Savoring Our Siblings
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Family on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 12:10 PM
This recent article at CNN entitled “Siblings Still Pushing Your Buttons?” came to my inbox with perfect timing today. You see, it’s almost time for my mom’s birthday and the five of us kids have been busy organizing this year’s “Chip In” gift for the world’s best mother/nana. I won’t go into details, since the almost-birthday-girl is a regular F&F reader. But suffice it to say, I have amazing siblings.
The CNN article in question looks at how we carry sibling relationships and rivalries with us into adulthood. It gives the very wise concluding advice:
If the events that epitomize your sibling relationships happened in the nursery, look at them again from an adult vantage point. If you are still bruised about the door slammed in your face, about the mean jingle your brother used to sing, remember that you just might have been a bratty little sister. Small changes in our attitude and behavior may improve our brothers and sisters as well. It’s a good idea to leave time travel to the physicists and begin to see the people with whom we shared our childhood as the grown ups they are.
I’m blessed to have amazing siblings. Even if we weren’t related, these would still be four of my favorite people in the world, simply because each and every one of them is a fine person, an accomplished person, and a person of true compassion. We each have our own lives, our own ideas about the world around us, and our own perspectives on things. But there’s a bond, a shared history (through good times and some crazy ones too) and most of all there is a true sense of unconditional love. I have no doubt that if I needed help of any kind, I could turn to one of my siblings and he or she would immediately be there for me. I hope they know that the reverse is true - that they can come to me any time for help and support.
But I also know this situation is very unique. I have friends who have had to limit contact with siblings due to old hurts or new troubles that make maintaining a relationship unhealthy or unsafe. And hurt among siblings or other family members can ache more greatly than a break in any other type of friendship.
How is your relationship with your siblings? Do you still carry those old rivalries from years gone by, or are you able to relate to one another in new, fresh ways now that you’re “grown ups”? Do you see each other regularly? Do your kids know your siblings well? If you’re an only child, did that weigh on your choice of family size? Tell me about it!
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