I understand exactly where you are coming from dk! With my fifth child, I dreaded the early nursing pain so much that I told the nurse in the hospital that I could not nurse him until the lactation consultant came. I had not had negative experiences with lactation consultants with my other kids but they had not been very helpful, either. Well, the fifth time was the charm for me because she looked at what was going on and suggested that I could only nurse in the football hold position for the first several weeks. That cut back on much of the pain; if I tried the cradle hold even once, the pain would return. I don’t know if that would help you because it is a result of certain physiology but I just use the example to encourage you to try a different consultant. The pain will resolve on its own eventually, as you know, but it would be so much better if it could be sooner rather than later.

Have you looking into the possibility of thrush?  The initial pain is a red flag that it may be thrush.  You can just ask your doctor and/or your pediatrician—if you want to avoid seeing a consultant.  You’ll need a prescription for the both of you.  Sorry for your trouble.  Ouch!

I so feel your pain.  With my second I thought all was going well, that the pain for the first few days was normal.  I ended up with an infection.  2 weeks postpartum, I was sitting there with fever and chills.  Had to get an antibiotic.  I would call the lactation consultant at the hospital where you gave birth. Baby may not be latching on properly.  Have you tried nursing while lying on your side.  Sometimes it is a little less painful.  Could be thrush—look in baby’s mouth and see if there are white “chunks” attached to her cheeks.  If so, cut out ALL sugar from your diet, start pumping yourself full of yogurt.  Worked for me with my last baby (#6)  and I didn’t need to get antibiotics for us.  Now with #7 we just got it!  Now, I am cutting out all sugar, etc…I hope this helps.  Do not give up—trust me, it will get better, but I would call the consultant first!  Prayers for you and your little one.  And CONGRATULATIONS!!

DK, I have been through this with several children.  it could be thrush, or mastitis.  Both require seeing a doc and getting a prescription.  However, they also go away, and you can continue ti nurse through and after the illnesses.  The pain is probably easy to diagnose and medicate, and once you get to the doctor, you will receive swift relief and enjoy your dear baby even more.

Hi Dk, I have intense pain for about two weeks during nursing after the birth of each of my children.  I think some people just do.  I always joke that I wish they made an epidural for the first month for your nipples. Also, I unfortunately have extensive experience with thrush, and the pain does not go away after a few minutes, it lasts the entire time.  So, probably your nipples are just getting used to being tugged on again.  (But, if it still hurts in 10 days or so, maybe see a dr just to be sure).

Also, you can use pain medication.  I used Motrin around the clock until we were past the point of latch on pain; it deadens the pain, and while it doesn’t take it away, I found it makes it much more bearable.  I will send up prayers for you today, DK.  It will get better within a week or two I bet!  Offer it up; you must be a fantastic, selfless mommy to keep nursing through the pain.

Could you give the lactation consultant another go? My now 10 month old had huge latch issues and managed to mangle me within 3 days of being born. When he was spitting up blood, my blood, I went in to see the lactation consultant and she helped me heal and him latch.

Get the baby checked for tongue tie to by an experienced lactation consultant or a ENT physician.

I’m not sure about lactation consultants either. One of my breasts hurt for over 3 months when nursing. The lacation consultant thought that a lump was a plugged duct right where my son was latching on so I tried for weeks pushing to remove the plug, then a doctor had me get an ultrasound,  then i went to a breast surgeon and he said it was just breast tissue that grew in funny. I’m glad that I kept going through the 3 plus months of pain because the next 12 months were not painful when latching. 
If I were you I’d contact the local la leche league.  Sometimes other moms are more helpful than the lactation consultants and they don’t charge any money.

I had this problem with my first baby. My doctor ended up prescribing an ointment called Jack Newman’s Nipple Ointment. Jack Newman is a Canadian doctor who is a breastfeeding expert. The ointment has to be made at a compounding pharmacy, but it helped tremendously and was the way I could continue nursing.

http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/index.php

I feel your pain, dk - literally. I had thrush for 3 months with my first, and then with my second, my nipples got so sore that they were cracked and bleeding because he had such a strong latch. Our local LLL leader was a huge help with some positioning techniques that helped, but in the end it was a “recipe” for a homemade nipple cream that the hospital LC gave me that did the trick. It is based on Jack Newman’s nipple ointment mentioned above, but it doesn’t have to be made in a compounding pharmacy - it’s 3 simple ingredients (creams that can be found in any drugstore) that you can mix right at home. I just sent it to a girlfriend last week who was experiencing similar pain with her brand-new #3, and she said it worked a miracle for her, too! So if you rule out thrush, I would definitely check this out - the recipe is a little too long to post here, but if you want to email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), I can send you what I typed out for my friend. Best of luck to you - I know it can be SO painful, but it really can and will improve if you are determined to stick it out and get the help you need. Peace.

