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Email a FriendTwo year olds are my FAVORITE! I LOVE two! They are so so so precious and even though they are prone to their tantrums and fits, it seems that it comes from frustration more than a decision to misbehave (which I see at 3!).
I do NOT believe in the term “terrible twos” and I hope you enjoy your sweet girl at this wonderful, wonderful age!
Not Always Easy
The ups and downs of parenting
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Family on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 3:24 PM
We now have a two-year-old at our house. I’m trying to focus on the positive by, among other things, rejecting the term “Terrible Twos.”
I like far better the term “Terrific Twos” which Danielle mentioned last week. Bryan and I waited and prayed a long time for our daughter, and the chance to parent her is always a privilege, no matter how much of a challenge it also happens to be.
This is not to say that I don’t understand the use of the term “Terrible Twos.” We’ve only had a bona fide two-year-old for a week now and already I am seeing that sometimes Two can be a little Terrifying.
Yesterday evening I suggested to Camilla that she clean up before Daddy got home. I mentioned a number of different tasks, one of which was putting her books away. She worked fairly diligently (for a two-year-old) and got some games and puzzles tidied up, but she ignored the books. Later I came to help her, and it took me about three minutes to put all the books back on their shelf.
Those of you who’ve had two-year-olds can probably see this coming, right? Camilla had completely ignored the books up to that point, even when I was putting them away and she was standing two feet from me, but now she started trying to pull them back off the shelf, screaming “Billa do it! Billa do it!” and wailing at the top of her lungs.
I held her hand and explained calmly that she’d had her chance to clean up the books, and that we don’t make messes out of things Mama has just tidied… but inside I was sorely tempted to do some screaming of my own. I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear my husband’s car pull into the driveway at that exact moment.
The saving thing is that while the Terrifying is escalating in our daughter, the Terrific seems to be escalating right along with it. One evening last week Camilla was having a meltdown over something so insignificant I can’t even recall it. Bryan and I were trying to keep our cool by ignoring her. Then suddenly, she realized she could see the moon through the window.
A minute earlier Camilla had been inconsolable as if someone had told her there’d be no more Christmases. Now she was as excited as if Santa Claus had brought her a pony, all because of something as simple as a glimpse of the moon. It was a joy to watch.
Ah, the ups and downs of two. It’s wonderful - and sometimes quite disconcerting - to be along for this ride.
Comments
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Posted by Beth on Tuesday, Oct 21, 2008 4:32 PM (EDT):
I too like twos! We have found that the more language skills our little ones get, the less we have tantrums and “terrible” days. In fact, our youngest will be two in a couple weeks and in the past TWO WEEKS his behavior has improved 100% because his vocabulary has doubled in that time. AND, he has learned to open the fridge and get his own cup out. I am learning that I need to work WITH his independant nature and not so much against it.
What I have also found is, my most difficult “high maintenance” children we have(3 of 7)—they are the MOST like ME!!!! Of course, I tell them time and again that I worked hard to get to be as stubborn and independant as I am at this old age…..they shouldn’t be expecting it so early!
Can anyone else see their own traits in their children? The good and the bad?
Posted by Kristen on Tuesday, Oct 21, 2008 5:21 PM (EDT):
Nothing is quite so wonderful as having a two-year-old climb into your lap, look into your eyes and then proceed to wrap her chubby arms around your neck and nestle her head under your chin. And it brings tears to my eyes each time it happens.
Posted by Emily on Tuesday, Oct 21, 2008 7:03 PM (EDT):
I’d say that my two year old son isn’t having the terrible two’s so as much as the frustrated two’s.
He just doesn’t get why he can’t juist go clicky on the computer. Why am I annoyed when he just wants to eat the fifth yogurt of the day? (he’s very good at getting yogurt cups and spoons for himself) He can’t try his hands at his sister’s physic’s set, he’s not allowed to use his ride-on horse as a stepstool or climb the desk…. When he learned how to open the gate on our fence, we placed another latch on the other side where he can’t reach!
It’s just so frustrating being a bright and handy two year old.
Oh and my heart melts when he carefully hugs his baby sister or climbs on to my lap for a cuddle and he’s cute when he pushes his sister’s stroller over to me cause he wants me to put her Down and pick him Up.
Posted by Hoo on Wednesday, Oct 22, 2008 1:36 PM (EDT):
Don’t hate me, but I really can’t recall my son (almost 10) ever having a tantrum. Then again, my daughter has had enough for the both of them. Actually, she’s still having them, at 7.5 y/o, sigh. And when she does, we definitely go for the distraction method. Lately, she thinks pretending to throw-up is the height of comedy. So when she’s in tantrum-mode, we pretend to throw up on her, and she can’t help but laugh. And we only came up with this tactic about 6 months ago, the learning never stops as a parent!
Posted by Theresia on Sunday, Oct 26, 2008 9:13 AM (EDT):
I really like the twos and have found with our 8 kids that the threes were harder-their will seems to grow stronger each day. We have a 2.5yo dd right now who is pure joy to us all but I am starting to see a few challenges such as a new found interest in making 5yo ds howl and scream and a couple of ‘testings’ - if I say ‘no’, then what? But she says and does something new and amazing each day. So sweet and so beautiful….
Posted by Rosie_Kate on Sunday, Oct 26, 2008 3:42 PM (EDT):
I love two! I think it is the most fun and least trying age! My guy is now three and a half and we have way more battles of will. He’s incredibly capable and very willful about what he wants. It’s almost impossible to distract him and he has a lot more “stamina”, if you will, for carrying on the fight. If you think a 2yo’s mind is active, a 3yo’s is even more so, and it’s exhausting to keep them constantly engaged and learning like they want to be (especially when they can’t go read a book to learn what they want to know!).
But, the fun does increase proportionately, too. All the increased capabilities and language skills translate into a lot of hilarity and fun companionship. 3yo’s are EVEN MORE “helpful” but at this age, they can actually be truly helpful (and exasperating in their diligence!).
The fun just keeps on coming!
I love how helpful and self sufficient they are at this age. But I do find that if I want help in picking up toys, I have to slow myself down and let my daughter do things at her pace, not mine.
I also find it very helpful rather than to give her a long list of things to do to give her just one task at a time and to be very specific: “Can you pick up that doll and put it in the basket? Can you pick up that book and put it on the shelf?”
When faced with a big mess, a huge pile of toys, my two-year old gets overwhelmed. But if I break the job up into discrete tasks, waiting until she’s finished each one before pointing out the next one, then she’s very helpful and can do much more.
I also try to praise her after each task is done: “Thank you for picking up that toy. Can you pick up this one now and put it away?”
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