I use Nelsons Pollenna with my eight year old. http://www.oceanhealthstore.com It works wonders, for him. It is suppossed to help build up a tolerance for pollen. It has definitely worked for him. You need to start giving it before hayfever season begins. With it I only have to give him antihistamines ocassionally! I also give him local honey. They say it helps, but I really can’t tell.

I try to make sure everyone takes a shower and wash their hair to get the pollen off their body and hair after playing outside,raking leaves, going to the park.  I don’t dry any clothes outside either or the pollen will just be all over them.  Also, if a neighbor is mowing their grass, I bring them inside.

My two boys have those kind of environmental allergies. 1 of them used to be a real mess, all of the time.  3 seasons of the year due to outdoor elements, but even during winter due to the heat/dust, etc. The LIST the doctor gave us, to transform our home, and the special things we needed to buy for bedding, air filters, all kinds of crazy stuff.  I mean really, I didn’t want them to be uncomfortable, but it all seemed a little over the top for itchy, stuffy noses. (Which was all mine got.)  But he also put them both on Fluticasone (which I believe is essentially the same thing as Flonase), and they really don’t have any allergy symptoms anymore.  However…..now I worry/wonder how long they’ll be having to take this nose spray, and what the long term side effects may be as a result of such long-term use.  I keep asking the doctor if we can try quitting for awhile, but he keeps assuring me it’s not a good idea, and it is not harmful in any way to them.   
  Does the Flonase work well or your other 2 daughters?  Maybe that’s all the solution this daughter will need.

Have people experienced asthma attacks from pollen?  Our daughter had an episode a couple days after playing outside and rolling down hills.  I’m not sure that it was the cause but it does make me a little of weary of all this pollen.

My son has enviro allergies to cat & dog dander, plus outdoor mold & dust mites.

As you probably know, *the* most important area to focus on is the allergic person’s sleeping quarters, followed next by the rooms they spend the most time in.

We went to http://www.missionallergy.com and bought mattress & pillow encasements (for his bed, plus ours, since a)he comes in to snuggle from time to time, and b)we suspect my husband has some enviro allergies as well.

(Even if you don’t buy their products, check out their website for good info & strategy/plan of attack.) They offer discounts w/a dr. referral, btw.

We stripped my son’s room of the carpet & I ended up just painting & polyurethaning the subflooring for now.  It looks fine. All bedding gets washed in the hottest water for the longest cycle, then dried at the highest temp.  No more clothesline.  No dustruffle on the bed.  Curtains are white muslin so that they can be washed in hot water on a seasonal basis. (I can’t do monthly, so that’s the best I could shoot for!)
No more humidifiers (they contribute to mold growth in carpeting and fibers)

We have only a handful of stuffed animals in our house.  If they can’t be washed, they get donated.

All rugs came up on the first floor; the 2nd & 3rd plus stairs have carpeting & that gets vacuumed as frequently as possible (w/a priority on the areas he frequents.)  Wish I could say “daily” but that just can’t happen, so I try to shoot for 2x/week.

As long as the vacuum’s out, I use the rug attachment and vacuum our couches & chairs.  I usually keep a cotton slipcover on them, but that comes up when I vacuum & gets thrown in the wash too.  (We’re keeping our eyes open for a used leather couch.)

Also, I’m sure you know that cat & dog dander will linger on carpets & fibers for 6 months or longer, even after the pet has left the home.  When our pets left the house, I did one uber-intense vacuuming, threw away that vacuum bag, shampooed the carpets that had to stay (especially the places where the pets liked to lay) & made sure I kept fans going for as long as possible to really dry the carpets & padding out.

For outdoor mold, I’ll be power-washing the wood fence, wood jungle gym/fort, deck, etc. and treating it.

As hard as it was, I had to train myself *not* to fling open the windows every morning when the weather gets warm.  We keep them closed as much as possible.  Same thing here w/baths before bed, just to give hair and skin a quick rinse.

Visiting other people’s homes can pretty reliably trigger an asthma attack.  After a while you just develop a sort of “dust mite radar” when you walk into a home with rugs, fabric couches, throw pillows, heavy drapery…eek!

