Marital Bliss
Posted by Rachel Balducci in Marriage on Friday, August 15, 2008 12:28 AM
Next week, Paul and I will celebrate our fourteenth anniversary. Did I really just type that? Isn’t it just four years? I guess not because then where did all these little boys come from. Some days I can’t believe I’m no longer a newlywed, while other days I marvel that it hasn’t been longer.
Fourteen years ago, I walked down the aisle headed towards the greatest adventure of my life. I love being married. It is beautiful and gratifying and tough all at once.
Here are three things I would tell a couple about to be married.
1. Never let the sun go down on your anger.
This is something my parents always preached to me and my seven younger siblings, and I saw them live this out. They taught us to try and live out these words in all our relationships, including among the eight of us—but especially once we were married. This has been wonderful for Paul and me. Even if there is something that cannot be resolved immediately, just addressing the issue and agreeing to discuss it further is always a relief.
2. If you are a woman: remember you are married to a GUY.
This might sound silly, but when it finally clicked with me, things got a whole lot easier. With men, what you see is what you get. What they say is what they mean. Don’t overcomplicate things by trying to “read into” what your husband is telling you. Don’t analyze to the point of absurd. Trust me on this one. I have learned this the hard way. I think after boys three, four and five I finally started embracing the creature that is The Male and I have found much happiness and inner peace. Men are not neanderthals, but they’re not too complicated, either.
3. Don’t be afraid to seek counsel.
Do you have someone in your life who has a wonderful marriage? Perhaps your parents have been happily married for years, or you know a couple who has good fruit in their married life? Paul and I have benefited a great deal from having trusted mentors, people who can encourage us in our vocation as husband and wife, whose counsel we cherish. Even just on days when you need someone to tell you to keep up the good work, the wisdom and love of a trusted friend is invaluable. “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter,” says Sirach 6:14, “he who finds one finds a treasure.”
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