Nurturing Faith When You're On Your Own
Posted by AGroup in Faith on Monday, June 28, 2010 12:00 PM
Q: What do you think about faith-parenting alone?
A: The resonance that this question has had with our readers (Lisa received a slew of heartfelt responses) reflects the reality that we are in a post-Christian culture.
In the early centuries of the Church, while the culture of the Roman Empire was still pagan, people became Christians individually, instead of being brought up in a Christian family. And when they converted, they were faced with the daunting task of living their faith in a family that didn’t share it. They became tangled up in all the painful permutations of faith-parenting alone that are so familiar to so many of our readers.
A classic case is that of St. Monica, St. Augustine’s mother. Another famous case is that of St. Perpetua, but for her it was the other way around. She became a believer, and her father pressured her to backslide when she was sentenced to death for her faith. It was a royally messy family situation. I could list more examples, but the point is the same: a culture that is no longer Christian multiplies the number of families divided in faith.
That’s the reality, so you don’t need to blame yourself.
Without a doubt, however, this situation is a cross for the believer. Sometimes the moral pain it causes is excruciating, indescribable. And when the pain is extended over a long period of time, it can become literally unbearable. Yet, God permits this. Why? Because he never forgets that earth is not heaven. Because he knows that as long as we are on this earth, we simply must bear crosses, because the cross, Christ’s cross, is the sole instrument of salvation and sanctification.
If God has given you this cross, it’s because he wants to use it like a plow to loosen the soil of many hearts (including your own, most likely), so that his grace can be planted and take root there.
St. Peter understood this. Remember the advice he gave women in this situation, women whose husbands did not share their faith. He basically told them that bearing this cross with Christ and like Christ is their primary God-given mission:
Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:1-4).
That’s a tall order. Don’t read it like a description of what you should already be; rather, read it as a description of what God is forming you to be through giving you this cross. It is the ideal he is inviting you to strive for, not by yourself, but with the constant and unfaltering help of his grace. In short, don’t underestimate the power of your grace-supported effort to live your daily grind with Christian elegance. That’s the lion’s share of your mission in Christ’s Kingdom.
Those are some ideas that may help your thoughts and expectations. Next week, we’ll look at a few practical tactics.
Do you have a question for Fr. John? Leave it in the comments here or .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)!
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