I am a slow healer and after my nipples got sore and cracked I used a Medela contact nipple shield (you can buy them at most Targets) so that I could have a chance to heal.  This removed the pain immediately and I wasn’t tempted to put off nursing because of the pain.  After they got better in about a week I slowly stopped using them.  Some people have a problem with these decreasing their milk supply but i never did.  Hope you feel better soon!

Thanks for the advice!  Honestly, today has been better so far, though we are heading into the hard core feeding time so we’ll see how the evening goes.

hang in there mama! for me, it was only painful like that for a couple of weeks, so hopefully you are the same way and it will be smooth sailing soon!
If you are on Facebook, I highly recommend “the Leaky Boob” Facebook page-tons of breastfeeding support and even lots of lactation consultants who visit it and leave supportive comments.

It’s nice to see encouragement on patience and persistence from so many moms. I’m 2.5 weeks postpartum with my first, and everything I read tells me that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt…I just need to keep going!

Dear Attitude,

    I could write your message myself many days!  In fact, I was going to write something similar. I am looking forward to reading the wisdom from the other moms.  I just want you to know that you’re not alone.

    I do not know if this is part of the cause, but a lot of my kids have strong willed, intense, persistent personalities.  My husband is temperamentally the same. Often I meet entire families with kids more mild mannered than mine.  Others have commented on this quality about my kids, so I do not think I am imagining it.  I do notice that *outside* the home, they can easily resist negative peer pressure, and are leaders among their peers.  They are vocal about standing up for what they believe in—pro-life views, the Catholic faith, etc.  They are vocal, but not obnoxious.  One son used his persistence to gently, over a long period of time, convince a young friend to consider praying and developing a relationship with God.  That boy asked his parents to take him to church, and now they all attend.  I am not excusing their slacking attitude on chores, or their argumentativeness.  I am only saying that they apply this to the outside world as well, and that part is good.

I’m so there!  I have one child in particular who has a poor attitude but he is the oldest so he sets a bit of a tone.  I’m trying not to let it personally affect me but it does.  Interesting observation from ‘me too’.  The one I see this in is my most strong willed child.  He doesn’t do things to please others unless he sees a real benefit from it ( sometimes he sees heaven as a real benefit so that’s good).  Most of the my other children are willing to act out of pleasing others ( jury is still out on the 2 year old) so I really think it is a personality issue.  Not sure how to “cure” it.  Need to remind myself not to let it steal my own joy and again try not to get personal ( easier if I was a robot though). Sending up prayers for both of you and your children about this!

Dear attitude adjustment,
While we are called to serve our families, we are not called to be doormats for our children.

Have you listened to or read any Love and Logic?  My husband and I started this with our kiddos a few months ago.  I have to admit that I was REALLY hesitant at first, because it seems that we had tried nearly everything out there first…Dr. Ray, Parenting with Grace, etc.  L and L really gave us the tools we needed in order to keep ourselves under control, and keep us from being doormats.

I have switched all my children at a later age. I didn’t notice them crying more, or not falling asleep as easily. However, I did notice that they cried LESS because they could see more and could see the driver so they were happier. If your child is crying more, I have no idea why that would be. Yes, it is much easier to put a child in a forward facing carseat. Also, now that my six year old is able undo carseat straps, he can undo my toddler so I don’t have to. He wasn’t able to get to it when it was rear facing. (If you only have one, I guess that is something to look forward to when this baby is older and you have a new one.)

just some more info on why i’m asking this:
I haven’t switched him yet but want to b/c my back has herniated discs and he is very heavy. He sleeps in the car, in fact it’s the best way for him to nap and I can get my work done on my laptop while he sleeps.  He also sleeps through long rides to the relatives (5 hours) even if we drive during the day. His only other way of napping is in the stroller, which may not work so well when the snow is on the ground, and if I let him cry in the crib for a while but then his nap is really short too. He seems to need to be strapped in for when he stirs in order to go back to sleep. He has no problem sleeping in his crib all night though. So I want to switch it soon, but don’t want to shorten his naps.

