I gearing up for a Christmas trip via the airport. I am just curious if any of you have any ideas of fun stuff to bring for children. Coloring only lasts so long as do books. I’m not bringing a dvd player because I like my daughter to have a break from t.v. What creative things have you done to keep children busy in a “crazy-busy” environment? Thanks ahead of time!

Hi Mary, it depends on how old your daughter is but singing songs is always fun for us! Or maybe a travel board game? I was never very good at figuring this out.  We always drive and the DVD players work great.  Naps are good too!

On a different note, I have just recently started Natural Family Planning and I am loving it! I feel so much more in control of my fertility.  I have 3 kids and don’t really WANT any more.  I have been researching it a lot and when it’s done correctly, it’s 99% effective! I never knew that.  A friend of mine told me about NFP, but I quickly dismissed it because I was sure that it was “old school” and was too risky.  But when I started looking at some of the sites and info she sent me, I soon realized how powerful it is and how much I want my daughters to do the same.  All these pills and birth control methods are man-made and not very effective and promote secual behavior in a superficial way.  We just need to know how our bodies work and exert some self-control with our spouse and we should be OK! It’s AWESOME!!

Good morning.  I have a quick question.
Is Faith and Family Live and the magazine a ministry of Regnum Christi and the Legionaires of Christ?  I have seen this connection made elsewhere on the internet but can’t find anything on this website as to what group (s) sponsor it.  I have received the Faith and Family magazine in the past and never knew who published it.  Danielle, are you a member of Regnum Christi?

As someone who just got back from a hectic long flight,I ask with all due respect that nobody ever encourages their children to have sing along time in the airport nor on planes. This may be a great thing to do on car trips but when traveling with others who may not love your child’s rendition of the ABC song as much as you, doing so is extremely rude.
What we have done, when our children were younger and even today is first make sure that we have some interesting snacks.( plane pretzels are just not good enough sometimes ) Then I have been known to buy some puzzle books. Those ones ( I believe they are called yes and know)where you take the “magic” pen and go over the answer line to reveal the answers are loved my many, especially the younger crowd. They sell these at all airport stores but they can be found a lot cheaper on the outside. These also come in joke books, sports facts, trivia, social studies,and a whole host of other subjects, some pictures and not words for non readers. I have even seen them with bible story questions. These books are usually appealing because it is not an every day toy or book that has lost it’s appeal. This also works with any new book or toy that a child is interested in. I would let the child help pick out something well in advance but don’t let them have it until on the plane or on the layover or whatever the plan. Then I would engage the child daily in conversation about how great it will be to get this item and really get them psyched up for it. Since you don’t want to use a DVD player I suppose that a Game Boy may be out too .( this is priceless, with a new game of course, for my twelve year old ) Finally if all else fails, we make sure at that each child has a chance at using a window seat and quietly watches and softly talks about what the clouds / lights below look like . Hope some of these help. Have a great trip !

I brought an almost-4-year-old son home from the Philippines (a 22 hour flight) and entertained him with small vinyl cars, animals, “magic” picture books (color with special pen or water) and other trinkets purchased at a discount store.  No sharp edges, and very inexpensive so if one gets lost, no problem!  Good luck!

Does anyone have any great ways to celebrate the upcoming feasts of St. Nicholas, Our Lady of Guadalupe and or the feast of the Immaculate Conception? I’d like to really make these a big deal this year as we are making Christmas quite simple. Thanks for this and also for all who gave me hand lotion recommendations last week. Have a great Thanksgiving!

A few weeks back I asked about placing drinks in checked baggage on an airplane. I ended up calling the airline which told me that there had been a few complaints of cans of soda exploding during flights ,but that they were Ok with people trying it. I also called the TSA’s 800 number and was told that cans and plastic bottles ( even glass bottles if they were well padded) were OK with them. I lined my bag with a garbage bag ( just in case) and put bottles of Gatorade and Diet coke in. When I claimed my bags ( even after two flights and a transfer) the bottles were fine. I was glad that I tried this as the Gatorade that the hotel offered in the mini bar was six dollars per 16 oz. bottle and I purchased and packed 20 oz bottles from Big lots for .99 each. These did take up one whole bag (50 pound limit ) but the airline which we used allowed one free checked bag per person so we just put the two boys clothes together in another suitcase with weight to spare. This information saved me quite a bit so I thought I would pass it on. Of course ( as many suggested) it would be easier to just find a store if your circumstances allow for it, but ours did not. Thanks to everyone who gave me advise on this one and others.

