I would go with wood: not particle board or any other composite ‘wood’. If you put in wood bunk beds into a search engine, you’ll have many options to look at and research. READ the user feedback. That is very helpful. Also, if the bunk beds are for smaller children, IKEA makes a small bunk bed that is, maybe 4 ft to 5 ft high, but they are not real wood. Good luck!

We just put up some bunks in an L-shape and it helps address the window problem for us.  I have 2 sets of wooden bunks and one of the sets is incredibly sturdy while the other has a more rickety feeling to it.  The sturdy set has solid head and foot boards rather than slatted, so that may be why.  Hope this helps!

The little kid bunk bed by IKEA is partially wood, but it will not hold adult weights.  I have climbed on it to change the sheets and have feared it would crash.  Great for under 100 pounds, though.  We also own another IKEA bunk bed - solid pine.  It is sturdy and fine, BUT it is only a bunk bed, it cannot be used as two twins.

We got pine bunk beds for my two girls when they were about 5 and 3 years old and they are still using them.  We got them at an unfinished furniture store (I believe it was called, “Naked furniture”)  and just put some varnish on them.  They have held up well.  The girls are now 18 and 16.  However, my oldest daughter (the one on the top) stopped using the ladder several years ago because she didn’t like the way it stuck out into the room.  So she just puts one foot on the lower bed and swings her leg over.  Then she jumps down.  She takes a nap when she gets home from school (she stays up late) so this happens a couple of times a day. 
Now she is having a lot of tendonitis in her right hip (the leg she has been swinging over).  And we are going to physical therapy twice a week.  I don’t know if this is related to the bunk bed or not, but since your girls are teens I would consider how they are getting up into the top bunk.    Ours are the type of beds that can be stand alone - but unfortunately, we do not have enough room to separate them (as we also have a window problem on one side).  Good luck!

I only have input on #1: my oldest did not really eat solids until she was over 12 mos.  We tried here and there, and she’d eat a bite or two, just for fun, but momma milk was really her only nutrition until she had passed 1 year.  My mom reassured me that my brother, an absolutely massive baby (10 lb, 4 oz at birth…), did about the same thing.  No hindrance with growth, just didn’t care about solids until later than most.

Holly, if your child is not interested in eating solids, and assuming that their is no trouble with weight gain, let it go.  The HUGE advantage of a child waiting until closer to their first birthday to eat solids is that they can generally eat real food, not that icky stuff that comes in jars.  (My oldest did NOT like baby food, and when he was about 10 months old, I took a mouthful to show him how yummy it was.  The kid laughed so hard at the face I made, that I decided trying to force a kid to eat it was ridiculous.)

We recently made a transition to Samaritan Ministries (healthcare sharing).  Here’s the info I put together for family and friends who were interested in our transition.  I too have a self-employed husband and am in transition to being a stay-at-home mom after recently having our first child.
________________________________________________________________________

Just wanted to let you know about an option for healthcare that David and I have just recently learned about.  We’re presently in the process of signing up to join Samaritan Ministries (http://www.samaritanministries.org).  Their webpage has their guidelines/ handbook + a great blog regarding some misconceptions.

