Print Blog
Email a FriendDuring Advent and Christmas, as a family we used Sarah Reinhard’s Welcome Baby Jesus. We gathered as a family during breakfast and read scripture and then followed along in the book. Then while doing our nightly prayers we used the book again to review how well we had done “acting”. All four of my children aged 6-17 took part in this and found it fulfilling. I picked up Sarah’s Welcome Risen Jesus and look forward to beginning this tomorrow with my family. The other resource that I love is Lent and Easter in the Domestic Church. We also use a Lenten Wreath during meals. I find that with such a range in ages that it is helpful to make discussion a part of our morning and evening so I can reach each child that is most meaningful to them.
Lent with Teens
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Faith on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 12:51 PM
Last week’s conversation about faith and teens provided so much great fodder for conversation that I thought we’d use it as a jumping off point as we prepare to enter the season of Lent tomorrow. Clearly from your responses on that post, this is a topic that hits home for many of our families.
As I have been praying about my own personal Lenten devotions, I have also been raising the topic within our family. Eric is, of course, away at college—so with him there have been phone conversations and reminders, as well as motherly prayers on his behalf. With Adam still at home, it’s a bit easier to broach the topic, but I find myself still wanting to remain respectful of his personal spirituality and his own decision making process. So there have been chats, suggestions, and discussions of ways we can celebrate Lent as a family including family fasts, almsgiving in the form of service to others, and more prayer time together. But I hesitate to pass a unilateral edict like “no television during Lent” without it being a mutual decision in our home. I don’t want my sons (or any teen for that matter) to see Lent as something that is being forced upon them. Rather, I would hope that I can convey to them the joy I have found in this season of spiritual preparation and reflection, and that they will discover this joy for themselves.
I would love to hear from our readers today about your thoughts on this topic. How are you helping your teen to embrace the Lenten season? Does your family “do Lent” together, or is it more of an individual penance for each of you? For those who are younger and don’t yet have teens, what worked for you when you were that age, and what will you do differently than what your parents did with you?
Comments
Page 1 of 1 pages
Suzanne, could you tell me about your Lenten wreath? Haven’t heard about that and I’m interested in knowing more… thanks!
Lisa:
A couple of years ago, Faith and Family this is a print edition for the Lent/Easter issue.
One favorite Lenten custom in my home is the Lenten Wreath.
Like Advent, we make this a focal point for our family. We place it at the center of the dinner table. We light one candle each week during Lent and the seventh (yellow or white) candle Easter week. To create this wreath, I purchased a large ceramic pie plate and filled it with sand and pebbles. I then placed seven votive candle holders in it. It is meant to be barren looking like the desert. There are five purple candles, one pink candle and the center candle which is white. The colored candles represent the weeks of Lent and the white candle Easter. The pink candle is lit on the 4th Sunday of Lent (Laetare Sunday).
On Easter, we add small silk flowers to the sand to celebrate new life during the Easter season and light the center white candle.
There are prayers and readings that go with each week for us to reflect upon.
We also then keep the Wreath out as our center piece for all of the Easter Season.
Another is the Lenten Cross which I found at http://www.domestic-church.com. “This family activity is similar to the Jesse Tree used at Advent. The Jesse Tree follows both the family tree of Jesus and the history of the first Advent when God’s people awaited the coming of the Messiah. The Lenten Cross simultaneously follows the Messianic prophecies through the Old Testament and matches each with its fulfillment in the Crucifixion narrative.” We created our Lenten Cross out of felt and the children loved creating the squares that make it up.
This year I will be using Sarah’s book for our prayers and reflections.
Lisa, I too, don’t want my two teens to feel like Lent is something forced upon them, so, I also have suggestions & chats. Given the current situation with the HHS mandate, I will have us all pray the St. Michael prayer at least once a day together. They will also be giving up some “video game” time
our 13 year old just broke his patella and all of his movements are restricted for at least the length of Lent. So we told him that he could forego other forms of fasting (snacks, Wii) and dedicate his suffering as his sacrifice.
I wholeheartedly agree with this! Poor kid!
Suzanne, thanks for sharing that information—I would love to do one of those for our home!
Also, wanted to point everyone to this Scriptural Way of the Cross for Teens - https://www.avemariapress.com/engagingfaith/2009/03/scriptural-way-of-cross-for-teens/ and some other great resources at https://www.avemariapress.com/engagingfaith/2012/02/activities-students-prepare-for-lent/ that are designed for students but will also work well for teens.