Re: plane trips with small children.  I second the Nintendo DS/Gameboy/DVD players/Ipod.  Technology can be a wonderful thing when used appropriately and judiciously.  My younger children also like cards and believe it or not, a white board with some white board markers are always a hit.

MorningMama~
Re: Feast of St. Nicholas…Candy canes in the kids shoes is a fun, inexpensive idea. Have your kids leave their shoes at the foot of their beds and tell them they’re in for a surprise in the morning. =) You don’t have to use candy canes either, but that’s what I do. You could do a non-food item or another candy.
Have fun!

To MorningMama… http://www.stnicholascenter.org is an excellent website for all things St. Nick.  As for the other celebrations, I know that on Our Lady of Guadalupe, there are many flower activities out there (making paper roses) and for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, we have a white candle that we light and also another white candle w/an image of Mary & Baby Jesus carved into it (in blue) that we have lit.  I know you can find many great ideas at CatholicCulture.org for this stuff…but I hope that I gave you some springboard ideas.  ; )  God bless your Advent!!!

To add to Mary #9’s comment…yes, definitely… we have the kids put their shoes by the door the night before St. Nicholas’ Day & they come down to treats in their shoe in the morning.  Gold chocolate coins are traditional as are nuts, fruits, etc. but, again the site that I referred to (in post #10) will give you LOADS of info about all of it.  Enjoy & God bless!!!

Hi Beth,
Thanks for your question about our affiliations. Faith & Family Magazine and Faith and Family Live are published by Fr. Owen Kearns, who is a Legionary priest. He is also publisher of the National Catholic Register. You can read his bio at NCRegister.com.

Some of the laypersons who work for Faith and Family are members of Regnum Christi, but I am not. You can see the names of our staff on our masthead printed in every magazine and on our About Page here.

Our goal at the magazine and the blog is to bring Catholic moms and their families closer to Christ, and we are so glad you are here!

I have a question for all you wonderful mothers! I’ve been staying at home with my children and have found it to be very fulfilling. With school right around the corner for our oldest my heart is really tugging at me to try homeschooling. After much prayer and reflection, it seems that the main reason I want to homeschool is to protect my children from the influences of other children who haven’t been raised in the same kind of Catholic home that ours have. I’ve been told that this isn’t a very good reason to homeschool. Any thoughts?

Also, before I became a stay-at-home mother I was pursuing other talents that I’ve put on the back-burner. I’ve been really struggling with the expectations I have for being a dedicated mother while still yearning to cultivate my interests outside of motherhood. I’ve been giving SO much to my children and have pushed nearly everything else aside willingly, but would I be less of a good mother if I gave less time to them to pursue something for my benefit?

Did you see the article about the Protestant pastor who challenged his congregation to go seven days without sexual intimacy?

It made me wonder what the normal frequency is among this readership, many with larger than normal families.

My husband claims three times a week is the national average. Often that makes us below average. What about others?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/11/13/earlyshow/living/relationships/main4598299.shtml

Here’s the story ... I said it wrong. They didn’t have to skip a week, but, ahem, not skip a day for a week.

I’m struggling w/ something right now & could use some advice. What do you do when the parish you’ve grown up in no longer feels like it’s your parish anymore? I’ve gone to my local parish all my life (even when I didn’t live w/in its boundaries) & had always felt at home there. It had a warm, inviting feeling & everyone knew everyone. I always felt out of place when visiting another parish.

We recently got a new pastor & even though I’ve been through these transitions before, I’m struggling this time. I know there’s always a certain degree of parishioner turnover when a new pastor takes over, but we’ve lost many parishioners due to him, some who’ve been there from the beginning. He’s very controlling & can seem somewhat crazy at times.

A couple weekends ago, DH & I went to another parish & immediately had that warm feeling I used to have. Our kids really liked the Mass celebration there also.