I switched my son to forward facing at age 3.5, when he finally reached 30 pounds (which is the rear-facing weight limit on his carseat).  He hasn’t been a good napper in the care for a long time now, and turning the carseat around didn’t make any difference.  He climbs into the carseat himself, so I can’t speak to whether it’s easier to put them in rear-facing or forward.

I turned my oldest forward at 3 and he pretty much quit sleeping in the car when that happened. Rear-facing and reclined is just more conducive to sleep. It was also a big adjustment for us as he can now see us and therefore talks to us constantly (and no more sneaky mom and dad having snacks during a long drive).
My oldest has been able to climb into his car seat since before he was 2, even when he was still rear-facing. His almost-two-year-old brother, however, can’t climb up to the same seat in the same vehicle; he’s just built differently. But you might be able to encourage your little guy to try climbing up on his own if he can, to save your back a bit.

Catherine, I returned to work 3 days a week after my oldest was born.  Although I never had supple issues on the day I did not work and was able to nurse my son on demand, I could only pump once a day (lunch), and even that was difficult (my office did not have a lock and the salesmen apparently could not read the Do Not Disturb sign).  By the time he was 3 months old, I could not keep up with his demands.  I did supplement with formula.  It was very difficult for me, emotionally, at the beginning.  But I had reached a point where I had begun to set the alarm to go off in the middle of the night so I could pump then - craziness!  Sleep was so much more important at that point.  My advice, and I don’t know if this will give you relief or make you angry, is to pump what you can when you can, but to let go of the anxiety about supplementing with formula.  My son never took a bottle from me, and always preferred my milk to the stuff from the can.  During the hours I work, at least half his calories were from formula, and I eventually became ok with that.  It was a big mommy-milestone for me.  You are a great mom, and your child will not suffer if he has some formula.  You do not need to be the supermom who manages to provide all her child’s calories from pumped milk, despite working a full-time job.  Sometimes the 80% solution is just fine.

that’s “SUPPLY issues on the DAYS I did not work…”

I continued to nurse my kids after going back to work and eventually needed to supplement with formula because I couldn’t pump enough.  I found that I could continue to nurse when at home and pump a reasonable amount at work and just leave extra forumla at day care for when it was needed.  It is definitely stressful trying to keep up with work responsibilities and make enough time to pump.  There are herbal supplements that you can take to increase milk production.  One is called fenugreek, but I would suggest that you check with your doctor for advice.

it sounds like there are two issues here - supply and his amount consumed.  6oz at a time in a bottle is too much for a breastfed baby

http://custommademilk.wordpress.com/2010/01/08/the-one-ounce-per-hour-rule-of-bottle-feeding-during-mombaby-separation/

here is a great resource on how to bottle feed breastfed babies when mama is away. 

pumping 4-5 oz a sessions is AMAZING! if you’d ever want to chat more about supply boosting and whatnot, email me - i’m working on my certs in breastfeeding counseling

http://www.women-serving-women.com

I was never able to keep up with the needs of my little ones when I went back to work (amazingly with #5 and #6, with whom I was at home I STILL wasn’t able to keep up but that is a different story )  My first I tried really hard and I have horrible memories of my (then) stay at home husband callling and saying “Meg has been crying for 30 minutes, when are you getting home???”  Once I started supplementing life was so much easier—for her and for me.  I was still able to breastfeed at night and in the am but she wasn’t hungry during the day and I wasn’t stressed beyond belief.  With respect to medicine fenugreek is supposed to work and Reglan (a prescription med) are both considered safe (I am a physician) but I didn’t take either . . . just felt like it was safer to supplement then take meds.  Good luck and God bless

Hey, I had some ideas but the computer wouldn’t connect to the website so they never got through!  If you are still looking for ideas e-mail me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I own a German Shepherd.  I never assume that anyone would be OK with us bringing her along, even if we have done so in the past.  I ALWAYS ask, and kennel her if necessary.  How you handle your parents - I can’t tell you - but you are not unreasonable to think them presumptuous and inconsiderate.

