The Magazine and Daily Blog of Catholic Living
Faith & Family Live is where everyday moms offer one another inspiration, support, and
encouragement in Catholic living. Anyone grappling with the meaning of life or the cleaning of laundry is
welcome here. Read the blog, check out our magazine, join our community, learn more
about our mission, and come on in! READ MORE
Meet the Faith & Family bloggers. We invite you to join us in encouraging and helping the Faith & Family community grow in faith!
Danielle Bean
Danielle Bean, a mother of eight, is Editorial Director of Faith & Family. She is author of My Cup of Tea, Mom to Mom, Day to Day, and most recently Small Steps for Catholic Moms. Though she once struggled to separate her life and her work, the two …
Read My Posts
Rachel Balducci
Rachel Balducci is married to Paul and they are the parents of five lively boys and one precious baby girl. She is the author of How Do You Tuck In A Superhero?, and is a newspaper columnist for the Diocese of Savannah, Georgia. For the past four years, she has …
Read My Posts
Lisa Hendey
Lisa Hendey is the founder and editor of CatholicMom.com, a Catholic web site focusing on the Catholic faith, Catholic parenting and family life, and Catholic cultural topics. Most recently she has authored The Handbook for Catholic Moms. Lisa is also employed as webmaster for her parish web sites. …
Read My Posts
Arwen Mosher
Arwen Mosher lives in southeastern Michigan with her husband Bryan and their young children Camilla and Blaise. She has a bachelor's degree in theology. She dreads laundry, craves sleep, loves to read novels and do logic puzzles, and can't live without tea. Her personal blog site is ABC Family. …
Read My Posts
Rebecca Teti
Rebecca Teti is married to Dennis and has four children (3 boys, 1 girl) who -- like yours no doubt -- are pious and kind, gorgeous, and can spin flax into gold. A Washington, DC, native, she converted to Catholicism while an undergrad at the U. Dallas, where she double-majored in …
Read My Posts
Robyn Lee
Robyn Lee is the managing editor of Faith & Family magazine. She is (yikes!) an almost 30 year-old, single lady, living in Connecticut with her two cousins in a small bungalow-style kit house built by her great uncle in the 1950s. She also conveniently lives next door to her sister, brother-in-law …
Read My Posts
Hallie Lord
Hallie Lord married her dashing husband, Dan, in the fall of 2001 (the same year, coincidentally, that she joyfully converted to the Catholic faith). They now happily reside in the deep South with their two energetic boys and two very sassy girls. In her *ample* spare time, Hallie enjoys cheap wine, …
Read My Posts
Fr John Bartunek, LC, STL, received his BA in History from Stanford University in 1990, graduating Phi Beta Kappa. He comes from an evangelical Christian background and became a member of the Catholic Church in 1991. After college he worked as a high school history teacher, drama director, and …
Read My Posts
Kate Lloyd
Kate Lloyd is a rising senior, and a political science major at Thomas More College of Liberal Arts in New Hampshire. While not in school, she lives in Whitehall PA, with her mom, dad, five sisters and little brother. She needs someone to write a piece about how it's possible to …
Read My Posts
Elizabeth Foss
Elizabeth Foss, an award winning columnist for the Arlington Catholic Herald, published her first book, Real Learning: Education in the Heart of My Home in 2003. The book is now in its third printing. Her popular blog, In the Heart of My Home is a source of inspiration and support for Catholic women …
Read My Posts
advice | discussion | coffee talk | parenting | sharing | love | fun | prayer | family | summer | relationships | children | recipes | cleaning | moms | school | marriage | couples | travel | tips | humor | links | education | housekeeping | books | laundry | fertility | teens | podcast | food | homeschool | small successes | learning | sex | encouragement | nfp | husband | teach | mothers | wife | music | novena | babies | challenges | community | pregnancy | experiences | st isidore | faith | college | kids | support | videos | video | priests | conferences | news | movies | traditions | fashion | procreation | benedict xvi | family life | boys | time management | spouse | writing | pro-life | grace | technology | dating | clothing | motherhood | saints | toys | friends | internet | romance | culture | toddlers | homemaking | questions | safety | cooking | recipe | vocations | style | charity | work | help | evangelization | health | teaching | television | theology of the body | baby | time | reviews | play | breastfeeding |
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Thursday, March 26, 2009 9:00 AM
I love being a mother, but there are some aspects of it which I did not anticipate before Camilla was born.
