Rose, We still have a house in NC for the same reasons!  To answer some of your questions - we’ve decided to stick with a realtor, but negotiated her commission down.  Now that doesn’t address the buyers realtor fees, but at least ours was willing to come down and we’ll ask the same of the buyers realtor when we get to that point.  (Just something to consider).  As for transferring the mortgage - depends on how your mortgage was written, you’ll need to read the fine print.  Some are transferable upon credit approval, some aren’t.  Also, talk with your tax person - you should be able to recoup some of your losses in taxes (not all of it, but every little bit helps - right?).  Not to discourage you, but we put our house on the market in Dec 2008 and are still waiting for it to sell.  We had one offer that went all the way to closing and the morning of the closing the bank pulled the buyers financing.  We’ve rented it in the meantime, and are praying to St. Joseph ourselves!  I’ll offer up a prayer for you too!

You can definitely talk the realtor down. I’ve heard 3%.  If yours does not budge I would shop around for a different one.

Rose,

I don’t know how much help I can be as I live in Canada and our laws are very different from yours, but a couple of things to think about:

1) Yes you can negotiate with a realtor to drop the commission.
2) For Sale by owner is very common here, but it is INCREDIBLY important to ensure that you have a lawyer or someone competent to review the sale contract BEFORE you sign it to ensure that you are protected.
3) You cannot do an assumption of the mortgage without the written consent of your lender, so I would call them first. Anything done without consent of the lender can be overturned in the courts so it is very important that you have consent.

I work in real estate here and I see a lot of people in your circumstances who get into situations that actually end up costing them more money because they didn’t have the protection of lawyers or realtors and I’d hate to see that happen to you.

I know the law there is different, but look at it carefully. I"ll pray that you find a good resolution to this.

One other thought- why are you moving? If it’s because of you or your husband’s job, the company might be willing to help with some of the costs; if its for other reasons you may still be able to claim it as a loss on your taxes (I don’t know your state’s laws) but check with an accountant about that.

We have sold 2 homes by owner. I highly recommend at least trying. Here are my tips:
1) Get a good purchase agreement from a lawyer. Many law offices will just give you their form for free. You can also find these online, but getting a local one from a law office is better. (Don’t be afraid of the law stuff, the buyer’s bank will take care of much of the work as they don’t want their buyer to get into a bad situation)
2) Make your house as perfect as possible… check out home selling ideas on HGTV.com
3) Create a professional looking brochure with lots of picture
4) Make a website with a catchy name (like: GreatNewYorkHome.com) put in lots of pictures of the house and neighborhood complete with good descriptions of each. (I used a Yahoo web site maker that was super easy and cheap). Put your web site address in the paper and on your brochure
5) Be ready to work with a buyer realtor. You will receive calls the first day from realtors wanting your business, or wanting to know if you will show your house to a realtor. We received a call from a guy who wanted 3%. I offered 2% and we sold within 2 days of listing. (I should have offered 1%!!) But paying 2% was much cheaper than paying 6%, which is standard. (3% to each realtor)
Good Luck!!  Lots of Prayers to St. Joseph are a definite must!

When I lived in NH a few years ago, motorcycle week was always the week leading up to Father’s Day. So I doubt that it will be going on now. However, I noticed that even without motorcycle week, NH has a disproportionately high number of motorcycles.

Maureen,

The motorcycles only go away completely when the snow comes.  That being said, the crazier (and more….flamboyant…..) of the riders are usually only here for Bike Week, which is in June.

Welcome!  The weather here has been great!

Thanks ladies.  I don’t mind motorcycles, it’s just the craziness of motorcycle week and the huge crowds that come with it…same reason I avoid Lake George during Americade.  We love NH and used to go there regularly pre-kids,  This will be the 1st overnight in the beautiful WHites with the kids!!

I don’t see why you shouldn’t replace the ring. I’m sure many rings have been lost and replaced. I’d hang on to the original for sentimental reasons and get the new one blessed.

I agree, buy a new one and have it blessed.  Maybe you can invite the priest to your house, make a nice dinner and have him bless the new ring after you and your husband renew your vows.

I had to replace my wedding ring of 16 years after the silver wore off on the inside & I had an allergic reaction to the nickel that is common in most sterling silver jewelry.  Our rings were simple, wide, silver bands that were a gift from a friend who was a jeweler.  I purchased a silver band with the Jesus Prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” - mine is inscribed in Slavonic) engraved on it from a monastery to replace my wedding band.  Without me knowing that the ring had arrived in the mail, my husband brought it along when our family was all together out for dinner at our favorite Indian cafe, where he proceeded to pull it out of his pocket, get down on one knee, & place it on my finger.  It was very sweet.  :o)  We had our priest bless the ring.