I’ve always felt that, unless we moved, we would stay at our parish. Pastors come & go through the years, but the church remains. Now, I’m losing that feeling. Is it wrong to leave a parish if your faith is not being tended to? We would have left a couple months ago, but our oldest is making his First Communion this year & the wonderful teacher he has at church has been doing it for years. He also has some anxiety issues & we thought it would be too quick of a change for him right at the beginning of the school year.

Sorry if this seems kind of long. Any advice would be welcome! Thanks!

Morning Mama,

I, too, suggest the St. Nicholas Center. We get the children a Christmas ornament each year and put them in their shoes his feast day. For OL Guadalupe, you could read the story of OL Guadalupe by Tomie dePaola or the Legend of the Poinsettias, also by de Paola. You could do Mexican food for dinner. Since she is the Patroness against abortion, depending on the age of your children, you could pray in front of an abortion clinic that day, or if they are younger, say a prayer to end abortion. For both the 8th and 12th there are novenas you can say leading up to those feasts. For the Immaculate Conception, you could do an all white dinner to represent the purity of Mary: potatoes or pasta, chicken, etc. Mary as the Immaculate Conception is patroness of the United States, so you could say a special prayer for our country and our politicians that day.

Morning! Does the OB normally do an ultrasound at your first pregnancy visit? I’d prefer to just do the Doppler to hear the heartbeat, unless there’s a reason to do an ultrasound. (I’ll be at 9+wks for the visit).

Millie -

I do not think it makes you a bad mother for wanting to pursue some outside interests.  When we give so much to our children it is easy to get burnt out and irritable.  Having something we do just for ourselves can refresh us and make us better mothers in the long run.

I am looking for some religious medals and perhaps a statue of the Holy Family for Christmas presents.  Does anyone know a good online retailer for these things?  It so hard to tell from online pictures if an item is really quality or not.  Thank you!

I’ve been looking for a generally Catholic perspective on this question, so I’d like to hear your thoughts: What are your feelings about respecting the dignity of the human body after death? I know the general guidelines in normal situations for a funeral Mass, burial, cremation, organ donation, etc, but I’m talking more about academic/display situations. What are your thoughts on the display of mummies and skeletons in museums, exhibits like BODIES (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BODIES…_The_Exhibition)  and Body Worlds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Worlds), the scientific study of ancient remains? What should be done with people like the Lindow Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindow_Man) and Kennewick Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kennewick_Man)? Study? Display? Would any of that be okay if these were the bodies of you or I? Is it an issue of consent? (In which case, Body Worlds and maybe some museum skeletons are okay, the rest are not.) Does the Church have a stance on issues like these?

Hi Millie,

  I’m about in the same boat you are, but my oldest isn’t quite ready for school yet.  I asked the opinion of a group of Catholic moms that I respect at a Familia meeting (It’s a Scripture/Church document study for mothers of young children).  As most of them send their kids to the parish school, I was surprised at how many of them said that if they could just start over with their now 4th and 5th graders, they would have homeschooled instead.  The main reason was the influence of other children at the school.  This, along with the awesome group of homeschooled teenagers that my husband and I work with at our parish is really leading me in that direction.  Still, I think everyone has to do what’s right for their own families.

Millie,
I do not home school but feel that if you feel you are being pulled in that direction, no matter who feels that your reasoning is good enough or not, that you should at least look into it.  You are right that your children will encounter children who are not raised as well, if they attend public schools or even Catholic schools. However ,eventually every child will encounter other such children either way. Whether it be at the library, park, grocery store, or wherever. We just have to let our children know right from wrong and that just because others do wrong, it doesn’t make it OK for us.

As for your second question, I say that you should find a balance where you are a good Mother but still allow yourself some time for interests other than Mothering. Just make sure that these outside interests are a good example to your children.( I would bet that they most certainly are). I have been a stay at home Mom for fifteen years. My children range from twelve to eighteen. Since I had to work for a few years to make ends meet, I dropped all outside interests when I made the transition. Having my children in public schools I volunteered at every opportunity and was the best Mom that I could be. Unfortunately fifteen years later I found that I was so burnt out that I could scream. It has been tough to now try to rekindle non Mothering things that I used to enjoy . If I had it to do all over again I would take a small amount of time for me that I was ashamed to take back then.
Just my opinion

Dawn, I don’t believe there is a need for an ultrasound except for one around 20 weeks unless you are showing signs of a problem.  (I also know some people who don’t feel the need for one at 20 weeks unless there are signs of problems!)  That’s my 2 cents.

