You are so right about it being bittersweet.  My children are 15, 11, &5;.  It is exciting to see them spread their wings and fly (especially with my 11yo because she had such separation issues and made the first few years of school trying), but on the other hand I find myself sad at times because it is all going too fast.

While I was bemoaning my oldest turning 18 soon (going to college 1500 mi away from home & such), someone said to me that it’s like watching a fish swim in the ocean.  But that the tide, in the end, always has a way of bringing them back.  I’m not sure yet if that thought is going to help me but it sure does make me think about holding onto the simpler joys that my younger kids bring to my life in a different way (youngest is almost 3).  When I think about ds1 being that young, it seems literally like just a few months ago…and I can’t believe that it’s been 15 yrs!  I know they are only “on loan” to me from God but I still don’t know how my old mom heart will be when he actually moves out…he is, after all, still my “baby” (and he knows it…he’s not happy about it, thinks I’m a big sap about it but he does know & accept it).  ; )

My daughter is similar to Camilla in the need for touch and holding. She still needs it at almost 10 months, and I know I will miss it when she becomes more independent. But I am also looking forward to the day when I can leave the house for just an hour or two without her. I probably could do it now, since she is turning into a major daddy’s girl, but daddy doesn’t have any milk

My oldest is 19 and graduated last year. He took an emergency medical technician course and is now working as an EMT for an ambulance service.  The really neat thing is that every step of the way he has called me on the phone to tell me of his own small successes.
“Mom, I got into the EMT program.”
“Mom I got the job.”
“Mom I need new black pants for work!”

OK the last one was pretty familiar but it’s nice that as he goes out into the world I’m still one of the first people he calls to share with!

I think as moms the 1st one is about survival and we forget to grab on to all the 1sts. I have found with #2 (9 months old today!!! I’m mourning how fast, she has now been outside my womb as long as she was inside it - a hard milestone to accept) I savor and “get” all these moments more. Each baby reminds us of the quick changes life brings.

Thanks for reminding me today!

Oh, Arwen. This brought tears to my eyes. I’m sitting here nursing my little one while my formerly needy girl falls asleep down the hall in her own room. It’s the very definition of bittersweet.

I’ve found the same thing with #2, though both my babies were much easier than Camilla!  I’m so much more willing to cuddle this baby in bed with me, so less likely to worry about starting habits I don’t want to continue, because that first little baby (now 2) would far rather run away than cuddle most days.

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