’s bitter attitude towards motherhood. Her poor kids. I’m sure she loves them but they seem like an accessory to her busy working ‘i’m just as good as a man!’ life.

I couldn’t believe she quoted Syd Spiesel. He is the pediatrician of choice for the extended nursing, homebirthing, non-vaccinating population of New Haven and surrounding towns.

This is the final paragraph of the paper quoted:

>>>>In the end, though, I find myself falling back on the same logic (or lack of logic) that appealed to me when my babies were born. Biologically speaking, it seems as if breast-feeding ought to be better for babies. At the same time, I am strongly convinced that there are two kinds of nutrition, physical and psychological, and that both are equally important. This conviction persuades me that it’s better for a mother to formula-feed her baby pleasurably than to breast-feed and hate it. Fortunately, the majority of mothers enjoy nursing. But not all. Some women don’t like to nurse, and others, even with the best help, find it physically difficult or daunting or intolerably uncomfortable. Sometimes, also, babies just aren’t good nursers. In the end, I always encourage a mother to choose the feeding method that is most satisfying to her.<<<

I think everyone can get behind the phrase I bolded (or tried to). That conclusion is not what the author was driving at. For her, it seemed, that breastfeeding wasn’t worth the sacrifice to her not that she hated it, or was unable to, or her babies weren’t thriving. She just had better things to do.

I read the article and I can relate to her point of view.  There are people out there who really believe that breastfeeding will produce the “uber” child.  It simply is not true.  My dear friend didn’t breastfeed her children and she confided to me that she would have felt better if she just lit up a cigarette in public than pull out a bottle to feed her infant.  There is that much pressure to breastfeed!  Not every mom feels comfortable doing it, and I think too many upper middle class college educated women put too much emphasis on breast feeding, turning it into a moral matter when it is simply a way to feed a baby.  Is it better than bottle feeding?  Probably, but eating fresh food is better than fast food, but eating is better than starving.  By the way, I believed all the hype when I breastfed all my children.  Yes, they were going to be brilliant, and not fat and read at 4 and have advanced fine motor skills and be exposed to all different tastes through my breast milk.  But the fact was, I liked breastfeeding and did it because it was easy and convenient to me, and my babies seemed to like it.

This topic is very near and dear to me! I am a mother of three who has tried very hard to breastfeed all of my children, but simply cannot supply enough. I completely agree that breastfeeding is best….but, as in my case, not always possible.

As pointed out, Rosin is not discussing breastfeeding; her topic is merely masked under the heading of breastfeeding. With that said there is another culture out there that makes one feel awful for formula feeding. I have met with every lactation consultant I could find, read numerous books, took every herb consultants suggested, bought a hospital grade breast pump and pumped every 3 hours for months and months…. and still the results were disappointing. Time and time again (even in church) I am constantly asked why I am not breastfeeding and is I would only do (insert advice) then I could probably succeed. For mothers who do not breastfeed the pressure is just as strong. Today’s current thought is good mothering = breastfeeding.

I think its interesting that formula mothers feel pressure to breast feed. I am the only breast feeder in my family, and they all make fun of me. I don’t care, but if I was less secure, I might.

Mothers are “tied” to feeding their baby any way you look at it - either feeding them with our breasts, or earning the money needed to buy formula. Either way, we are working to feed them. Rosin chooses to be “tied” to her job instead of her baby. I choose differently. She feels her job is meaningful, I feel that feeding my baby with my body is meaningful. I can’t help but feel sorry for her, but I guess she feels sorry for me, too…

One thing that I find interesting about all of this - so often the world tries to convince us that we are just animals - we can’t control our urges, we are products of evolution, etc. Yet when it comes to mothering and gender roles in general, we are supposed to be completely different from animals, and live in a way that denies our biological design. Interesting…

I saw some good rebuttals on the medical research side of this article here: http://breastfeeding.blog.motherwear.com/2009/03/the-case-against-breastfeeding-a-response.html, if anyone is interested.

I can see both sides of the issue, but I don’t like that she seems so biased on her selection of studies for the medical benefits. There are a number of women who can’t breastfeed and we should support them in whatever way helps them the most, but I think it’s a disservice to our children to decide whether to breastfeed based on inaccurate data. Especially when those first few weeks can be so difficult! (Ask me how I know.)