For instance, I did not realize just how much a baby would NEED me.
Camilla nursed every hour and a half. She would only sleep at night on my arm. She had such severe separation anxiety that I couldn’t leave her with Bryan and go to the bathroom without having to listen to her wail.
It was all worth it, you understand, but it was still draining at times. There was part of me that couldn’t wait for my daughter to grow up and stop needing me quite so much.
As Camilla got older, she got over her separation anxiety, she moved to her own sleeping space, and she weaned. In October right after her second birthday I left her with Bryan for a weekend retreat and she was fine. At Thanksgiving we left her overnight at my parents’ house and she was fine. At her own pace she has gained a fair amount of independence.
This has been a relief in many ways, but oddly, I haven’t loved it as much as I expected I would. It’s bittersweet to watch my little girl change so fast. During my pregnancy with Blaise, I found myself looking forward to again having a little one who would depend on me so fully, who would need all the little things that a mother can offer.
Having a new baby is exhausting, of course, but this time around I find that I am better able to treasure the time I have with Blaise while he is tiny. In fact, I sometimes find myself snuggling down with him on my arm after a nighttime feeding. Not because he needs it - he is a much easier baby than Camilla and will sleep in his crib just fine - but because I love having his small, cuddly body to hold.
This time around, I realize how quickly it will pass.
Two weeks ago, my sister drove down from my parents’ house to visit for a couple days. On Thursday she was heading back, but we’d see her again on Friday, as we were going up there for the weekend.
Camilla loves my sister and did not want her to leave, so I casually suggested that she go along and spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I expected Camilla to balk, but she jumped up and went to go find her sleeping bag.
An hour later, I was standing at the door watching her walk to the car. She was holding my sister’s hand and chattering excitedly about her trip. I called goodbye to her, and she barely turned around to wave a hand at me. Such a big girl.
I went back inside to feed the baby. I held him extra close while I was doing it.
Page 1 of 1 pages
You are so right about it being bittersweet. My children are 15, 11, &5;. It is exciting to see them spread their wings and fly (especially with my 11yo because she had such separation issues and made the first few years of school trying), but on the other hand I find myself sad at times because it is all going too fast.
While I was bemoaning my oldest turning 18 soon (going to college 1500 mi away from home & such), someone said to me that it’s like watching a fish swim in the ocean. But that the tide, in the end, always has a way of bringing them back. I’m not sure yet if that thought is going to help me but it sure does make me think about holding onto the simpler joys that my younger kids bring to my life in a different way (youngest is almost 3). When I think about ds1 being that young, it seems literally like just a few months ago…and I can’t believe that it’s been 15 yrs! I know they are only “on loan” to me from God but I still don’t know how my old mom heart will be when he actually moves out…he is, after all, still my “baby” (and he knows it…he’s not happy about it, thinks I’m a big sap about it but he does know & accept it). ; )
My daughter is similar to Camilla in the need for touch and holding. She still needs it at almost 10 months, and I know I will miss it when she becomes more independent. But I am also looking forward to the day when I can leave the house for just an hour or two without her. I probably could do it now, since she is turning into a major daddy’s girl, but daddy doesn’t have any milk 
My oldest is 19 and graduated last year. He took an emergency medical technician course and is now working as an EMT for an ambulance service. The really neat thing is that every step of the way he has called me on the phone to tell me of his own small successes.
“Mom, I got into the EMT program.”
“Mom I got the job.”
“Mom I need new black pants for work!”
OK the last one was pretty familiar but it’s nice that as he goes out into the world I’m still one of the first people he calls to share with!
I think as moms the 1st one is about survival and we forget to grab on to all the 1sts. I have found with #2 (9 months old today!!! I’m mourning how fast, she has now been outside my womb as long as she was inside it - a hard milestone to accept) I savor and “get” all these moments more. Each baby reminds us of the quick changes life brings.
Thanks for reminding me today!
I’ve found the same thing with #2, though both my babies were much easier than Camilla! I’m so much more willing to cuddle this baby in bed with me, so less likely to worry about starting habits I don’t want to continue, because that first little baby (now 2) would far rather run away than cuddle most days.
Very interesting as well as informative post.Thanks for providing for us.I read your article with my pleasure.
By submitting this form, you give Faith And Family Magazine permission to publish this comment. Comments will be published at our discretion, and may be edited for clarity and length. For best formatting, please limit your response to one paragraph and don't hit "enter" to force line breaks.
Print Blog
Email a Friend