Just replaced my wedding band this summer after my setting began to wear out. We’re having it blessed after mass in a couple of weeks.

I don’t know if this would work for you, but my husband’s ring wore through on the bottom—over the years, it got thinner and thinner until it just cracked—and the jewelry store had a great solution. It is a gold ring.  We bought a new, thicker gold band and had his old ring soldered (sp?) onto the new band.  They just made a clean “slice” on the bottom, spread it over the new ring, and voila! like new—but still his original, too.  And it looks really nice.

Wow, God’s providence never ceases to amaze me. It seems that whenever I have a question/concern, no matter how obscure it may seen, he finds a finite way of answering it for me! I have been having a weird allergic reaction to my wedding band (married 6.5 years). I was thinking it needs to be replaced, but my husband is extremely hesitant since it was blessed during our wedding ceremony, and I don’t think a normal “blessing” equates to that special blessing in his mind.  I look forward to reading more responses on this question through-out the day!

When my Mom’s (widowed) wore thru she took her band and her mother’s band and had them made into a double heart shaped pendent (her band with-in her Mom’s) and wears it on a necklace.  The jeweler suggested she have the engagement rings (hers and her Mom’s) fused together so they wouldn’t rub against eachother and wear thru as well.

My husband lost his wedding band in the ocean just a year after our marriage. We bought a new ring and the priest who celebrated our wedding Mass did the same blessing and exchange of rings that is part of the marriage rite. He blessed it during a regular weekday Mass and then I placed it on my husband’s finger with the words, “(Name) take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Just a note: The original wedding band, if you have it, is still a sacramental, so it should be treated as such, even if it is no longer be worn on the finger.

Every time I get pregnant, my hands tend to swell… but they go up and down depending on the day & time, so even getting my wedding band re-sized would not work because the new size would only fit sometimes.  Well, just last week my husband took me to the mall and we picked out a sterling silver band for relatively cheap.  The band was two or three sizes too big (so big enough to fit my fingers at their most swollen, but waaaay too big when they are not all swelled up!)  Anyway, he got some tape (something like that masking tape, but not sure what it’s called) & he wrapped it around one part of the band until it fit my fingers right now.  I just have to redo the tape when my fingers start to feel bigger.  Kind of ghetto, I know, but it allows me to have a ring that I can adjust the size of (fyi, I tried to find a size-adjustable ring like the kind I remember wearing as a kid, but no luck.  I guess that was an 80’s thing, haha!  Then I wore a toe ring on my finger for awhile, but that quickly did not fit anymore.  The taped large ring has been our best bet thus far.  And when I explained to our priest that I wanted it blessed since it was acting as my wedding band for now, he gave it a real nice blessing & asked God to make the ring a “symbol of our love” or something like that.)  I plan to wear the new ring on my middle finger of my right hand after my pregnancy is over & just move it back to my left hand next time I get pregnant & need to take off my origional wedding band again!  Hope this helps!

I’m with you—we bought our first after doing a rent-to-own deal with family. Since we didn’t have a big down payment my FIL sold it to us through the bank for 10% less and we paid that part back to him directly, no interest, in 5 years. Suddenly we had extra money once we’d gotten through the first 5.
Second house we bought from a friend and went down a notch in land size and neighborhood to have a tiny mortgage and a big house. We can afford the mortgage on one income and were able to afford the upkeep and improvements.
I don’t know about a fixed percent down though——I would have rented longer if we’d realized the interest rates would go down in the future. refinancing did get us a good rate but deleted some of our equity which we could have used for a roof leak that particular year. Getting in while interest is low would take precedence for me. That and having a fixed rate.

We don’t own a house now and I agree that it’s good to keep your payments low but I don’t think it’s a good idea to put 40% down on a house when the mortgage rates now are at there lowest and we are likely to have high inflation in the near future. However, if you aren’t savvy investors and don’t think you can beat the inflation with your cash, then the house may be a good idea if you live in an area where the prices aren’t going to fall too much lower.  If you are still worried that you might have to get out of the house and take a big loss on it than you should rent a house.  In my town a decent single family house is about 550-800K and the taxes are high; we would like to have our own place with more space but it’s much easier and cheaper here to rent a floor of a multi-family home. We definitely wouldn’t buy in this town.

A cross is a cross, Chloe, and if it concerns you and is important to you, then it concerns God and is important to Him. I am sending prayers up for you today. May He bless you with peace of mind.