I did not read the article, but I did see this woman on the Today show this morning.  From what I gathered from the interview, Rosin was not saying that breastfeeding is bad, but that woman who can’t (or choose not to) breastfeed shouldn’t be treated as if they are second rate parents.

I really liked the Rosin article, actually.  And before you ask: yes, I am someone who breastfed my kids and would do it again.

To me, she’s really talking about the unreasonable pressure to be the “perfect mom”—which, these days, happens to include nursing.  Let’s face it; there are just some women who cannot breastfeed, for health or emotional reasons.  Or practical reasons!

What really made the breastfeeding stop was having to return to my job.  And I tried; boy, did I try.  Heck, I toted that dang pump around with me for weeks after the birth of both of my kids, and I was always ducking into the bathroom to use it.  Complicating the fact is that I’m a teacher, so I had to work the pumping in during my prep period or lunch (and trust me, there are times when I was in front of my kiddos so uncomfortably full that I could practically feel the mastitis setting in).  I gave it up after a few weeks of some of the most stress I’ve ever felt in my life.  “But formula is going to be so expensive!” I told my husband, whereupon he responded with, “Yes, but your mental health is worth something, too.”  He was right.  Bring on the formula!

I say all of this because the LAST thing I needed was for someone to make me feel guilty for not trying to continue breastfeeding.  If they had, I probably would have decked them with my Pump In Style. 

So Rosin’s article spoke to me.  Maybe it doesn’t speak as strongly to women who don’t work outside the home and don’t have to face the pumping thing. 

Oh, and I think it’s absolutely critical to have a pediatrician who cares not only about the baby, but about the mental health of the mother.  Ours does, thankfully (and he has seen me cry in the office about nursing issues).  His classic line?  “My mom smoked, drank, and fed me with a bottle, and I still made it through medical school.”

Not that I’m advocating smoking or drinking ... but you get the point.

Wow!  Can I just say, I don’t know where you are all from, but the part of Ohio I live in, i can count the times I have EVER seen another breastfeeding mother.  Besides ONE friend of mine that I go to the park with, I have only ever seen 2 other women breastfeed.  I always feel like the outcast.  It seems the mainstream thing around here is formula.  I am quite surprised (pleasantly) that there would be enough breastfeeders out there concentrated in one playground to even make this into an article.

Some here say they feel overwhelming pressure to breastfeed and some say they feel like they odd one out for breastfeeding.  I think it depends a lot on demographics.  Breastfeeders are often come from a middle to upper-middle class colleged-educated social strata and bottle- feeders often come from middle to lower-middle class social strata.  The point is, whatever you do, breastfeed or not, you shouldn’t be doing something or not doing something because you feel pressured.  You should be doing what works best in your situation like anything else that has to do with parenting.  Don’t make comments or ask about other moms’ decisions and don’t pay attention to others’ comments to you.  And don’t worry about whether it seems like you are the only one bottle-feeding or breast-feeding.  It’s no one else’s business.

Over the years the pendulum swings from one school of thought to another because as soon as everyone gets on the bandwagon and starts pressuring others there is a backlash and it swings in the other direction.  The only way to prevent the backlash is to stop telling each other what to do.

One of ours was bottle fed one breast fed because that was what the circumstances allowed.  I felt no less of a mother either time.  Anyone who had opinions - thay had them but I didn’t care as I was doing what my children needed.
MM said it well above so I’ll just second her.

” In the end, I always encourage a mother to choose the feeding method that is most satisfying to her.”

  This part makes it sound like feeding the baby is all about the mother - what about the baby???

One thing is for certain - breastfeeding does eliminate the ‘flat head syndrome’ that we’re seeing in LOTS of babies.  So much easier to keep that baby in the car seat and prop the bottle up.  Then the parent can do what she or he wants!  Feeding a baby is about so much more than just nutrition.  Out of 8 kids, only 2 had bottles and I felt wayyyyy more tied down to those - goodness, the washing, the measuring, the sterilizing, the bringing all sorts of bottles and formula wherever we went…  And I do remember propping up bottles at times so I could DO something.  yikes.  It’s amazing how much more I could DO while breastfeeding!  (especially with those wonderful Moby Wraps)

I blogged about this subject too. I agree with the statement that we need to stop telling each other what to do. We need to follow Danielle Bean’s advice and “Do what works.” I remember when my daughter was born and my mother (who breastfed) told me that her mother (who hadn’t) would ask whenever one of us was fussy as an infant “Do you think they need to nurse?” which annoyed my mother to no end.