We may need to start back up with daily Zyrtec liquid; we’ll see.  Last week I could hear him sniffing a lot, then a few days later it was a tickley cough, which means his lungs could be affected.

Hope some of this helps!  Thank you for raising the topic—I’ll be glad to get ideas from everyone else!

I know you said your children use the saline spray, but have you ever tried a Neti Pot?  I don’t have allergies, but I use one off and on when I have nasal symptoms.  However, I recommended one to my sister who has terrible allergies and she says it has helped tremendously.  She uses it every morning.  It’s very similar to the saline spray, but it just uses gravity to moisten the airway passages.

Both my children as well as my husband have allergies.  I have done many things.  I have an air purifier with filters that you can vacuum.  I don’t have bedskirts or curtains and took out the carpeting as well.  My oldest uses a neti-pot, saline and the nasal steroid when he has a cold coming on.  He is as well as my husband on allegra year round.  His symptoms are sinus stuffiness and lots of eczema. He has a severe allergy to grass so he can’t wear sandals or go barefoot or his feet have deep cuts in them.  For the eczema I mix mineral oil and vaseline, it’s very thick but works wonders.  My youngest gets post nasal from the environmental allergies and sometimes still from food allergies (which she had MANY until age 5).  She can get away with just the zyrtec.  The only other thing I recommend is to wash the bedding, blankets and pillows in hot water.  Do not keep the pillow for more than a year it hoards yukkiness.  If your finances allow it install central vac.  it’s better for cleaning up the dust and animal hair/fur.

At 6, my 2 oldest learned to clean a bathroom (sweep floor, spray & wipe down toilet & vanity/sink, replace hand towel). I do the floor mopping and inside the toilet), they empty dishwasher (silverware basket and plastic stuff started at around 3), at ANY age they can all run around with a swiffer floor sweeper or duster (we have a dog, so any dog hair they get up is a bonus for me), Little hands are GREAT at cleaning and dusting in between the little spindles on the staircase, laundry sorting, matching socks, putting away things I have already folded, setting table, clearing table, putting away refrigerator items, picking up toys and at about 7, vaccuming. They make their beds, strip off sheets, feed the dog, and push younger siblings on the swing (somehow they got this one on the chore chart). That’s what they do around here.

I have 3 boys (and 3 girls).  the boys are 7, 6 & 4.  For the last 2 years these boys do the following chores daily:  1) make their baed every morning 2) lay out their clothes for the next day 3) sweep, vacuum, wipe the table & chairs after meals, unload/load the dishwasher (although they can’t put everything away since some of the cabinets are too high), fold clothes and put them away.

Our first ‘big” chores assignment is given on the 3rd birthday.  The 1st chore is to “pick up the big stuff under the table” and to fold hankies & wash clothes.   

I’ve also found it helpful to assign some chores for the year.  In August we change chores.  Since August my kindergartener has been assigned sweeping; the 4 year old wiping the table and the 1st grader loading the dishwasher.  (They all fold).

hope this helps.

Here’s what my 6-year old does for chores: make lemonade, dust the leather chair, dust baseboards throughout house, feed fish, empty upstairs trash.

I do but they are aging out. Time to replace them.

Julie,

Is it possible some of these peers are from the South? There it is much more common and considered very respectful for children to call adults Mr. and Miss first name, rather than Mr. and Mrs. last name. I agree that a first name without any title is too loose, but I might try asking these peers directly what they would prefer to be called, as calling someone what they prefer (within reason) is itself a sign of respect. All that said, you are the parent and know best what would help teach your kids proper respect.

I agree with the whole southern thing. Our rule (we live in NC, but both come from the North) is this: if married, Mr. or Mrs. with last name; if priest then usually Father (last name) unless they really prefer first name. With single, Ms. or Mr. first name. Some people have suggested it is okay with them if our kids use first name. It is not okay with us and I just politely say that this is an easy way to teach and reinforce respect for our elders. Most people understand and support that.