I’ll pray, Chloe:) Bless you…

I’ll pray for you.  I know how hard it is as a mother to work fulltime outside the home.  I did this for 15 months when my son was a baby, and it is definitely a cross.  (In my case I didn’t exactly love my job and didn’t get a whole lot of time off, so that made it particularly hard, but then again it meant that when we finally could afford for me to cut back, I wasn’t torn about it.  Had I loved the work and had the perks that you describe, then I would have really felt torn and I know that feeling torn is a tough cross too.)

Chloe,  you didn’t spedify, but it sounds like you’re a teacher.  I am expecting baby #10, but I have to work to pay all the bills for them.  I know there a lot of arguments out there for me staying home, and I feel just like you. We tried everything for me to be able to stay home, but it didn’t work financially.  It kills me to leave my children.  God, however, has graced us with a seemingly endless army of angels, and I always rely on the saints for help.  As much as it pains me, the kids seem just fine, and I am reminded that being in the classroom is a way for me to serve God.  I don’t teach in a Catholic school, which is difficult at times, but radiating Christ to the world is what I strive to do every day.  Hang in there.  May you be blessed with a good dose of fortitude.

Simcha’s writing about exactly that today - how timely!  There’s a lot of good stuff in the comments too.
http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/making-children-pray/

I agree with Simcha’s post about praying together as a family.  My family stopped doing bedtime prayers together when I was about 9 because my mom worked the evening shift at the hospital and my dad wasn’t Catholic.  By 12, I was an agnostic at best.  Faith and following the teachings of the Church is just a part of who we are as a family (in my current immediate family), and bedtime prayers are something we just do.  An ambulance wail has us praying 3 Hail Marys for whoever needs it, Fridays all year round are intentionally meatless (we try!), meals begin with a prayer, confession is a family event about once a month, and of course, Sunday Mass is never an option.  The point is to keep faith as part of daily life, especially in non-habitual ways (like praying when you hear a siren) and especially when it is inconvenient (as bedtime prayers with hectic schedules sometimes are).  My oldest is only 13, so we have a ways to go, but he is nowhere spiritually where I was at his age.

I’d worry more if she was always instantly compliant for everything.  It’s normal (though frustrating) for there to be a point where kids will test limits - and if you can be flexible about some of it (e.g. do the dishes, but does she have to do them right now or can she choose a time as long as they get done by x time)  And at some point she’ll have to make choices and deal with the consequences.  So you can insist that the tv be off so that you have control over what’s going into her head, but maybe she can go to bed whenever and then deal with being tired at whatever activities she has the next day.  iow, you want her to learn to be self-reliant rather than parent-directed; plus, you don’t want to give the impression that blowing off the dishes is the same as doing drugs and she’s an official “problem kid” if she does *anything* that is out of your lines.  Not saying you are giving that impression, but since you said that you are worried even though she’s following your values on the big stuff, I’d try to give leeway wherever you can on the small stuff (while still making sure she contributes to the household and such).

Immediate consequences help but teens will push back. Its how they find the limit. Mine are also good about the big things but especially this summer impossible with the little things. Like laundry away. They like having it in baskets instead of the drawers. First I told her all that room in the drawers and closets meant I had room to move a sibling in with her. But she just dumped the baskets on chairs. So I took the chairs.

I need the hair dryer now so she can’t have it in her room—unless she’s willing to have me wake her insanely early.

I am sure there are more out there, but the only one that comes to mind is Barbara Curtis at mommylife.net. She is a Catholic convert and mother of 12. She does write about her children, but they aren’t young, so you might be able to relate to her.

Hi, Candice! I’ve tried several times to post a list of blogs that might interest you, but my post keeps being rejected (I’m hoping not putting them in will allow this). If you’d like, click on my name (it should take you to my blog). There are several blogs on the left hand side - Te Deum Laudamus, The Anchoress, Accepting Abundance, Little Catholic Bubble, Elizabeth Esther, Among Women - all wonderful bloggers who are writing about matters of faith adn woman’s heart. Puruse their blog rolls, too. I’m sure you’ll find much to answer your heart. Honestly, I’m not sure there are many women 60+ blogging… perhaps you’ll have to start your own! Good Luck!

Candice, here’s another blog I just found by blogger Terry Fenwick - Saint in Training - she’s almost 80 years old and delightful!

http://terryfenwick.blogspot.com/

Te Deum Lauamus! (Diane M. Korzeniewski)
http://te-deum.blogspot.com/

Little Catholic Bubble (Leila Miller)
http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/

The Anchoress (Elizabeth Scalia)
http://www.patheos.com/community/theanchoress

Accepting Abundance (Stacy Trasancos)
http://www.acceptingabundance.com/

Among Women (Pat Gohn)
http://amongwomenpodcast.blogspot.com/

Elizabeth Esther
http://www.elizabethesther.com/