Sometimes my only indication that I was fighting a cold was an elevated basal temperature.  Just because you have a temperature rise does not mean you *definitely* ovulated.  It’s possible that your body was fighting off a virus and it just happened to coincide with the your fertile mucus and perhaps now you’ve begun the temperature shift.

Hi there - I think this is a GREAT question I don’t have specific prayer recommendations, but since before the birth if our second in September 2010, I have been praying daily to St. Gianna Molla (I figured she can relate ), a personal intercessor, and of course Our Lady, for God’s grace to discern His will fo rour family.  We have been using NFP to avoid, but our reasons are sort of open ended…..so we simply pray everyday and in a special way at the beginning of each new cycle that we are using NFP for the “right reasons” and in accordance with God’s will for our family.  I was very concerned before the birth of our second (knowing that we would have to avoid a new baby for some time) that because there was not definitive end date to our reason for avoiding pregnancy that we would fall into a contraceptive mentality.  Being prepared spiritually before DD’s birth and the return of my cycles, communicating constantly with each other and making a point to pray everyday has given us tremendous peace and clarity with respect to our decisions - Thank God!  Hope this helps!  Interested to see what others will add

If you go to elizabethministry.com, in their store they have a pamphlet on discerning when to use NFP.  They also have a lot of other wonderful materials for women facing challenges in their child-bearing years.

The same pamphlet for sale on the Elizabeth Ministry site is available at this website as a PDF: http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:KSEzHgs-iIgJ:onemoresoul.com/pdfs/K-DJA.pdf+Called+to+Give+Life,+“Discerning+Just+and+Serious+Reasons+for+Postponing+Pregnancy+”&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESh_cfZ3sgGZnGhiIopEF8_ItawVHctNax0FWyB2BeKiechGuMd3FOJGurZ6dFaeV0qLeK5Zh7GCy1xIpg_Bm_iWFKKCule_5NPWV7Nr_6099spowRSoW9dkBp-lXyvjbiYet4bE&sig=AHIEtbSlO06NpBy_LUwjtJmZ5AJAlWgWrg

I am so right there with you!! I have four 6 and under (6, 4 1/2, 2 1/2, 13 months) and I have absolutely zero motivation. Do you have an Elizabeth ministry or some friends who would be willing to come by a few times a week with dinner? Your other suggestions are great…I’d also put a few take out places on speed dial. It’s only for a little bit and you’re in survival mode. Just get through the next few weeks and it will get better.

Oh Seven Week!  Congratulations to you.  I have been where you are.  I have 6 children, 4 of whom were born in under 4 years and for the first 6 months of one of the pregnancies my husband lived out of state for a job and only came home on the weekends.  Here are my tips:  1) use all disposable plates/bowl/cups for every meal 2) don’t be ashamed or afraid to use videos to keep your kids safe/occupied. I used to lay on the coach on my side and the kids would sit behind my legs and watch tv.  3) Since you’re not waiting for your dh to have dinner, feed the kids early - like 4:30-5:00.  Then put them to bed around 6pm (they can’t tell time, and its getting dark early).  I always felt a little better in the evening, so once the kids were in bed, I’d try to get some work done around the house.  4) can you hire any help?  cleaning help?  even once a month?  or have groceries delivered?  When it was really bad my parents (yay!) paid for weekly cleaning service, but even once a month helps.  Additionally, put cleaning supplies in the cabinet in every bathroom, so when you have the energy/time you can quickly clean up a space. I have a 2nd vacuum upstairs so I could vacuum with out having to bring one from downstairs. I’ve also used a service like Peapod to purchase groceries.  5) If you get really behind in laundry, drop it off a the laundromat to be done for you.  Usually it’s $1-2 a pound.  So take out the heavy things (adult jeans, towels etc.) and they’ll wash and fold everything.  It’s a really fast way to get back in control.  6) Look at ways to simplify - like perhaps, keep kid clothes in a basket under your coffee table.  Or put toothbrushes in the downstairs “guest” bathroom, so you can more easily multi-task.  For a long time, I didn’t put clothes away in dressers.  I would fold them and leave them in piles on a large table in the basement.  7) Sometimes the best thing for me was to just keep moving.  So, I would often take the kids to museum where we could just walk and they’d be tuckered out.  Look for any gymnastics places that have kids open houses, library programs, zoos etc.  It was hard for the kids to just be at home all the time. 8) don’t be hard on yourself.  It is an intense season, but its only a season.  Blessings.

