Return of the Siblings
Posted by Daria Sockey in Family on Sunday, November 13, 2011 6:33 PM
“I can’t wait! Only four more days till Thanksgiving!”
This from a picky eater with little use for sweet potatoes, stuffing, or cranberries. I looked up from my grocery list to ask my 10-year-old what was the big deal.
“Duh, Mom! The big kids are coming home!”
She shook her head at my density, then skipped away, as visions of her two 20-something sisters and one college-age brother danced in her head.
My two resident teenagers were in pretty high spirits over the imminent arrival, as well. I paused from my inventory of onions and pumpkin to ponder the Return of the Siblings. It’s one of the best features of the Large Family System (acronym: LAFS). And one that I wasn’t prepared for, having read one sad story too many about the Emptying Nest.
Furthermore, I had difficulty recalling any huge love affair going on between the big kids and the little kids while they all lived here. On the contrary, what resounds in my memory are such immortal lines as:
“Mah-ah-om! It’s not fair! Just because they’re older they get to do what they want and order us around, and they think they’re so cool but they’re not!”
“Mah-ah-om! Would you please tell these little twerps to quit bugging us while our friends are here?”
But all this acrimony is ancient history.
Now the big kids are welcomed like conquering heroes by youngsters eager to hear about life in college and the big world beyond home. The big kids, weary from the burdens of study or struggling with entry-level salaries, bask in their celebrity status. They’ve become mentors, dispensing wisdom on everything from fashion to career choices.
And they now enjoy playing together, whether it’s a game of volleyball or a four-way video game with a few cheerleaders on the side. With the passing of time, the little kids are turning into big kids, and the visiting elders can happily shed adult responsibilities while under Mom and Dad’s roof, and become little kids once more.
There’s one additional delight my husband and I take in the Return of the Siblings.
It’s to find out that somehow, when we weren’t watching, the adult children adopted our values after all.
Child Number 1 casually refers to attending monthly adoration at her parish. (Without Mom there to prod her into it?) Child Number 2 praises a pastor whose Mass is reverent and homilies profound. (This is the one who, not many years ago, gave us that “Yeah, right” look when we urged her to listen to the homilies.)
Miracles happen.
After Thanksgiving, when the visiting big kids had just departed, my youngest consoled herself with a favorite cartoon comedy, The Emperor’s New Groove. We laughed at the antics of self-centered Emperor Cuzco. Then Katherine said, “Cuzco is just like (big sister) Bernadette, ’cause he always thinks he’s so cool.”
Well, yes, I had to admit that our family drama queen bore some striking similarities to Cuzco. But then Katherine continued: “except that Bernadette really is cool.” I had to agree with that assessment, too.
Fortunately, the next Return of the Siblings was only a month away: Christmas brought them back to us again.
Christmas Eve was different this time.
Bill and I, feeling tired, opted for Mass on Christmas morning instead of midnight Mass. The kids drove to church by themselves.
Next morning, we were not roused before dawn. It seems that after Mass, they had stayed up an additional hour, sitting around the tree and sharing favorite memories.
It’s heady stuff when kids realize they’re finally old enough to talk about the “good old days.”
I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder. These holiday reunions give us a tiny foretaste of that final family gathering where all will reunite, with no good-byes, in Our Father’s house.
—Senior writer Daria Sockey blogs at Coffee and Canticles.
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