Here’s the gist (and reasons we’re making the change):
Each month, you send your monthly share/ payment to another individual to help cover their medical expenses- with the assumption that when the time comes that you have a medical need, others will do the same for you.  This program is not insurance and doesn’t guarantee payments, since all sharing is voluntary.  Though, unlike insurance, they’re not looking for loopholes to not provide coverage… There are a number of things they don’t cover- pre-existing conditions (unless there are no symptoms for 12 months), mental health needs, alternative medicine (i.e. chiropractors), et cetera.
For health expenses, members pay for anything less than $300, but anything over that, they submit their bills to SM for publishing to the group to help fund the expense.  The expense is published in 30- 60 days, with checks arriving shortly thereafter.  When an expense is incurred with a health facility, members are considered “self pay” and that in itself may allow for reduced rates- otherwise, SM uses third party negotiators to help reduce medical bills.
Individual expenses are covered up to $250,000 per incident, though members may join “Save to Share” for $400/ year which allows for unlimited costs per incident.  There is no limit to the number of incidents one may have.  For example, if you would develop cancer while involved with SM, you would simply submit your bills each month.
This program has been around for nearly 20 years and has ~18,000 participating households.  The cost has gone up over time, but is voted on by a board.  The current rates are still far less than most health insurances.
Most importantly to us, this is a moral and pro-life group.  They do not fund abortions or contraceptives.  They note that the reversal of a vasectomy or tubal ligation will be considered for optional giving by members.  They are supportive of maternity needs, whereas so many insurance groups no longer even fund maternity needs.  (They’re even be encouraging of home births…)
Honestly, the search was prompted due to finances.  Health insurance can be so expensive.  (Money details can be found at the bottom of this list.)  I read a number of reviews from people who said they ended up using SM when their finances were tight, but now they wouldn’t use anything else.
This is a very simple program.  After researching it for a while, I went back to pondering traditional health insurance and it just gave me a headache, sifting through what’s covered and how and when….  With SM you are not restricted to any particular providers.
SM is a very personal program- money and notes are sent between individuals and members are asked to pray for each other.
This program does not encourage government funding for healthcare- i.e. there’s a reduced rate for elderly.
Members are asked to agree to a statement of faith and Christian living (involving a signature from their pastor or someone that holds them accountable).  There are no other restrictions on membership.
While comparing healthcare sharing organizations, SM had, by far, the most positive reviews online.
Healthcare sharing groups like this are exempt from the 2014 healthcare mandate.
Money stuff.  The monthly cost is $320/ month, regardless of family size (they have reduced rates for single parent homes, young adults, etc).  The annual administrative fee = $175 ($15/ month) + $15 (for the Save to Share program).  We are also setting aside $400/ year for the Save to Share program (medical expenses greater than $250,000).  For the first three months of membership, your share per month is sent to the main administrative office, after that, each monthly check is sent to another individual- what a novelty to know exactly where your money is going…
A few cons: doesn’t cover preventative care (though neither do many insurance companies that utilize deductibles…).  Also, using this means that we will now be technically “uninsured,” though we don’t have any future plans to return to traditional health insurance, we recognize that if one of us would develop a health condition, we would most likely be considered “uninsurable,” though SM doesn’t kick you out or insist that you use Medicaid/ Medicare.  You can not contribute to an HSA in conjunction with healthcare sharing organizations.
Other similar programs are Christian Care Ministry’s Medi-Share and Christian Healthcare Ministries (previously Christian Brotherhood).  Their monthly costs vary.  They both have some fraud in their history.  Medi-Share has lots of reviews online and many are not favorable (mainly about the timeliness of payments and noting that if you have health issues, rates may increase or you may be strongly encouraged to use Medicaid/ Medicare).  For both of these organizations, you send payments to the main administrative site.  There are also a number of non-Christian healthcare co-ops that work in a similar fashion.

Here’s the article from Time Magazine that I came across last summer that first piqued my interest about this: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1992385,00.html
- here’s another I’ve since found: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36473470/ns/health-health_care/t/christian-co-ops-swap-burden-medical-bills/
- some blog posts by a family that uses Samaritan Ministries: http://inashoe.com/?s=“samaritan+ministries”
- If, per chance, you would sign up for this in the future, let them know you heard about it from us- that way we can get a discount.  Reference about referrals/ non-Ponzi scheme: http://www.samaritanministries.org/blog/?p=1436

Just some info for you to tuck away.  Feel free to ask us any questions you may have- though we’re new to this, we’ve done a lot of research.  As of a year ago, we didn’t even know that a program like this existed.

jen and david

Hi Holly! I recently went back to work after being home for 15 years.  My best advice is to start preparing your children *now*.  What kind of systems do you need to put in place and practice now, prior to you working (do you want all chores completed before any activity, will certain tasks need to be done on certain days or by a certain time, etc)?  What do you still need to teach them, so they can help out while you’re at work? Some suggestions might be: laundry (from start to finish; sorting colors, washing, drying, folding/hanging, putting away), cleaning up from breakfast, preparing/cleaning up from lunches, getting dinner started, helping to create the weekly grocery list, cleaning (dusting, mopping, vacumming, etc.) The more prepared they are, the easier it will be on everyone and the more time you’ll have, at the end of a work day, to spend together as a family. Many blessings to you as you embark upon this next stage!