Oh, I remember those days!  Do you have anyone who would be willing to come over once a week and make you some freezer meals, so all you would have to do is throw something in the oven each evening?  Meals you can cook in the oven might be easier than stovetop cooking, so you can just throw it all in and lay down or sit with the little ones while it’s cooking.  Deli meat is easy, and would be more filling that cereal, but still pretty low maintenance.  I served a lot of salad as my side with meat.  My kids like the greens just tossed with some oil and vinegar, and it’s easy.  Even veggies I roast in the oven with some butter or olive oil, or even some chicken broth. (You can even roast them with chicken tenderloins so there is no cutting raw meat, and only one dirty pan) It’s all about easy during this stage. Is there a time of day when you feel less nauseous?  If so, you could do all your cooking for the day then and not have to worry about it later.  This too shall pass.  As for chores, you’ve gotten some great suggestions to make things easier, but also, I found that I needed to drastically lower my expectations for housework.  And even though your husband is busy, he may have to temporarily pick up some of the slack on weekends or whatever.  Prayers for you!

I’m with you—only 4 1/2 weeks so the best is yet to come for me but I have 6 (7,6,4,3,2,1) so my bigs are more help!  The best thing I can say is that when you have the motivation to cook, think big.  Cook as much as you can and then freeze/eat leftovers.

I don’t have any experience with this, but can they not do an ultrasound of the area?

Wow, I have never heard of anything like that before.  I would certainly think they could ultrasound, though.  One thing I would say, though, is that it seems the tear should be repaired, as a possibility of conception without a uterus in which to implant would be a major moral concern, as well as one which could threaten your life if implantation were to occur elsewhere.  Praying with you for a resolution for this situation, whatever it ends up being.

Have them draw a betaHCG and do a quick ultrasound of the mass to determine if there is a heartbeat. The blood test is.more sensitive than urine and a peanut sized embryo will have a discernible heartbeat on u/s if it is viable.

You could try contacting someone at the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha. http://www.popepaulvi.com/ They are the ones who started NaPro Technology and are very experienced in this whole area, so they might be able to advise you (even just over the phone or something.)

Dear, Deepy Concerned, I like the idea of contacting someone at the Pope Paul VI Institute.  You could also try to find a Catholic, NFP-only OB/GYN.  They are often very knowledgeable of medical ethics questions.  And, of course, most of all, find a trusty priest who can help get you through this.  I know these difficult moral questions can be very upsetting and I will be praying for you.  Jesus will get you through this though.

saying a prayer for you!
if it were me, i would immediately open a separate bank account that he doesn’t have access to. have your paycheck go into it and pay bills etc out of it. give him cash allowance or grocery/gas giftcards until you’ve gone through therapy and then if/when he proves himself trustworthy. You can’t undo what is done, but you need to protect your kids going forward to ensure your husband isn’t frittering away the money you need to pay your mortgage and buy groceries to provide them food and shelter. Do you have any friends that can help? If you were my sister or daughter I’d send you some money or a grocery giftcard or something right away-don’t be afraid to ask for help-the people who love you want to help you, especially when you’ve been scammed (but be sure to explain that you will protect the money they’re sending from being abused!)

Praying for you…

PS sorry I can’t read. You did say that you have friends helping. I’m so glad they are there for you!

AnneR, /
You have been in my prayers since your first post.

Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I’m going to blurt out what I’d say if you were my sister/friend: Get out. Go to the women’s shelter, take the kids to your parents’, whatever, but GET OUT NOW. I don’t care how penitent he acts, he’s been acting for most (all?) of your marriage. Get legally separated as soon as possible so that you are not responsible for any more of his debt and so that he is forced by court order to get a job and pay child support. Apply for WIC, Medicaid, whatever, just get away from this guy! Look, I hate divorce and broken families as much as any Catholic, but this guy has been lying to you and your children for their whole lives! If, by miracle he straightens up, you can get back together. If not, your kids are better off with minimal influence from him.

I agree with Alice.  I remember your situation very well.  You need prayers but you also need action.  Enough is enough.  Get a legal separation.  Get all the help you can get.  Make plans and preparations for whatever you need to do to get out of this siutation.  He has lied to you for the past 5 or more years and it is clear he is not trustworthy.  You have a moral obligation to protect your children.

Check you local resources.  Is there a crisis pregnancy center you can go to?  Can you access the money he has or do you have joint account?  (I think you said you had lived off of an inheritance when he was lying about not working)

I praying you have the strength to get out of this situation.

I’m so sorry about your situation.  I agree with the other posters…you need to gain autonomy from your husband financially.  His behavior is not at all in the realm of normal, and the chances of him changing are slim to none (miracle notwithstanding).  May was seven months ago….too long for you to have to wait for zero action on his part.  I’m so sorry about it all.  Prayers.

Anne… Praying for you. Can you go to your parents’, sister, or a friends’ house? From what you’ve posted,  your husband has some very serious issues. Prayers.  I’m so sorry he’s done this to you.