"Making" Time
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Just me on Thursday, June 03, 2010 9:31 PM
Here’s something I’ve noticed: the less I pray, the more impatient I am when I do.
We try to say evening prayers every day, and sometimes during them I get itchy. I can’t sit still, thinking of all the things I have to do before bedtime. I just want prayers to be over so I can get to the stuff that feels more important.
Intellectually, I know it’s ridiculous. I know praying is the most important thing I can do with my time. Nevertheless, during prayers I am wiggling and barely paying attention, because I’m thinking about the things that are urgent instead of important.
This is the most likely to happen on a day when I haven’t prayed much. When I’ve skipped morning prayer, perhaps, and failed to focus enough on making my daily tasks into prayers. The less I pray, the more those urgent unimportant items crowd my mind. I think frantically that I have no time to pray. Who can pray when there are crumbs on the floor and loads of laundry to be folded?
Vacuuming and laundry will always be there, though. God will always be there too, but He should not be made to wait. Housework can wait.
When I do make time for prayer, everything in my life runs more smoothly. Prayer time itself becomes a source of peace instead of a chance for me to feel frustrated.
I know that this is true and I also know why it is true (grace, of course) but it’s hard for me to remember to live my life in accordance with it. All I can do is keep failing, keep getting up and trying again, keep praying for the grace that makes it all possible. Starting right this minute.
I’m also wondering if the concept might extend to other areas of my life. So often my children are reaching for me and I’m putting them off because I have so many other things to do… but what if I made more time to hold them? Would it get easier to patiently sit and read to them if I sacrificed and did it more often?
There are so many things that I feel I don’t have time to do, but what if I just started taking the time? Would I find that I have much more than I think I do?
It’s food for thought.
And for prayer, of course.
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