Dawn,
I don’t think they do an ultrasound right away unless there’s a discrepancy between estimated date of conception and uterine size—-or some other reason for concern.

I would like to ask for some prayer this morning. My youngest son ( age 12 ) was born premature with some medical problems. Though he is now considered healthy and has a higher than average IQ, he has an IEP ( individual education plan) in school. Due to some occupational problems he has never totally mastered cursive/ script writing, so his IEP allows him to print his schoolwork. Last night he came home on the verge of tears and explained to me that he was ordered ( in front of the class) to redo an English paper because the teacher refused to accept it because it was printed. My son told the teacher of his IEP but the teacher told him that it was only because of his speech impediment that he had an IEP and insisted that he write the paper. My son had to embarrassingly admit ( in the classroom ) that he is unable to do so ( he has yet to master writing a couple capital letters). even after humiliating my son the teacher still would not accept the paper. I was furious to hear this last night as his IEP does in black and white require , by law, that he be able to print. I left messages( everyone was gone for the day) on the principal’s, superintendent’s,director of special education’s, and teacher’s voice mails but have not gotten any calls back yet today. I pray that the IEP is pulled and read and that this little conflict leads all teacher’s to familiarize themselves with these special needs kids IEPs. When a child is in LD classes or has a noticeable disability their IEP is obvious but some children have special needs that are not so noticeable, would we ever admonish a blind child for walking off course? Of course not. Should my child’s disability be any different ? Please pray for everyone involved in this one.
Thanks

Dawn,
I have always had to have ultrasounds around at seven/eight weeks. My doctors have tried just the doppler and usually have great difficulty getting a heartbeat earlier than 12 weeks with just the doppler because of my surrounding organs overpowering the sound of the heartbeat. I am not overweight and of average height but no doctor I have been to (including a midwife who saw me before I was diagnosed with a bloodclotting disorder) has ever been able to get a heartbeat on the doppler earlier than 12 weeks.

The other thing an early ultrasound allows the doctor to see is if anything has changed in your ovaries, uterus, or fallopian tubes. In my case it showed between pregnancies I developed a second fibroid and my first fibroid had tripled in size. It’s one of those things that the doctor or midwife won’t know if the can’t see it. Same thing with tubal pregnancies. Our neighbor refused an ultrasound with her midwife and when her tube ruptured she lost that pregnancy, the fallopian tube and the ovary.

Ella,
I haven’t seen anyone answer yet so I will step up. After twenty years of marriage this July, I don’t know about the every day thing. My family leads such busy lives between work, the kids school , after school activities, and so on it would be very very rushed for us to accomplish every day without being awake half of the night and extremely tired, not to mention cranky, the next day. I think that we would both rather keep things loving and relaxed when we have time rather than rushed, just to get it done more frequently. Some weeks we are average , some more, some less and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Just my two cents !

Dear Morning Mama
Here’s a great resource for all kinds of crafts, recipes, etc. to celebrate the Feast of St. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra & Patron of Children:

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=23

Scroll down the archives on this site to find some nice craft, story, & recipe ideas for the Feasts of St. Nicholas, Our Lady of Guadalupe & the Immaculate Conception:

http://dawnathome.typepad.com/by_sun_and_candlelight/tea_and_crafts/index.html

Here is an image of a cute craft of the miraculous image on St. Juan Diego’s tilma that our Catholic homeschool group plans to do to celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe:

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&resnum=0&q=tomie depaola juan diego&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

Millie:  The desire to protect our children from harmful outside influences while they are still spiritually immature is a completely understandable reason to educate them at home.  What a great honor, privilege & responsibility it is to nourish & protect these precious souls that have been entrusted to us by Our Lord.