We have two teens at home. Our 13 year old picked up the Lenten Magnificat after Mass last Sunday and we have all agreed to read the daily reflection together before our family rosary. He also consulted his father regarding sacrifices and prayer during lent, looking for his dad’s suggestions. I have spoken to my daughter (15) about fasting and her plan for meals this lent so that we can plan meals as a family. Her personal sacrifices and prayer commitments are private to her, she is definitely a more private child and I want to respect that. I whole heartedly agree that lent is a time for personal spiritual growth, not mandatory edicts from parents. Loving encouragement is definitely the way we have approached it.
My oldest son is a preteen. We’ve talked about different sacrifices and adding a spiritual element for Lent. We’ve also talked about how important it is to have someone to support us, encourage us, and gently remind us of our promises. So, he decided today on his sacrifice and his additional spiritual element and then told my husband. My husband in turn told my son his sacrifice and spiritual element. They have agreed to gently remind each other and offer each other encouragement and support. My two middle kids are doing the same for each other.
As a family, we will try to do the daily reflections that Sarah Reinhard wrote, and we will attend our church’s stations of the cross or do them at home every Friday evening. I have spoken to my children about considering sacrifices, but I leave it to them what to do/or if. However, I do not serve/buy dessert or sweets at all during Lent (having dessert is a daily treat around here, even if it’s just a few cookies) - except for birthdays and Laetare Sunday. I do not restrict them from sweets at other venues (a friend’s house, for example). So, while I’m not imposing a restriction on them, I am not providing a treat either. I do the same thing with meat on Fridays, since none of my children are yet 14, and are therefore not obliged to abstain from meat. I make meatless meals, but I do not prevent the 4 yo from having a slice of turkey from the lunchmeat drawer. Those who have made their FHC are reminded not to eat meat when at home, but I don’t worry about it if they should be out of the house and find it awkward when their friend’s mother makes hot dogs for lunch. That’s a tough situation for adults! My oldest, though, will be 14 in May, and he just made his confirmation, so I’m going to be more stringent in reminding him of the laws of the Church and his obligation to obey them.
Another thing we’ve done is to make a crown of thorns from salt dough, using toothpicks for the thorns. Set it in the middle of our dinner table. Whenever someone makes a sacrifice they pull a thorn from Jesus’ crown, and hopefully by Easter the thorns are gone.
We have a 15 year old and tonight we inquired what he might be offering up for Lent. While his idea, spending more time with us (the family) is a good one, we asked him what steps he was going to take to get there. He was unclear. We suggested (limiting his instrument playing, texting, tv, cell phone, etc.) and he was a bit disappointed. I’m praying for him and I know it does need to come from him, but we’re hoping the gentle nudge we gave him will make an impact. He *is* on board with a return to family rosary and joining the rest of us in the crown of thorns activity (offering sacrifices for one another). These activities we “invited” him to participate in with us and he happily agreed.
We do the crown of the thorns also. I now have one teen and one younger. I honestly don’t intend on doing anything differently for the teen. I don’t buy or serve sweets during Lent but beyond that they have always been free to give up what they want or do what they want. My problem is not getting the teen to give something up but trying to get him to not overdo it. He always wants to give up everything (all media, Legos, favorite foods, etc.) which means he has no outlet which only leads to getting agitated which leads to mom and brother suffering for it. So I sometimes have to draw a line and say he can only give up one or two major things. Some kids tend to go to extremes one way or the other and we have to find a way for them to find the golden mean.
We have all decided to be kinder to each other and to refrain from yelling and snapping! I have made a personal resolution to fast from the internet,except for checking messages twice a day and visiting this site 
and from all games. I am reading Salt and Light by the pope before he became pope. It is very engaging—it is an extended interview with a German journalist. Anyway my oldest is 17 and let’s say, “young” for his age. we went to mass and ashes early and then I dropped him at his respite program (it is winter break this week and he goes to a program for young people with autism). He marched right up to the young man in charge and said, Today is ash weds so I can’t have a hamburger when we go out but I know there is a pizza place next door so I will have plain pizza. LOL. They ended up going to Wendy’s and he had a fish filet sandwich. So at least some things are sinking in….we also read a lenten reflection at breakfast. so we will try to stay with it.
Post a Comment
By submitting this form, you give Faith And Family Magazine permission to publish this comment. Comments will be published at our discretion, and may be edited for clarity and length. For best formatting, please limit your response to one paragraph and don't hit "enter" to force line breaks.