Oh, I struggle with this one all of the time!  And for me, I find the dynamics of a the relationship make it all the more complicated.  For example, a casual older acquaintance seems fitting for the kids to use Mr. or Mrs.  But when they are older folks that are as close to us as family, I get extra-confused. 
    I can tell you, I grew up with more ‘Aunts and Uncles’, than any child on earth (except my siblings), and most of them were not related to us at all!  I have found it a little awkward as an adult, seeing them after many years, and being on the spot to refer to them in name.  For ex: ‘Auntie Barbara’. Yet, even as an adult, switching to her first name would appear disrespectful, and suddenly calling her ‘Mrs’., would now come across as cold/distant.  Either could hurt their feelings. So…I stick with the Auntie business, unless I can get away with not referring to them by name. 
    So, just some food for thought, to think long term too, depending on the age gap.  Thankfully, a lot of the folks with the larger age gap, have passed on, now that I am an adult. (Well, not thankfully. But you know what I mean, I hope. ; )    )

I struggle with this, too.  It’s so hard in this day and age with hypenated names, women keeping their maiden names, and unmarried people.  Plus the fact that my son is only two, and a lot of last names are hard for him to pronounce.  I do the “Miss” followed by first name thing with him a lot, but some of my friends have told me to have him call them by their first names.  The message I want to convey to him is that it’s okay to call an adult by their first name only if them invite you to.

I always ask the person what they want to be called.  Many of our close friends have become ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunt.’  We don’t have a big family so this doesn’t cause confusion.  I figure people can tell me what they prefer and I won’t lose sleep over it.  Guess I take the easy way out!

We refer to adults as Mr. & Mrs. unless the third party establishes something else - like “Miss Lisa.” These are usually people they have a very familiar relationship with. It’s not our preference, but is ok with us. We’d be very uncomfortable having our children referring to adults any other way - with the exception of young adult babysitters and cousins, whom they may call by their first names.

I think this is a very interesting questions.  We live in Oregon, and almost all our young friends call us by our first names, which is by far what we prefer.  I can’t think of anyone here who introduces themselves as Mrs. so and so, although we do call teachers Miss Emily if that’s what they go by.  When I am in a teaching position myself, I do prefer to be called Mrs, but only because it reminds the students that I am in a teaching position, and there is a certain level of professionalism/respect that is expected of both of us.  I do not, however, want this barrier between me and my friends children.  I feel very uncomfortable being called Mrs. Sikes, I supposed because it seems to put a barrier between me and the child.  I love that our young friends call us by name, and really enjoy our interactive relationship.  We try to make it a point to play with the kids together, instead of always have adult conversation etc.  I just really value the comfort level they have with us, and wouldn’t want to change that.
I do tend to think that the calling by first name really is an Oregon/west coast thing, as my husband is from the south and says it was always Mrs or Mr.  I think that whatever people would like to be addressed as is what I would have my children call others, but I personally love to hear them call me by name.  Just my thoughts:)

I think kids need a little of both. Because we homeschooled and any mom could potentially be a teacher someday, and because at first they had few teachers other than mommy it was really important that they had someone to call Mr or Mrs to learn what that meant. Relationships that grow till the child is given permission to call someone aunt/ or first name or whatever are precious and are seen as special.

Lots of love when he comes to you. I am not sure the timeout thing would work with that young age for kind of a delayed thing. I am not a big fan of timeouts. Make sure he understands—is he your youngest? If not, maybe you can use older kids or another child to show him that when the name is called with “Come here” then they come. And then lots of love and rewards when he comes. Make sure he understands before you start with the negative consequences.

Wow, that other mother was way out of line!  As long as you spoke to the kids civilly, there was nothing wrong with what you did.  Tapping a child on the shoulder is not abusive!  Her kids were misbehaving, and she failed to supervise them, and she turned the situation around on you.  I would certainly not have apologized to her.

This kind of thing is why we avoid forced group socialization. How horrible does that sound? I won’t go to the church picnic because of the way other people refuse to parent. Oy. I think you did the right thing, regardless of that woman’s reaction. It’s our responsibility to form our children’s characters and faith. You’re teaching your kids right and wrong, how to get along in society and care for others. You’re teaching them to stick up for themselves to bullies. Sounds like the mom was a bully too. Let’s pray for her, that she realizes that her “mama bear” reaction was wrong and that she needs to teach her children how to stand in line and be kind to younger children. Those kids will grow up to be the next generation of road ragers, not caring for anyone else but themselves. Also- I will pray for you that you find good friends. We are displaced too, in a parish we don’t fit into, in a culture we’d rather not be a part of. It has taken a long time to make friends, but it was worth all the reaching out and vulnerability. Pray that God leads you to a good local female friend. She may not be what you expect… but better.