Mary,
Flying with small children can be hectic even at the best of times (you didn’t mention your daughter’s age). I second the recommendation to take along a child’s backpack full of little toys from the $ store, books you don’t mind reading over and over or a new book for an older child, magnetic games, snacks… I would wrap each item to make it more special but you have to have a bag for the trash.
Millie,
I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to homeschool to keep your children pure and help them live a more holy life. Homeschooling is an excellent way to do this as well as provide a superior and individualized education for their children. If you feel called to do so then go for it. As for needing outside interests, many homeschooling moms work and are involved outside the home, look at Danielle Bean! My favorite things to do are quilt, write, and read and homeschooling 3 out of my 5 has not slowed me down (much).

Re: Ella and Diane: I wonder if that national average includes couples who work full time, have 2+ kids under 16, and busy schedules? This gal did it…Have you read this story about a wife who “gave it” to her husband everyday for a year for his 40th birthday?

http://www.newsobserver.com/news/story/1052565.html

Thoughts? Not sure I could do this…

Kathleen, my husband is a theology professor and a convert to the Catholic faith. His opinion is that the actual bodies of humans should not be put on display for “entertainment” purposes, which for us includes things like the traveling displays of real bodies (one of which was recently here in Kansas). The use of bodies for scientific or research purposes, including the training of medical personnel, seems to us to be licit (allowed). I don’t think someone giving a consent makes it right. For our family, we refused to attend the local showing of a Bodies exhibit (I don’t remember exactly which one it was), but we did continue to visit the museum that hosted it. (It was a separate ticket charge to see the bodies.) My husband wrote a letter to encourage our diocesan newspaper to respond to exhibits like Bodies, but they didn’t so perhaps the Church doesn’t have a formal view. (Our diocese tends to be conservative.)

MUNCHESMON #16—Parish question. Well, what’s the purpose of a parish, if not to nourish your spiritual life? What’s most important? And unfortunately, parishes do change, not always for the better.

You might ask the DREs of both parishes some policy questions. Where I live, it’s okay for a child to attend RE at a parish where the family doesn’t attend Mass.

First Communion/First Confession is a bit tricky. You might also consider doing the prep at home—it is not a requirement of canon law that your children have sacramental prep from anyone other than their parents. Pastors have an obligation to be sure kids know their stuff before celebrating a sacrament, but neither the classes nor the group First Communion are required by the laws of the Church. that might be more options than you’re looking for, but many folks seem to think only home-schooling parents can do this, and that’s not the case.

Hmmmm….. my husband tried to tell me that 3x a week was an absolute minimum for him.  I asked him because I was trying to make a conscious effort in this area, to increase frequency which is more like 2-3x a month (which of course is fine with me!)  I was a little put off by the 3x a week minimum, and thought it was ridiculous.  Am interested to hear what others say about this.

Very interesting discussions about marital intimacy and respect for the dignity of the deceased. Hmm.

I think it’s awesome for couples to be encouraged to greater generosity, going both ways. But the key isn’t how many times they give themselves to one another each week; the key is the desire of their hearts to love as God loves when they do give themselves to one another. It is easy for all of us to forget we are imaging God in this intimate embrace. Once that’s all straight, the more the merrier.

Bodies on display—Anymore so few people really understand the dignity of the body as God’s gift and work of art and the soul’s eternal companion, so it just can’t be a good idea.

As a Dad, I am “brand new” to coffee talk.  I am posting for my wife, Therese.  Last week she wrote of a Kindergarten lesson on the Jesse Tree.  She had several requests via email for the master copy.  However, this week, Therese became ill.  She has had a recurrence of cancer within her spinal fluid and due to the chemo, her platelets dropped to 15,000.  (Normal is 150,000 to 450,000, so this is a serious complication).  She asked me to send an email or post to those who requested the Jesse Tree lesson plan, since she is clearly not up to sending it at this time.  Thank you for your unerstanding (and I am certain, of your prayers for her, as well as myself and our four kids).