Regarding the solid food issue:  I have read that for the first two years of life, breastmilk or formula provides all the nutrition that a child needs.  So that if a child is resistant to solids, they can be introduced gradually by repeated introductions of finger foods and other table foods.  After repeatedly offering whatever the rest of the family is eating, the hope is that by age 2 the child will be eating a fairly balanced diet and can then be transitioned from the breastmilk or formula to regular milk.  The other thing I’ve read is that 16 ounces/day of breastmilk or formula is the bare minimum.  My son was a tiny boy with a tiny appetite, and I couldn’t get three meals/day into him till I cut him down to 16 ounces/day of formula (he’s adopted, which is why he was on formula).  I think sometimes when babies drink too much breastmilk or formula (or regular milk), it decreases their motivation to eat solids.  Anyway, my son has a dairy allergy, so I kept him on soy formula till he turned two (although I started giving it to him from the cup instead of the bottle at around 14 months), and by that time his diet was balanced enough that I felt comfortable taking him off formula.  Hope that helps.

Could you use this to your advantage and go out with your husband for lunch or a walk when she’s there to give her some solid blocks of baby time?  Then maybe she’d relax a bit other times?

Anne, dealing with our parents who have different ideas, dreams, and thoughts on child-rearing is one of the greatest challenges of parenting.  Fast-forward 5 or 6 years, and perhaps you have 2 or 3 more children, and you are feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Having a mother who will whisk the baby away for a few hours or who would love to spend the day with her other grandchildren will be a tremendous blessing.  I know it is frustrating, especially if she seems more like a grand-“smother”, and I agree that you do need to set boundaries, but try hard to take the long view of things, appreciate her desire to be involved, and figure out how to best channel her activity.  I assume she is not local, since you talk of staying with each other, so regular/weekly “Grandma” time doesn’t seem practical.  Is it possible to schedule one Saturday night a month - if not now, then by summer when she is over a year old - where you go to her house Saturday morning and then come back Sunday afternoon?  You and your husband can have some grown-up time and grandma can spoil her rotten for 2 days.  Over time, you might come to love that free weekend.

I second Michelle. We just had baby #5—baby #1 was a huge transition in relationship with my mom but now I just so appreciate how involved she is! Try to be confident in the fact that your daughter is *your* baby and nothing will ever change her tremendous bond to you. It’s easy to be insecure or off-kilter after a baby is born. Hang in there!

I have been in your shoes except it was the inlaws not my parents.  They basically moved in after my first was born and began telling me what to do and everything I did wrong.  They were very controlling.  That brought on conflict with my husband who was in the middle and couldn’t bring himself to talk to them.  It was the worst time in my marriage.  After nearly two years of stress and strife I finally decided to set the boundaries and after that things went a lot more smoothly.  No, the in-laws weren’t happy but setting boundaries and being firm saved my sanity and my home life.

Hang in there, Mom!

Lots of good ideas here already, but here are a few things that have kept us healthy, so far, this winter.

*Gargle with warm salt water(doesn’t have to be “ocean” salty), three times, and use q-tips to put some in nostrils after being out in public.  I read that the salt helps take away the ability of germs and sickness to stick, and nose, throat and eyes are the easiest targets.
*Scrub under fingernails, every day with soap, and keep them short to avoid bringing germs in.
*Fresh veggie juices—spinach, carrot, celery, beet and whatever makes it palatable (apple, squeeze of lemon etc)
*Soup for lunch and dinner—extra fluids and vitamins

Hope your family gets better soon!