This does sound stinky.  I’m sorry you had to deal with that.  I pray that you can make the connections you need in your parish.

Dear Anon:)
I must say, my heart goes out to you:)  It’s so difficult to put yourself out there in a new community, and to have something like this happen is such a blow.  Of course you were not out of line, you were doing the kind thing for the other children in helping them learn what is acceptable behavior.  I feel very sad for their mother, to attack a stranger for no reason clearly says that she has something going on in her life that she is struggling with, and it a big way.  To have that kind of anger is such a burden.  I will pray for her, and her children. 
I’m so sorry that you had to bear the brunt of this woman’s anger.  Please don’t let her bitterness keep you from meeting nice people in your area.  I know that satan is just so happy to keep us from making healthy connections, but a good friend can be such a life-saving thing:)  I just wish you lived here in Oregon and we could go out for coffee!  Is there any organized women’s groups at your parish, or a nearby parish?  Either way, I will pray that you are blessed with good friends soon, and that you are uplifted by us on-line ladies:)  I’m glad you vented, we all need to sometimes! 

I hope you have a great evening with your family.  God Bless:)

I think I would have commented (in a very nice tone) to the cutting boys that they must be in a hurry that they needed to get in line before your children. Then I would have scooted the one separated child back with the rest of the your children in line. I would have commented (to be overheard) again that these big boys must be in a big hurry, otherwise you are sure they wouldn’t have found it necessary to rush in line between you and your brother. I would have then asked my own children if they could politely wait in line just a little longer, since after all we were just waiting for the bounce house. Then I may have quizzed my own children on what circumstances do they think it would be appropriate to cut in line. We’d talk about emergencies, etc.
Hopefully that would have been enough to avoid the confrontation with the mom.
Quite frankly, I was just in this circumstance in line at the grocery store. But the person cutting was an adult. I don’t think you should avoid social situations. Children have to learn. I’d offer a prayer to those cutting boys and their unhappy mother.

I am sure some would not agree with me but I firmly believe in letting them cry it out. For the baby, this is a bit easier. With breast fed babies, they may need to nurse more. But a doctor told me that once they are at a good weight, they can make it down to just one feeding a night, if not less. And I make it pretty late. For the 2 yo, if he(she) can climb out, this may be harder. But just stress that they need to stay in bed. Find a negative consequence of not staying in bed. And then just let them cry it out. It takes a few nights and is miserable for those nights for the parents mostly. But for my 6, we have just let them cry it out and it is worth it.

I had a similar problem with my 2 year old and 12 mo baby. What worked for us (and is probably not the answer you want to hear) is 1) I set up a pillow and blanket on the floor next to my bed. When the 2 year old got up he just came and slept on the floor next to me. Once he started doing that he never woke me up again. He would just come to my room and go to sleep on the floor. 2) I would nurse the baby once and night and if she didn’t go to sleep I would put her in the playpen in the livingroom. Although I hated the idea of making her cry it out, the alternative was me being sleep deprived, grumpy, uncharitable toward the children and suffering from mild depression. The baby isn’t going to go hungry only nursing once at night and I was much more capable of caring for the children during the day. After a few nights the baby got used to being put there and didn’t cry anymore.

If you want to avoid cry-it-out, a good book is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.  It’s not a quick fix, but if you stick with it it will work.

Lynn, Is your 2 year old getting ready to drop a nap maybe?  I always found that when my toddlers were going through sleep transitions, it messed up their night sleep because they were overtired- the opposite of what you’d think.  Often when they were going to sleep late or waking too early, it made too tired to settle in for the entire night.  You might want to try getting your 2 year old to bed earlier or shifting nap time around a bit to get a solid nap if you think that might be the problem.

I haven’t read the No Cry book but I looooooved Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weisbluth.  Changed my life!