Millie,
You can always try homeschooling for kindergarten and then re-assess.  (kindergarten has the great advantage of being lower-key).  One thing though—if you are trying to pursue outside interests yourself, homeschooling can make that difficult.  Maybe not so much in kindergarten but as the children get older.  (if I had a dime for every time I have heard a mom make the realization “You have to be home a lot to homeschool!”)  Hopefully your children will socialize with other children no matter what schooling you do, which guarantees that somewhere there will be children raised differently.  But I have (finally!) come to realize that perfect environments are not realistic nor necessary.  My sons first went to a very small school where I really liked *almost* all the families there. (all were Christian but not all Catholic.)  Now they are at a larger Catholic school where I frankly don’t think all the students have been raised in the same Catholic home that mine have - and it’s ok.  The teachers and principal are wonderful at trying to create a truly Catholic environment, and as long as the majority are nice kids and there are other families there who love Jesus and follow the Church, we can do fine.
FWIW, I have a 3rd grader and 5th, and if I had it do over I wouldn’t homeschool for a minute.  (that’s just us and our experience.)  No school is perfect.  Homeschooling is not perfect.  Luckily, we do not need perfect.    Try to search with an open mind and remember, you can always try something and then change your mind later.  You are not locked in for 12 years!

Tony - thank you for posting and of course our prayers are with your wife and family at this time!

Bodies on display - I don’t know how intent factors in because it is so subjective, but are there not bodies of many saints on display?

I need advice.

Ever since the weather got cold and we have started running the heater, my whole family has been under the weather, ranging from a general feeling of ick to actually sick. I keep the temp at 69. The littles wear blanket sleepers and have humidifiers in their rooms. My husband replaced the filter on the furnace. Yet, every morning we all wake up with crud. Any advice is appreciated. It’s going to be a long winter at this rate.

Patty,
What kind of heater are you running? Do you have a carbon monoxide detector in your home? All kinds of heaters can produce carbon monoxide and the resulting poisoning can make everyone ill. Please check!

Darlamom,

We’re all electric here, including the furnace.

I’ve thought about the relics and bodies of saints on display, and I feel perfectly comfortable with this, for the most part. I don’t know if it has to do with the purpose for which it’s there, the attitude of the visitors, or the intent of those choosing to put it on display, but it feels fine to me. I’ve lately been getting increasingly uncomfortable, though, with museum displays that include real mummies or human skeletons. I’m not sure exactly what the difference is, but that kind of display usually strikes me as profoundly disrespectful, rather than profoundly respectful the way the display of saints’ relics does. But I’m not sure that they’re inherently different.

I’ve always felt too uncomfortable with the idea to go see any of the BODIES or Body Worlds exhibits (once I looked into it, I realized that I especially would not see BODIES. Consent is involved for most (not all) in Body Worlds, so that’s slightly more acceptable to me), and the natural extension of that was a similar dis-ease around mummies and skeletons in musuems, but in a lot of natural history museums (and I go to a lot of museums), they’re unavoidable.

Any suggestions for homemade Christmas gifts that involve a toddler?  Or homemade gifts that a toddler couldn’t do but that would be easy and not too expensive to make for relatives and friends?  I’m trying to avoid giving sweets this year but still want something practical—maybe soaps or dishtowels with my daughter’s handprint on them?  Have any of you done anything in the past that went over really well?  Thank you—and prayers to all of you who have requested them!

KE - A few years ago, I went to Michaels craft store and picked up a bunch of the ready-to-paint wood ornaments, some sponge brushes, craft paint and glitter.  The kids had a blast painting them and sprinkling the glitter (EVERYWHERE!).  I got the ornaments that have a whole for a picture, snapped a picture, printed and attached.  They were much loved by relatives and adorn the trees every year.  It’s neat to see how they’ve grown.

How do you all feel about gift cards being requested in lieu of gifts for church Christmas programs.  I disliked gift cards before they starting asking for them for the church programs.  It is rare that I even consider giving one for any reason.  My reason for not wanting to give them is that many times I have seen gifts cards given to purchase a gift for a child ends up being spent by the parent for themselves and atleast if the gift is purchased hopefully the child will receive it.

About switching parishes-
my advice is to pray about it for a while- in my experience, when my husband and I switched parishes to a parish where we felt we were getting more spiritual food, on a certain level it just didn’t work.  When you are not at your geographical parish, the people you see at MAss are not the same people you see in the carpool line, at the grocery store, doctor’s office, etc.  No matter how nice they are, they are still strangers.  This made more of a difference than I had expected it too.  On the other hand, I would certainly switch parishes if there were things going on that I just couldn’t stomach.  Of course, there is a lot of gray area in between.

