New-Baby Craziness
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Wednesday, March 04, 2009 6:00 PM
Our little Blaise was six weeks old on Monday, which means we are close to half-done with his first three months.
During my first pregnancy I polled my blog readers for advice about what to expect with a new baby, and I’ve never forgotten one response. A mom said that she is always thrilled to have another baby, but dreads the time right after he is born. “I really hate those first three months,” she wrote.
I know this woman to be an exceptionally loving mother, and I was surprised that she used such strong wording. All the newborns I’d seen had been tiny and cuddly and sweet; what could possibly be so hard about dealing with them?
Well.
Here is a short list of what I have found hard about the first three months after a new baby is born:
1) Recovering from giving birth and dealing with postpartum hormones
2) Establishing nursing, and feeding the baby around the clock
3) The complete lack of a sleep routine
4) The baby crying because he has gas, or because he is uncomfortable in some other way, or for no apparent reason whatsoever
5) Having no alone-time with my husband because tending to the baby takes every minute of our days
6) Did I mention the nursing constantly? And the crying? And the lack of sleep?
I can’t truthfully say that I “hate” the first three months after a new baby is born (although my husband might use that word for his own feelings) but if you ask me how it is going, my instinctive answer is “uhhhhh.” I can’t wait until things get easier and I feel like a human being again.
On the other hand…
It took two-and-a-half years of trying before my husband and I were blessed with Camilla. We didn’t know if something was wrong. We weren’t sure we’d be able to have children at all. If the me of four years ago could read this post, she would roll her eyes at her future self. “What are you complaining about?” she’d say. “You have two whole children! You should be counting your blessings!”
And she would be absolutely right.
This is how I am making it through these first months:
1) Having reasonable expectations about how much I can get done
2) Accepting help from anyone who offers
3) Sleeping whenever I get the chance
4) Embracing every gadget I can find that helps keep the baby happy (slings and baby carriers, baby swing, etc)
5) Reminding myself that this time will pass and things will get better and easier
6) Holding my beloved little baby close to me, rubbing my cheek against his soft head, and remembering just how much I love him and how blessed I am to get to spend a single minute with him, no matter how hard that minute is
My pre-motherhood self had no clue how challenging this gig would be, but she also had no clue how wonderful it would be. It’s that second part that gets me through these difficult early months.
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