On Forgiveness
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Faith on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 5:19 PM
Today, our parish and school staffs came together for our annual retreat prior to the beginning of the next school year. With events in my personal and professional lives on my heart, I really savored this time to pray and talk with my fellow staff members, who feel really more like family than co-workers.
Our speaker today was Paula Huston, the author of multiple books including her most recent Forgiving: Following Jesus into Radical Loving. I had the pleasure of meeting Paula in person last spring, and have greatly admired her writing for a few years now, so today was a real treat for me. Paula led us through a series of exercises and questions, looking at common impediments to forgiving and being forgiven. She then proposed emotional, intellectual and spiritual “antidotes” to tackle each impediment.
For me, one of the most valuable parts of the morning was Paula’s question, “What is your own besetting sin and how does it distort your vision in regards to other people?” She went on to describe a “besetting” sin as sort of any overarching sin that is a recurring theme in your life, one that perhaps leads to other sins and also keeps you from right relationships with others and with God.
It’s a tough thing to sit and think about what your own personal “besetting” sin might be. I am used to keeping track of the multitude of failings that fill my days, but to try to ponder one overriding theme for them can be quite humbling. It can also make you want to run straight to the confessional! Thankfully, Paula also spoke about spiritual disciplines such as fasting, chastity, poverty and silence to help us to overcome our sins with the aid of reconciliation.
Pondering forgiveness is a beautiful thing. I think I’m a pretty forgiving person, but I also know that I sometimes harbor long term grudges deep in my heart, particularly when one of my loved ones has been hurt. In the retreat setting, we even looked at those grudges we might hold against God for times when good people experience pain and devastation, often seemingly through no fault of their own. Paula’s talk has me looking deep within at my own impediments to forgiveness, including the times when I don’t forgive myself. I’m also thinking today about folks I’ve burdened or harmed, and how I might truly reach out to them and seek forgiveness. I will be taking this to prayer and reconciliation this week, and invite you to join me if you have issues with forgiving someone special in your life.
Do you have someone in your life that you need to forgive, or someone from whom you’d like to seek forgiveness? What impediments are keeping you from following Christ’s teachings on forgiveness?
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