Arwen’s piece last week about doing what works for us, also brought out the idea of being confident in our decisions. Moms who are confident that what they are doing is right regardless are more able to shrug off the opinions of others and stick with whatever decision is made.

That being said, it’s difficult to always be so sure that what we are doing is right. After all, I survived infancy in a crib with blankets while lying on my stomach for sleep, didn’t seem like a bad thing then. Now we know SIDS can be prevented by back sleeping. So what’s the mom to do who is following the back sleeping advice but has a baby who rolls early and won’t sleep anywhere but her stomach? While this info is different from breastfeeding, we are all susceptible on some level to post-partum doubt about our choices, especially with first babies.

In my blog I discuss a co-worker who could not breastfeed because of a rare condition and was ostracized by the breastfeeding support group she had joined before giving birth (not LLL). We need to give each other a break and not judge one another on decisions that are personal and may be best for the family involved, although not for your family.

We also need to accept, as this mother I wrote about was forced to before she was ready, that motherhood can be a lot of unexpected twists and turns and sometimes, we need to be willing to give up our ideal for something more beneficial. In this woman’s case, she had to give up an unmedicated birth when she failed to dilate and had to have a c-section and had to go to formula after it was discovered that her daughter was allergic to breast milk (again rare, but it had happened).

I believe there is a strong correlation between home schoolers and breastfeeding. (I say this to those women here who posted that they never run into breastfeeders. If you hang out with the homeschooling crowd, that will change.)

I quit pumping (I never breastfed directly) after 2.5 months. My child never latched and I couldn’t emotionally handle it. I was upset that he never latched, I had been off ADD meds for 2 years in order to safely get pregnanant and then be pregnant, and I was emotionally suffering for it.

Also, while pregnant, I felt badgered and pressured by all the breastfeeding do-gooders that I HAD to breastfeed, when really, all along, I had mixed feelings about it. I vividly recall at the hospital saying I would try breastfeeding, when I knew in my heart that while it was going to be good for the baby, I strongly suspected that I was not truly wanting to do it.

All the breastfeeding women I knew were vehemently PRO breastfeeding - they talked to me about breastfeeding in a way that was so strong that they likely turned me off before I even had the baby. Sometimes when people pressure you to that extent, they are really having the opposite effect.

I just have to pop in here to say that I know MANY moms who breastfeed/breastfed who don’t homeschool.  In fact, all my sil’s breastfed their babies & NONE of them are homeschoolers.  Not sure where that all came from but I just had to say that it’s NOT only homeschoolers who are pro-breastfeeding.  I breastfed all my babies & loved every single minute of it (after the first month of torture was past!).

As a woman who is currently breastfeeding my 1st child, I can relate to some things she says.  It all boils down to one thing.  What is more important?  My instant gratification, or the needs of my helpless son?

I have spent countless hours sitting in back rooms comfortably nursing my easily distracted son.  I would nurse with a cover in front of others, but my son won’t have it so we find a quiet place and nurse.  I have battled constantly with listening to everyone having fun, laughing, joking without me.  I often want to interject a witty comment or perfectly timed joke, but I can’t with a baby on the breast. 

So what decision do I make?  Do I selfishly rush my son along and decide that he “must be full by now!” or do I patiently wait for him to finish and then re-enter social situations?  I wish I had chosen the latter more often, but sadly, that is not the case.  I recognize my own selfish behavior as not being in the best interest of my son though and often run back into the back room moments after leaving it and hope that no one points out how erratic I’m behaving!

Hannah Rosin is highlighting the fact that her children prevented her from doing the things she would prefer to do.  Parenthood is sacrifice.  It is not a right of passage.  As I read the article, I heard the most selfish part of my body loudly agreeing with everything she said.  However, if I keep a positive attitude and continue to remind myself of all the years I dreamt of having my own children, then I truly can give myself fully to my child.  It’s not easy, but when has anything truly gratifying been easy?!?!

