You’ve probably already looked into this, but maybe you can find a parish with a nursery during Sunday Mass. You can have your two-year old attend the nursery while you and the older children attended mass. I’ve used the nursery during the terrible twos with several of my kids, and it has been a real blessing.

Honestly, I wish more Catholic churches had childcare. I know the ideal is to have the whole family together during Mass, but when one parent is in the lobby the whole time with a crying baby or a chatty toddler, they’re not together anyway ... and they CERTAINLY aren’t together when Mom and Dad have to go to Mass in shifts.

Our parish has child care for toddlers during one Mass. It’s not perfect (especially as it’s earlier than I’d like to get up, LOL!), but I think it’s a good solution. My almost-3-year-old son is happy, our baby sits nicely with us during the Mass.

Father, I agree with Sooz that cry rooms are generally not great places to take kids. We have alternately called them the “room-where-kids-learn-to-be-bad-at-church”, the “crazy room” and the “room-for-anti-social-adults”. I’d rather hang out in a cold narthex. The times where I am compelled to enter a cry room (usually with a nursing baby) are great opportunities to offer up the suffering!

We have always taken all the children (now 5 of them) to the front and center of the church. We have found that distractions are reduced for them. They can actually see the priest and altar and even the youngest occasionally attend to what is going on by default. I will take misbehaving children out if they are becoming a distraction for others but rarely completely out of the church. We haunt the corners and alcoves and yes, the narthex. But we always bring them back as soon as possible. They need to get the message that we are not leaving.
Sitting up front is humbling. Things happen. I certainly don’t like to be so visible. But it does help over the long haul.

I’m not sure how I feel about child care at Mass. On the one hand, it sounds lovely for mom:). On the other, Father hits the nail on the head when he says that mothering even during Mass is part of God’s plan for our vocation. I tend to think that we could find occasional babysitting for a daily Mass or adoration but try our hardest to keep Sunday as a family Mass.

It does take courage to bring small children to Mass. It can be hard. Do it anyway. The dividends will pay out handsomely.

I think a solution is to tell the pastor. He can do some simple things. One, the priest at one parish I visited had very thoughtfully reserved the back pews for parents with young kids. Two, At another parish I know there is an old lady who helps a young mom. The priest could ask during announcement time if there are any parishioners who would like to sit with the young mom who is alone, during Mass and assist her. Three, he could announce that the cry room is also for worship and could parents please refrain from chatting, etc.
We’re a community - we should help each other!

Sometimes (NB I am not claiming all of the time) it is possible to alter the tone of the cry room.  If I need to use it (not too often, thankfully) I generally park as close to the front as possible.  Then proceed to maintain the correct postures as much as the situation allows (and squirming, restless nurslings often preclude this) and participate in the responses, prayers and singing fully.  Perhaps even a touch louder than I normally would.    It can sometimes (again not always) nudge other parents into remembering why we’re all here at Mass to begin with…

My husband and I sit in the front pew - with out two children (2 and younger) - at Sunday Mass.  Yes, it is humbling when one cries.  But I couldn’t agree more with Melody that sitting front and center helps ALL of us pay attention to the Mass.  Fellow parishioners (and visiting priests) comment on how well the little ones pay attention.  I believe it is b/c we sit up front - - because I have taken nieces/nephews up front with us, who I have seen act out when they sit in the back. 
That being said, disruptions will still happen occasionally.  I am encouraged when other parishioners THANK me for bringing the children to daily Mass by myself (though I often doubt that I can handle this daunting task).  They love to see AND HEAR the children. 
Be confident!  Bring them and sit up front!
I’ve never belonged to a parish with a crying room, and I am just as happy for it.  We are all one parish family and better for it.  God bless.

Joan is right - four at 4&U is a handful for daily Mass.  Regarding childcare during Sunday Mass, I love my parish arrangement.  We have a nursery for young infants (though I never used it) and we have Little Children’s Church for preschoolers (2 1/2- 4).  Just when my daughters were going from cute baby snuggled in my arms to crazy toddlers, I signed them up for LIttle Children’s Church. They shared a Bible Story, had a craft related to the story, and sang songs while I attended Mass. On the occasion when LCC was closed, they were interested (sort-of) in “Big People Church”.  By the time they moved into Kindergarten CCE, I told them they were old enough to behave in Mass and exactly sort of behavior I expected.  (I don’t always get it, but they know what I expect.)

Very Intresting topic. Personally I do not like the cry room either. I feel it should be a place to teach your children how to behave but to many allow their children to run a muck. When I was in California the Church we attended had a cry room on Sunday we tried to avoid it. At daily mass it was a great place to teach the kids how to behave in mass without disturbing others. At the time I had 7 kids ages 16,12,8,5,4,3,1.
Then we moved to Idaho. The church we attend now is tiny no cry room no vestibule. Only the outside which in winter is not an option. I feel lucky because our priest is not bothered by misbehaving babies. I just says that they are praying in there own way. We always sit in the front 2 pews (the pews are so short we take up two). Of course when a baby or other child is really bad or screaming we take them to the back or out whatever fits the situation. My kids are not perfect in mass but I have tried to teach them how to behave. Today we have 10 kids 8 still at home and 3of them are 5years or younger. I have had days where I want to slither out of mass because I am so embarrased by a kid or two. I have felt lucky that people have reminded me that just being at mass with the kids is a prayer in itself. God knows our hearts he knows what we are trying to accomplish. Watching our kids and teaching them in mass is a prayer. So we should keep up the good work and fight the good fight.
On a side note I do see how childcare could be helpful so that we can pray but for me I prefer that my kids learn to behave and are in the Church with me for others that may be different

I am always amazed by the number of people who tell me how well-behaved my kids are during mass - because I see all the times they are not. This is to reassure other mothers - your kids behavior will bother you far more than anyone else.

I have nursed each of my children during mass - I just drape a quilt over my shoulder. Works fine as long as a toddler doesn’t lift up the blanket to play with the baby : )

Consistency is key - the same mass, the same time, the same pew (so people who don’t like kids can learn to sit elsewhere). When we get out of our routine, the kids make me pay in misbehavior.

My two year old chats all throughout the Mass.  We encourage him to pipe down, but he’s still a baby and still learning.  We’ve never experienced negativity from those around us.  I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had to take him to the back of the church since he was born.  My attitude is that Jesus said “let the children come to me”, and unless he’s really crying, he has a right to be there.  I think he’s well behaved (other than the chatter) because he’s so used to going with us.

Taking my 2.5 year old to Mass can be so terribly discouraging. We work so hard to keep her quiet and still, and we always take her out of the chapel when she begins to cry, but it seems like people go out of their way to make us feel like we shouldn’t be there. My husband and I love to worship Our Lord in the Mass, but these last few years have been rough. I always try to send encouraging smiles to other moms of small children - and I encourage everyone here to do the same.

One of the most marvelous blessings I’ve ever received at daily Mass (besides Jesus Himself!) was when I used to attend a daily school Mass with my then 3 children under 4.  The eighth grade teacher offered me TWO eighth grade girls to help with the kids!  They would help with the 2 “older” kids, while I tended to the baby and even was able to pay attention to the Mass.  I do try to get to know folks at daily Mass, and am so grateful when others offer to help out.