After a particularly htt and brutal day apple picking with my young children, my three, almost four year old told my DH that we went to the “apple torture.” 

On another day, while on our way to the chiropractor, this same child corrected a younger sibling telling him that we were NOT going to “firecracker,”  but the “chirocracker.”

lol

My 2 yo went through a phase where he called people a “check book”...the ultimate insult apparently

My 5 year old pronounces “lightening” as “lightling”, and girls as “girlers”.  He also calls “yellow” “lellow”. 

When I went to the chiropractor for my back problems my kids asked why I would go to “choir practice” to help my back.

The school patrols sit with the Kindergarteners during the school Masses.  One week I asked my son who he sat with at Mass and he said, “One of the Controllers.”

My almost-2-year-old is right in the middle of this and it’s so much fun. This morning for breakfast he had “marshmallow trevors” (treasures—generic Lucky Charms). He also loves “Windy-a-pooh”. And the pronoun issue, “Pick my up, Mommy. Get my more milk.” He and his older brother both said “cheppit” for ketchup for awhile, I miss that one. He also is the one baby I’ve known who says “yes”; lately “yeah” is starting to creep in and we are resisting! And my favorite, his constant labeling: “There’s baby Sam, Mommy. He’s have eyes. He’s have a nose. Mommy have a nose. I have a nose too.”

My 3-year-old has a couple of good ones lately too: if it is thundering or loud, he suggests we “plug in our ears”. And he uses “company” as a verb meaning “keep you company”, as in “I’ll stay and company you while Daddy goes to the store.”

My 5 year old pronounces “construction” as “instruction”.  Also for the longest time he called “Nebraska” “InNebraska”.  Probably because when we were travelling we’d say “we’re in Nebraska” but then he’d see signs and say “those have the big N for InNebraska”.

my youngest used to say “sweep the table” instead of sweet potato.

My favorite was one of my older children (isn’t is horrifying I can’t remember which one), would ask for a piece of water whenever we passed a water fountain.

My 5-year-old asked me last night what his real name was. “Well, it’s Peter, of course!” I answered. He thought a minute and said, “Well then, what’s my username?” He was really asking what his middle name was… I guess it’s time to limit his computer time!

The twins pronounced Tootsie Roll emphasizing “Toot” and pronouncing it like “toot” your horn. I really miss that one. Right now the one I’m trying to hold on to is our 4 year old pronounces his brother Tyler as “Tywered” (hope you can figure that out). I know the day he can say Tyler it will mean he’s a big kid. Makes me kind of sad.

My son used to say “checimal” for “chemical.” My daughter, who spoke early and very well, still says “scub-a-dubby” for “spaghetti.

my 2 yo used to ask for “gasoline” when he wanted vasaline for his lips.  Same kid a few years later while doing a skit at school where he had to dress like a penguin and stand behind a bus cut out like they were riding in a bus. Did not want to do it.  When we asked how he liked doing it he replied” this is going in my box of stupids” . I think he wanted the memory there, as we do not have an actual “box” where we put stupid things. perhaps we should.

When my son was about to turn two and I brought out our stuffed reindeer for Christmas decorations, he kept calling them “raindrops”.

From my child who had temporary hearing problems and ended up in speech therapy for years….yaukuh vay (like this), sak-uh-puhtaymay (sack of potatoes), hammy (hamburger).  And…maybe we don’t enunciate well here, for some reason most of my kids had a b/v problem.  cavin, cavinet, etc.  When my 2nd grader learned to read the word “cabinet” she asked what that was.

My younger cousin (who is now a teenager) used to call music “nunack.” We realized he could say it correctly one day when my aunt wondered aloud, “Why does he call it nunack instead of music?” He responded from the backseat, “I can say music! Music, music, music.” Nunack was gone from then on.

When I was little, I used to say pol nailish instead of nail polish. As much as my parents corrected me, I know they were kind of sad when I finally figured it out.

When my daughter was three (6 now) she would tell people her birthday was in Septober.  Her birthday is the 29th of September so I would always laugh and say it is right on the border of being in October.  I miss hearing that!

One of the cutest I ever heard was not from my own child, but a friend’s.  We lived on the third floor of an old-fashioned New England triple-decker, and they lived on the second floor.  The kids would go up and down, even at young ages (we all moved before they were school age).  One night, the downstairs dad came up to fetch his son, who did not want to leave.  Dad was implacable, and picked up the boy.
“Pick me DOWN!  Pick me DOWN!” he yelled.
All the adults cracked up, and the poor dad nearly dropped his son…

My DS would sing the Bumblebee song and would say “Won’t my momma soda proud of me!”

Just this morning on the drive to their schools, three of the boys were quizzing their third grade brother on his spelling words for his test today.  They know when I ask them their spelling words, I always say the word, use it in a sentence, and say it again.  So the first grader chose a word from the list and said, “Alike.  I’m sayin’ alike you.  Alike.”  (And his brother somehow spelled it correctly!)

My daughter, almost 5, used to pronounce helicopter so that it sounded like “hair doctor”.  It took us forever to figure that one out!  We vacationed in Chicago this summer and she is now happy to report that her favorite building is the “Serious Tower” (Sears Tower).

My 4YO is getting over saying “swandwich” and it makes me sad. :>)

I echo the sentiments of StephC! These little funnies need to be written down because they tend to vanish from my mind so fast. Currently, all I can remember is my now 13 year old, at 3 or 4, calling figure skating “finger” skating and an umbrella a “rainbrella”. My 5 and 3 year old say malapropisms on a daily basis, but my mind is full and alas, I forget too easily.

My favorite is when a girl in my Kindergarten class tells me about her friend Matt “U” .  Adorable!  Another is “Pasghetti” for spaghetti or “Hospitable” for Hospital.  When I had a Joseph in my class two years ago one of the boys called him Jophus.  My nephew’s 4 year old son calls my son “Joe Face” instead of Joseph.  That is hilarious.

Recently, as we were finishing dinner, my 7 y/o daughter sat back, patted her stomach and said, “I am STUCK UP!!!” (instead of stuffed.) I have actually thought of making a scrapbook page of both my daughters’ -isms.
iseem-ice cream
ballella-vanilla
shoolk-milk
smoker-tail pipe on a car
cal-o-pee-uh -caterpillar
newseum-museum (The Smithsonian was known as the stuffed animal zoo.)
St. Jofes- St. Joseph

Fortunately my youngest is 3, so I have a few years left with her. But, every time one of the words has been pronounced correctly, it’s been a sad moment in my heart, because they are one more step out of being little.

I mourned the passing of “hoppy- grass”  (grass hopper)

our nearly 4yo says “him’s a good girl” = there is no “her” yet, so they’re all “him”

My daughter called a comforter “big covers”.  My son called the washing machine the “wetter”  We still use those terms today because we thought they were just so cute.

My almost 5yo just recently stopped saying his last mis-pronounced letter sound: He always counted “one, two, flee” but now says “three” correctly. I WAS a bit sad. I also miss him leaving “S” off of words that started with s and then another consonant: skunk was “kunk” and spider was “pider” for example. But at least my 21mo old dd is now saying understandable words and is hilariously cute!

My oldest daughter used to say “guffa” for breaKFast, my youngest (son) would say “eyes on, eyes off” instead of eyes open, eyes closed. And Nintendo was the “pretendo”

messinin

One night, while praying before bedtime, my 3 year old was repeating the prayer, sentence by sentence.  I said, “...and we pray for all our Bishops;” in which Adriana replied, “and we pray for all the bread sticks” : )