I am pro breastfeeding and for my three kids it was very easy for me to do. However I get fed up with breast feeding zealots. I have known several women who have had no luck with breastfeeding despite their best intentions and have got stupid and cruel remarks from other women who think it is their duty to thrust breast feeding onto other mothers

If breastfeeding works for you, that is great and if not thank God we are in affluent countries where good hygiene prevails, we have access to clean water and the formula is usually good so you can feed your baby on it

It seems to me that one issue that is at stake here is a question of truth.  Can babies be raised safely on formula?  In the developed world, most of the time the answer is yes.  Will they be apt to have more health issues than breastfed babies on average?  Once again the answer is yes.  Human milk was designed by the creator for human babies.  Manufactured formulas are second best.  To say breast is best is simply to state the truth.  Are there mothers who are unable to nurse their babies due to problems with their own anatomy or their baby’s?  Unfortunately, sometimes the answer is yes.  Are there many mothers who had failed attempts at lactation due to poor information or lousy hospital policies?  Again the answer is yes.  Are there mothers who succeed at nursing a later baby and regret their lack of success with an earlier baby?  Once again the answer is yes.  Are there mothers who for what ever reason are disgusted at the very idea of nursing a baby?  Sadly, again the answer is yes.  Are there mothers who are in employment situations because of economic situations that make breastfeeding difficult if not impossible?  The fact is that there are, although some states are passing laws to make combining breastfeeding with working easier.

So all those truths go together to make up a far more complex situation than sometimes we wish to acknowledge.  Mothers who bottle feed sometimes feel defensive, but so do mothers who nurse their babies.  I don’t believe that any mother whose situation makes it impossible to nurse her baby should feel guilty about that.  She may feel saddened by it, but guilt is for situations where you willingly are doing something wrong.  A mother who chooses not to nurse her baby for selfish reasons (like not wanting her sleep disturbed or her high power /high paying career interrupted) may be justified in having guilt feelings.  I don’t think every bottle feeding mother should feel guilty, but at he same time it isn’t accurate to say that formula is just as good as human milk.  It’s too bad if acknowledging that piece of information makes some mothers feel uncomfortable.  The problem is that there is still a large segment of the population that have bought into the notion that formula is just as good and as a result babies who could be receiving human milk aren’t and the trend has spread into parts of the world where survival may in fact depend on babies receiving their mother’s milk. Consequently there is an educational campaign out there among health providers, government agencies, and other groups that care about the health of babies to try to educate people about the importance of human milk for human babies.

If those who have the best information are advocating for babies in a way that makes some mothers feel guilty that’s unfortunate.  However, those mothers need to examine their own lives and see whether guilt is really the emotion they should be feeling.  Regret, sadness, frustration, may all be appropriate emotions, but if you’ve done your very best than guilt is not.

Liz, that was very well said. Thank you!

Liz,
Tell me what health issues I have because I was on formula in 1969.

Interesting.  I say that because I’ve read all the things from the WHO that recommend breastfeeding until at least 2, as it provides baby with antibodies, is a comfort for the baby, and of course the nutrition.  Not to mention the health benefits for the mother.  Now, I know some women cannot breastfeed, and I think it’s wonderful that we have formula (or milk banks) for them.  I personally can’t imagine not breastfeeding my son (he’s 15 months old now). 
As for feeling like she can’t get up or do anything because of breastfeeding, it is entirely possible to breastfeed and do other things.  When my son was really little, I took him to work with me (I worked part-time doing clerical work), and would feed him in the office with a cover (until he started pulling the cover away).  I no longer work, true, but I can feed him in a carrier if needed, which allows me to have a hand free.  Some workplaces are allowing women to bring their children in with them so that they can continue breastfeeding.  And even without a nursing cover, I’ve never gotten rude comments about feeding my son in public.  Probably because most people can’t tell what I’m doing.

It really doesn’t have to be all or nothing either with breastfeeding (providing the woman is physically able to breastfeed to start with).  When I worked almost fulltime with my 1st baby, I didn’t know a single person who breastfed and didn’t consider pumping.  But I would nurse baby in the morning and then the eve and night time hours.  He’d get formula during the hours that I was at work.  We both got the contact and other benefits of breastfeeding when we were together.  but how I hated cleaning those bottles, finding old one in the car/diaper bag, etc.  when I didn’t have to work anymore with our 3rd child I felt so free to exclusively breastfeed him.