Re Intimacy.  I heard a wise priest say that both spouses should consider at each act: Am I GIVING, or TAKING?  He also said that spouses should never give the gift of their bodies “for the sake of peace”.  If that’s what’s going on, there might be something deeper afoot that merits looking into.

Patty,
Years ago when I was small my parents , who have always had a heating oil or natural gas furnace, were not able to sleep at the house of family members who had electric baseboard heat without waking up with sore throats and their eyes and noses badly crusted . We always thought that it was just too drying since they were not used to it. Us kids and the family who lived there never had any problems. I do not have any answers but would suggest that you talk to your family doctor about it.

KE
when my children were smaller we made mouse pads . We took a picture of the kids and printed it on iron on paper ( a little over $1 a piece, but two pictures fit on one piece) We then ironed them on light colored plain mouse pads ( $1 each) On the top or bottom of each picture we printed We Love you and put the recipients name. these went over very very well and are still being used years later .And at less than $2 a piece, you can make them for everyone

Ann R
I also dislike gift cards but for an other reasons. First with most gift cards there is no money back so many end up overspending as to not let the gift go unused and have to add money for the difference. Another reason is that I am a bargain shopper and if I have a gift card for Wal Mart you can bet that what I want is cheaper at Target. If someone on my list requests gift cards I will give them cash instead. As for Church Christmas programs, I assume that you mean like giving trees, I agree with you and would never give a gift card. I would either pick another name or pick an age appropriate gift.

Mary—-I’ve made the Chicago-Hong Kong flight about nine times so far.  Here are some things that have helped me with the 15+ hour flight.  When I first started making this trip, my son was 2 and a half.  The last time we made it was in August, and he was almost five.
1) I do not count on napping.  Unless you let your child stay up as late as possible the night before the trip, and therefore make sure that they are tired that day, do not count on it.  One trip we made, my then four-year-old son did not sleep until we were more than 12 hours into the flight.  Other times he has slept for hours right after take-off.  I count any nap time as a bonus under this plan.
2) Klutz books (which usually have some sort of play set with them) and Brainquests can be great.  Also sticker books are fun, too.  Coloring can be difficult on the little trays in economy. 
3) I keep all playsets, books, etc, in their own little zipper bags.  It is not fun having to dig through your carry-on’s to look for the one car, dinosaur, or whatever, your child needs in the cramped quarters of economy.  If everything is already sorted in its own bag, all the better.

These are just a few things that have worked for us.

KE
My kids have made an ornament every year and this is what we give to grandparents, godparents, and this year teachers too.  Last year we painted their hands white and then put their handprint on a colored Christmas buld ornament.  There was a little poem that I added with each one about the 5 little snowman and see how they grow.  This year we will make “tye-dyed” Christmas bulbs.  I found some clear glass Christmas bulbs and we will put some paint in each one and roll them around (carefully!).  The kids really like this and are always proud to show off what they have done.

On parishes - my family was once really torn over which parish to belong to, and we asked one of the pastors who said - the sheep have to go where they get fed.  If you’ve prayed about it and your spiritual needs are not being met, you should switch to a parish where they will be met.  And we got consent from both parishes before switching.  It was a really rough decision for me - I had been an employee at one parish and just knew too much of the background/human side of the folks who worked there to be able to set that aside during Mass or any prayer time, but felt like we shouldn’t switch for my struggle.

Toddler gifts - 2 Thoughts - pinecone ornaments are actually really pretty easy and cheap.  You can either dip glue on them and have your toddler shake them in a bag of glitter - or put glitter glue on them which is also very nice.  There are a bunch of craft sites out there with pinecone ideas.  With this you could put decorated pinecones, christmas lights and christmas pom-poms/ornaments in a jar or vase as a Christmas centerpiece gift.  The toddler would love to help put the stuff in.

If you don’t live close to grandma and grandpa - you could make a nice card/certificate “Letter of the Month Club” and send a letter with pictures, crafts etc each month to the grandparents.  With this you can also get a binder and decorate it - maybe with handprints of the toddler, and put plastic sleeves in it for the grandparents to store the letters and crafts for the year.  This is also very economical for you, and gives them lots of memories if they don’t see you often.