Besides regular hygiene (which can be hard to enforce in a large family with lots of little ones), I think proper nutrition, lots of time out in the fresh (cold right now!) air, & decent rest help us to keep our family healthy.  Lots of vitamin C (oranges & orange juice), lots of garlic, lots of hot tea sweetened with honey (fresh ginger tea is esp. good), & very little refined sugar.  I’d suggest alcohol (or tea tree oil) based hand-sanitizers versus those with antibacterial properties since those can tend to rob your system of the needed (natural) germs that are part of helping your body to build up resistance to germs.  For the same reason, we prefer regular olive oil soap (less drying in these cold & dry winter months) for hand-washing versus anti-bacterial soap (which kills both the good & bad bacteria). 
Good luck!

If you can afford it, I’d get some high-quality probiotics into everyone.  On top of that, I’d do a one month retreat from outings (except Mass) and visitors, just to clear the deck.  One person can do the shopping—that would be you I guess, but only at night when dad is home. I’ve done that in the past.  It’s brutal in a way, but not nearly as brutal as having constant illness in the house.

Yes!  I second Regina’s suggestion of probiotics—which you can get inexpensively from making your own yogurt or sauerkraut (waaaay tastier & healthier than what you can purchase in the stores) or by getting some kefir starter grains.

Like what Michelle R. wrote—-wanted to add that we bring hand sanitizer into Mass too and quickly use it before communion as well.  We don’t sanitize toothbrushes daily but when someone is sick they definitely hit the dishwasher.  Also don’t forget to wipe down remotes as well as doorknobs, phones, and lightswitches.  Try to keep the sick child separated (its hard when you have bunkmates or roommates) and if they are in the family room etc.  they lay on blanket/own pillows and then I spray with Lysol with they leave.  We’ve had rough years and good years so its hit or miss but I always make everyone wash as soon as they come in from school (even when they hit middle school and high school) and keep the Purell handy as we leave preschool.  Bedtimes and vitamins and keeping them well hydrated also seems to help.  And LOTS OF PRAYERS1!!!

Thanks, Moms, for all these wonderful suggestions.  I hadn’t thought of many of these ideas.  May God Bless you all (and your families) in this new year.

Hi Jen, When my oldest was 6 mos, we got her on a sleep schedule for the first time.  It’s true that she could settle herself in under five minutes - once she knew she could.  She was a very persistent child (and is now a very persistent adult).  The first night was 45 minutes of crying, even thought I had not let her sleep in the late afternoon and she was plenty tired.  The second was 20 minutes, and the third was 5.  After that, no issues and she was a much happier baby.  She still loves us, so I don’t think we harmed her with that one night of crying.  But I thought you might want a warning that 5 minutes might not happen right away.

I always recommend “The No Cry Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley for any infant sleep issues.  It’s not a quick fix, but it works.

My experiences were the same as Scotch Meg’s. The first couple of nights of screaming are harder on the parents than the baby, I think. On my pediatrician’s advice we checked our babies after 5 minutes, and then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, and so on, just to make sure the baby was ok. (It was more for me than either of my boys.) With my second, in particular, I was spending 30-60 minutes each night trying to get him to sleep before putting him down. Two evenings of crying that resulted in self-calming every night after that was totally worth it to me.

I remember having trouble getting my son to sleep at nightwhen he was that age. I don’t think that cry it out will work with attachment parenting. I used to have to walk around with him in a sling, usually outside, until he fell asleep then I would gently lay him down and pull him out of the sling.  Once thing that I wish i had figured out sooner is that you can put the babies down on their tummy- that really helped alot. I always nursed my son to sleep and then just put him down on his belly.  He slept very well at night and when he got older and I was cutting out the nursing, i started his books routine and he had no trouble going right to sleep.  I never had to let him cry it out.

I have found “The Sleep Book” by Dr’s Sears to be very helpful.  They have new information on the release of cortisol with letting your baby cry it out and the long-term affects it can have.  They give a lot of different options on how to help your baby fall asleep that does not involve crying it out. You can go to http://www.AskDrSears.com for information and on how to buy the book.  Good luck.

Highly recommend “Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child”