Lessons in Letting Go
Posted by Lynn Wehner in Family on Monday, January 17, 2011 9:00 AM
So, our eldest daughter got on a plane on Saturday and flew all night. When she landed Sunday morning, she was in Europe. It’s worth noting that I, my friends, am not in Europe. I am at home in the U.S., musing about my range of thoughts and emotions — excited for her, missing her, and wondering how we even got here.
As moms and dads, every fiber of our being tells us that parenthood is about nurturing, drawing close, protecting — about holding on. And it is. It most certainly is. But often parenthood is also about letting go. And just when we think we’ve figured out the secret to doing it well, we have to let go again. And yet again.
I remember the first time Allie got on a school bus for kindergarten. My husband was videotaping the momentous event that was happening at the end of our driveway. What did he capture on film at that vital instant, as she skipped up the bus stairs? The simple blur of a swinging ponytail.
She was off, ready for her new adventure — and about to spend a few hours away from her loving parents with people we basically did not know from Adam. It was weird then, and it’s weird now, as I think about it many years later.
In the time since then, though, there have been countless escalating “opportunities” for me to let go: “drop-off” birthday parties, allowing her to go to the movies with friends, handing her the car keys, bringing her to college.
Some things on that list seem bigger than others. But they’re all big. Allie grew with each and every one. And so did I. As parents, all we can do is to lovingly pray and discern as each opportunity comes along — offering a cautious “No” or breathing deeply and giving a more lenient “Yes,” as the Lord guides our minds and hearts.
If we do have our hearts open, we are served with constant reminders that our children are not our own — but God’s. Our children share a journey with us, but their journey is also their own. They must explore, branch out, find love beyond our families — and sometimes even travel to faraway places without us.
I wait with enormous excitement for her updates and pictures of her travels. But as for the whole “being on separate continents” thing, how will I handle the next few months? I hope with more faith than fear. I hope with more trust than doubt. I know with constant prayer to Our Heavenly Father … and to Our Lady, who understands what it is to trust and let go.
How do you deal with letting go in your life?
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