” it was not the vacuum that was keeping me and my 21st-century sisters down, but another sucking sound.”—My husband pointed out there IS a sucking sound keeping these feminists “down” and it is, sadly, and horribly - the abortion industry!

This is a shocking article, to me - who has worked on and off through 15 years of marriage, happily breastfed, and unable to with our now 1 year old - but have pumped the entire time for him.  I would rather breastfeed than use this machine (currently pumping! ) or mix up formula (which I KNOW is much needed sometimes…)  We really have our priorities mix-up when we find ourselves angry with our husbands for going off to work (I am sure many would love to stay home) and calling ourselves somehow shackled!

God forgive us!

I sent off a long comment that hasn’t shown up yet, but I should have also said

I need the practice in keeping my mouth shut, because sometimes it is the hardest thing in the world to do.

Wow: I know I’m coming to this topic late, but am just catching up on this site.  I feel like I’m reading the “Lost” blog with so many posts and such strong opinions!  Anyway, I’m sure I will reiterate what others have said.  I strongly disagree with the point of this article.  I am a full time working mom and I breastfed both of my babies for over a year each.  I was lucky to stay at home for the first 4 months on maternity leave.  Maybe it was because I always knew I was going back to work, but I did not resent one minute of breastfeeding during those first few months.  And I did it “on demand” no schedule.  During the evenings I used to “power nurse” as my hubby called, basically sitting in the rocker in the kitchen for a few hours constantly nursing, with very short breaks.  That was our trick to get the baby to sleep longer and better—and my husband still recommends it to new moms.  I felt that while I was home on leave that it was my main job to fatten that baby up—what a luxury to get to focus solely on bonding for a few months.  Eventually they both set their own schedules and went to normal feeding routines.  The author talks about freedom vs. the “slavery” of nursing.  Others on this site talk about having to go to another room to nurse.  I say: forget it!  If you are a nursing mom, nurse your baby wherever you need to!  I refuse to believe that you can’t be on the go just because you are nursing.  If other people are uncomfortable about it, that’s their problem: particularly in your own home.  Other aspects of the liberation: a good breast pump and a bottle that your baby will take.  Any nursing mom should give her baby a bottle (of breast milk) at least once a day so she can have a break.  Those of us who are blessed with good supply can store up a “stash” which will allow us to go back to work, or even just to go out to lunch with a girlfriend.  My oldest only ever had breatmilk until he was one—and I was working full time.  I pumped 4 times a day, twice at work and twice at home.  Now I am not morally opposed to formula, especially for babies over 6 months old.  My oldest is extremely allergic to dairy and simply couldn’t have any kind of formula.  I did use formula for my younger son, just during the day while I was at work, after he turned 7 months.  This was because I found that after a while pumping was just taking too much time and detracted from my time at work and with my family.  So you can see that I’m staunchly pro-nursing, even though I’m not a stay at home mom.  But that’s because it worked great for me and my family.  It should be a choice that every family should make.  I pray that every new mom at least gives it a good try, and does not give up too early.  Yes, the first few weeks are incredibly hard, and I’m sure many of us were tempted to give up at first.  But hopefully moms who struggle to breastfeed will try to get some advice, and if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.  Formula is FINE!  But nursing is good for baby AND good for mom, and in no way is it “slavery.”  I think that author was suffering from depression if she really felt that strongly resentful of her baby.  She shouldn’t blame it on nursing.

Erin,

I agree with almost all you say.  I personally don’t see the need of saying a woman *should* pump and give a bottle at least once a day.  If she wants to do so, that’s perfectly fine, I’ve just never felt the need (I feed completely on demand, and he’s also a comfort nurser).  But if a woman feels like she needs a break, then yes, that’s a good way to do it.  So not a major disagreement with what you’re saying, just more of a clarification to do what works for her and the family & baby.

My MIL breastfed all 5 of hers, all while working full-time while my FIL stayed home with the kids.  It definitely can be done!

