Mass Distraction
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Faith on Monday, June 30, 2008 9:00 AM
It’s hard to admit, but I don’t enjoy going to Mass as much as I once did. Before I was a mother, I’d often walk out of Mass feeling that the grace I’d received from hearing the Scriptures and receiving the Eucharist was actually palpable. These days, what’s palpable is the aching in my arms from restraining my daughter as she tries to squirm out of the pew and explore. I’ve usually spent a part of the Mass outside the sanctuary because Camilla wasn’t behaving well, and I’ve missed part of the homily or the Eucharistic Prayer. (Not that I’m bragging, but my daughter has a knack for acting up during the consecration. Truly, it’s uncanny.) It’s hard to feel spiritually rejuvenated after Mass with a little kid.
Recently I had the opportunity to attend Sunday Mass without the toddler, and it was great. I heard every word of the readings and the homily, paid full attention to the Eucharistic liturgy, and had a lovely post-communion meditation. As we walked out of the sanctuary, I felt incredibly refreshed, and a little wistful for the days when Mass experiences like that were the norm instead of a rare exception.
However, I know that God hasn’t called me to attend every Mass undistracted by a child. If He’d wanted that, He could have given me a vocation to the religious life, but He didn’t. He wants me to be a mother, in the fullest sense of the word. And what that means, now, is that I go to Mass with a squirmy toddler. Sigh.
I know, though, that I can trust Him, and I am consoled in that knowledge. If He has called me to toddler-accompanied Mass experiences rather than unencumbered ones, then that is the path through which He will give me the most grace. It’s not always obvious to me, but it must be true. Whatever grace I’m missing because my daughter is tugging on my skirt when I’m trying to pray, He is replacing in other ways because I am following His call and doing His will for me.
Now, I’ve just got to remember that the next time I’m rushing red-faced out of the sanctuary with a wailing toddler. Yes. Lord, give me extra grace to remember that.
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