Well, the show might be good, but I really don’t care for the name at all.  I’m just being honest, but really I don’t think a one word title that is a riff on “The View” is very enticing.

As for parenting from afar, well, I think that programs like Scouts help prepare you for the separation that will occur when your child goes to college.  For boys, anyway - I only have one son that is “gone” and with the increasing amounts of trips that the boys take beginning at age 13, it helped me to learn to separate from him.  Honestly, I spend more time praying for him now than I ever did before.  I am lucky that my son checks his e-mail, because that is my preferred method of communicating and I try to send him e-mails regularly (a couple of times a week) but not so much that I am being a pest.  I get a one line response, usually, but I know then he’s OK.  His Dad is disappointed that he doesn’t call more often because that was Dad’s routine when he was in college and afterwards to call every Sunday.    But I think we need to be sensitive to each person’s style of communicating.  My husband does see his facebook updates so he usually actually knows more about the day to day than I do.  When he comes home, I try to make a lot of his favorite foods and send him back with more.  I have found that he is usually exhausted on the drive home (he is only an hour away) so I don’t expect much in the way of conversation on the way home.    However, next semester he will be in Europe and then plans to travel on his own for a few weeks.  Last summer he went with a group from college to Africa for two weeks and that has helped prepare me for this next venture that will require more independence.  He will always be my “baby” but I am learning to trust God as we all must.

Each child is unique, and so is each separation.  Our oldest did not want much contact, so we left it to her to call us, and she did call pretty regularly.  She needed to be in control until she grew up enough to realize that we were not trying to control her.  Our second needed much more contact, and will often call twice or three times in a week, often with the intention of talking for an hour or more.  We carve out time to talk to him so that he doesn’t feel neglected.  Our third chose to go to college only an hour from home, and so far likes to take the train back regularly, something the others couldn’t do, in addition to frequent calls.  I agree with Susie that smaller trips help prepare parents to let go as needed.  And thank God for Skype!  There was a point in our oldest child’s college experience when we would have given much to see her face “just for five minutes,” as my husband said.  We have been able to see our second child’s face, no matter how far he has roamed, including a base on a small island in the southern Philippines.  It makes so much difference in the quality of our relationship with him!  But it has not changed the basic strategy, which is to put control of contact in our children’s hands, and put our trust in God to see to their well-being.  Having children continues to be good for developing our prayer life!

Lisa, I am delighted to hear that your son is thinking of studying in Scotland! As a Glaswegian I am naturally inclined to think that Glasgow uni rocks but you know what so does St andrew’s and Edinburgh too and if St Andrews is good enough for our future king and queen need I say more?? I look forward to hearing what he decides and if he needs any advice about Scotland’s unique culture feel free to email me! love love love the podcast by the way! x

Whoops forgot to say that Dundee and Aberdeen are also excellent, you really can’t go wrong with our uni’s!