Susan, YES, I agree.  Didn’t mean to sound so authoritative, really just a suggestion for any mom who feels like she’s losing her “freedom” being “tied” to nursing, like this author expressed.  My point really was that moms who choose or need to work outside the house can realize that they don’t have to give up nursing when they go back to work.  Being separated from baby 8 or 9 hours a day means that you are still with baby all of those other hours, and can still enjoy several feedings a day.  And you are right, whatever works!  Articles like this one suggest that women are being forced or pressured into breastfeeding against their will.  I’m happy that women are being encouraged to breastfeed and supported in their choice to do so—and I don’t think that encouragement and support are the same as force or pressure.  Sometimes a brand new mom really needs STRONG encouragement (which may come across as pressure).  I know I did, and I’m so glad that the nurses, lactation consultant and even my mom kept asking me to give it one more try before Evan finally latched on and my milk came in on day 5 after his birth.  After that, it was so much easier.  Anyway, thanks for your response.

Erin - Oh yes, definitely agree.

Charlotte, We probably will never know in an individual case what the health consequences were (except in those cases where formula was deficient in something like chlorine as happened at one point, or had toxic ingredients added as in China last year).  The studies are based on populations and there’s no real way to tell with an individual absent some gross problem with the formula.  However, some of the possibilities are an increased chance of breast cancer, an increased risk of MS, an increased risk of Type 1 diabetes, possibly an increased risk of elevated cholesterol, an increased risk of allergies, an increased risk of visual problems, poorer cognitive development, an increased risk of orthodontic problems, an increased risk of some Crohn’s disease.  The list goes on and on.  In the third world babies are at incredible risk for a lethal case of enteritis and even in the developed world formula fed babies are at an increased risk for RSV and SIDS among other things.

I was a formula fed baby myself as was my sister and my husband and his siblings.  Most of us faired moderately well, but my brother-in-law developed juvenile diabetes before he was 11 and I have had some fairly serious allergy and asthma problems never seen in my parents generation at all (all breastfed babies).  My cousin nearly died before they found a formula (extremely expensive) that she could tolerate after her mother decided not to breastfeed her. 

I’m not claiming that all breastfed babies are super babies either physically or mentally.  The only point that is being made is that formula is a breastmilk substitute and it’s a substitute that can never quite replicate the original.

I suspect that some day they will manage to create an artificial womb that will allow women to not go through the bother and inconvenience of pregnancy.  It will be a boon to those babies who are born to early to survive outside of the womb, but it will bring with it its own set of problems and it will never really replace mom.  Those women who want to have it all will see it as a real progressive thing.  Those of us who believe that God designed us as fearfully and wonderfully made and that the miracle of our creation includes our ability to bear and feed our babies will see it as just another step in the dehumanizing process.

The studies that Rosin quotes were not the most recent, and the more recent studies have been subjected to very rigorous scientific standards.  Mothers certainly can bottle feed their babies and have them grow up to adulthood.  Most of my generation was bottle fed on formula that was far less modified than what bottle fed babies receive today.  The only point that I was trying to make is that formula is not and probably never can be the same as human milk.  Whether a mother chooses to bottle feed is certainly a decision that only she and her husband can make.  I simply believe that it’s a decision to be made with all of the facts in front of you, not a decision based on perceived convenience at the time.

I will grant anyone that the first few weeks of breastfeeding are more demanding of a mother than the first few weeks of bottle feeding.  The true convenience of breastfeeding doesn’t really begin to be seen until the baby is nursing well and your milk supply is regulated.  After that nursing is far more convenient than formula, to say nothing of a whole lot cheaper.  Unfortunately, there is very little good support for those early weeks for a goodly number of mothers.  At the same moment that she’s feeling the most vulnerable and discouraged there is a free sample of formula and formula coupons to make bottle feeding look most attractive.  Later on there will be no free formula and you’ll pay full price for it, but by then breastfeeding will have been left far behind.

The educational campaign that WHO and the U.S. Dept. of Health are engaged in is seeking to both inform women of the value of human milk to their infants and to insure that hospital and other societal policies actually facilitate breastfeeding instead of impeding it.  Even a little breastfeeding is better than none, for both the mother and the baby.  Consequently, many hospitals are fairly aggressive in encouraging mothers to at least attempt breastfeeding.  After all the bottles and the formula will always be there, but initiating breastfeeding weeks later, while not impossible, will be far more difficult than beginning at the beginning. 

This truly shouldn’t be about whether a mother can adequately mother her baby without breastfeeding.  We should be able to hear facts about the composition of breastmilk without bristling and feeling attacked because we weren’t breastfed ourselves or because we chose to feed our babies by bottle.