We have a smaller dog and were and still are a bit offended when some relatives don’t allow her at the family reunion, mostly because we weren’t able to have kids for several years, so we only had a dog. Now that our sister has a dog that is also small but is not well behaved and in fact pees on the floor every time he is at our house and runs around and barks and jumps on our son, I can understand where you are coming from. Maybe your could just let the dog in one room and keep the door closed, do you have an enclosed porch? We never put our dog in a crate, but I hear that some dogs sleep in a crate and are “crate-trained” spending the day in a crate while the owners are at work. It doesn’t seem nice to me, but I suppose its a den for them. I think it could work for one or 2 days. Also it would be easy if you have a fenced in yard.  The reason that we don’t use the kennels is because there are often diseases spread - each time our dog gets an eye infection and once caught kennel cough. Maybe your parents can hire someone to walk the dog. There are professional dog walkers who are probably working on the holiday anyway.

It kills me that somehow, this has turned *you* on the defensive, as if *you* are somehow in the wrong!
It really doesn’t matter *what* the reason is for your not wanting the dog to come.  Expensive floor re-do, allergies, fear of dogs, general hike in level of chaos & clean up, liability in your home, you name it. Doesn’t matter, shouldn’t matter.  A guest doesn’t assume.  Pets are not people.  Heck, though, what if your folks had an exchange student or renter staying with them - would they just assume that the extra person was expected to come?  No.  They would ask to clarify, maybe ask permission, then abide by the answer given.
Sorry.  This obviously hits a sore spot with me.  And I grew up with pets & had them til just a few years ago.  (Dog died, cat sent to shelter b/c of son’s allergies.)  Coming out of the pet owner world, I cringe at some presumptuous behavior I see & think, “Smokes, was *I* like that with my dog??” 
People come first, then pets.
Thus endeth the rant.

Not that I disagree with you, you are certainly within your rights to say no to the dog, but I thought I would chime in that we have had black labs for years and they seem to prefer to lie down in their crate as long as they can see us (even when the door is open) unless they are outside. When we visit relatives (and always with their permission) we put the crate in the foyer, or mudroom, and the dog is happy. Even at home, he spends a lot of time in his crate, watching but not in the “line of fire” of the children. He also likes tp spend a lot of time outside, even when it is cold, just a comment about crates and dogs. Good luck

To offer something a bit more helpful, perhaps, than my last post:  if boarding/kennel is not acceptable to them, what about them hiring someone to either a) stay at their house w/dog or b) show up & walk and feed dog 2x/day?  This is what my folks used to do when they would visit us & allergies on our end made the issue non-negotiable.  I think they hired a reliable college student they were familiar with; however, in my neck of the woods I know there are tons of bonded/insured services that do the same.

I think you have to trust that your parents will keep their end of the bargain up - keeping the dog in a crate during its visit with your family.
Sometimes we have to stretch a little, and expand our notion of hospitality.  I have two dogs, a large boxer and a small pug.  My large boxer is a calm, well behaved fully house broken dog who minimally sheds and barks.  My pug, although cute as a button, sheds likes there’s no tomorrow and still hasn’t quite gotten used to the no pooping or peeing in the house rule.  Guess who’s always invited to other people’s homes?  The pug!  Guess who’s not? The large dog! 
Your parents should have asked your permission first before bringing the dog.  But if its between not seeing your folks or putting up with a dog for a brief period of time, I’d go for the latter.

Let me also add that I’ve owned dogs for the past 20 years and have always used crates for crate training and keeping the dogs safe in the house when not home.  There is nothing inhuman or cruel about dog crates.  Would you let your toddler roam around your house when you are not there to supervise?  Young dogs are no different.

I think it’s absolutely fine to tell your parents they can’t bring their dog to your house.  In my opinion, it’s a little ridiculous they would assume the dog could come, especially if you don’t have dogs yourself.  I own a dog and would *never* just assume she was invited with me.  That’s why kennels exist. 

I think you just have to explain that your rule is no dogs and not bend on it.  (My parents have a “no dogs” rule but because my sister would just not come (and not bring her child) if the dog wasn’t allowed, they let her bring the dog, so I feel like I’m punished by following their rules for their home.  That irritates me, in case you can’t tell.  But it’s not the no dog rule, it’s the selective enforcement.  So as long as you just tell them your rule and stick to it, I think you’re fine.)