Lisa my younger brother is preparing for his first oversees deployment since joining the Army Reserves out of high school.  As each day draws closer to his deployment to Afghanistan, my anxiety level increases.  I keep my brother, his wife and their four young girls in my prayers constantly.  I have been trying to gather family as much as possible while he is still here and to host as many family dinners as I can.  Besides prayer these are some of the other things that I am doing or will do for him before he leaves for something like 400 days - purchasing a digital camera so that he can email pictures, purchasing recordable books that he can read and leave for his daughters to listen to so they can still hear his voice whenever they want to (there is a great organization that also does this Operation Record a Story/United Through Reading) and just reassuring both my brother and sister-in-law that I am here for them no matter what.
I will continue to pray for all those who serve and protect us near and far.

We are a military family, (hubby is an officer in the Navy). I don’t have specific ideas that you could do for the mother’s whose sons are heading to boot camp soon except to keep them in prayer, assure them of your prayers and show to them gratitude for raising young men willing to serve and for them stepping out of the way when he chose to serve! Once the men head out to where they are going offer to send a care package or something. Though my boys are still young I’m sure if one of them were serving I would be comforted to know that others are remembering them in prayer and sending them comforts of home every once in a while!

On a more tangible level for the current military community the USO has their wishbook for the holidays and all donations go to either troops with boots on the ground or families left behind at home. Their website is usowishbook.uso.org

It is a good reminder that we as parents do need to get out of the way occasionally and let our children make decisions that they feel is right and just. God bless those young men.

We are a proud military of 10yrs we have 4 children together and have endured multiple deployments. being without our loved one IS hard especially on Christmas, one special way we remember our family member is by having our children make a Christmas ornament of him and hang it on our tree!

While I have no children serving, we live near 29 Palms Marine Base. We often have young men over for meals, game nights, swimming etc. We’ve met some at Mass and have had their buddies over afterwards too. My daughters have also been ‘Mother’s helpers’ to Military wives/moms while Husbands are deployed. Prayer is a huge part we try to play in our support of the troops too.

I’m just a military wife, and I’m sure if my boys (or girls) choose to serve in the military, it will be emotionally difficult.  I can’t think of anything concrete to do or give the families (except a webcam if they want to skype?)...prayer of course.  Not forgetting her worries weeks and months down the road (out of sight, out of mind for many and it was always painful when people would say, “Oh, he’s STILL deployed?” when I still had months to go).  And helping her find resources later on…for example, there is a support group for family members run by the Army.  I’m sure other branches have their own.  When I attended one years ago, the vast majority of the people there were mothers of soldiers.  Did you know that the military has its own Archdiocese?  I checked their website, but didn’t see any links that seemed useful, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have resources and helpful people.

I have 5 sons.  The second one has enlisted in the National Guard and is focused on a career in the military.  After spending all summer training at Ft Benning, he came home a different man.  I’ve always prayed for my children to know their vocation, their passion, what Our Heavenly Father created them to be.  We don’t always get to pick it, but must support it.  God bless all who serve and are waiting to serve. 
We can never forget those who have served before.  Visit a cemetery on a holiday and tend to the graves of the veterans.  Take some flags along and replace those that may be worn.  Support efforts in your area to collect and send care packages.
If you personally know a deployed soldier, save magazines and such and send them care packages from home.  If they don’t have a need, there are many troops who don’t have anyone to send them packages.
Most of all, pray.  Pray for our country and our leaders.  Pray that those who serve can do so with honor and return with dignity.

Our family (7 kiddos) weathered our first year long deployment last year.  The best “gift” anyone gave me was their time.  One friend came over and cleaned my bathrooms (my least favorite chore) every other week for a very reasonable price, one watched my youngest kids every other week so I could buy groceries ALL BY MYSELF, one invited us over for Christmas eve dinner, making an otherwise dreaded evening fun for all of us.  These gifts meant the world to me and went on for the whole year.  If you want a tangible gift, buy movie or restaurant gift cards.  For those who are deployed, homemade goodies, cards and magazines were much appreciated by my husband.

My husband is retired Army. Our oldest daughter is in the Coast Guard and daughter #2 is a Marine. The oldest has not had to serve overseas but the younger went to Iraq and Afghanistan twice. It is a scary time for a parent especially as a Mom. I found it much harder for my daughter to be sent to these places than for my husband to go. Daughter #2 told me once when I was feeling very stressed over this situation that she had a much greater chance of being killed by a drunk driver here in the states than she did going to Iraq. Somehow that seemed to put it in a different perspective. She is absolutely right. We have known quite a few military who came back from a war unharmed only to die here in the states in an accident of some kind. Just recently one of our parishioners (who was in the Air Force) was killed on his way to work by someone who went through a red light. He left behind a wife with three children.

Being in the military is often a good thing for young men (and some young women). It helps them mature and become better adults. Unfortunately the price some of them pay is very high. Will be praying for these young men.

I have no suggestions for the specific situation that you described. However, as a young military wife I can tell you when my husband was gone the kindest thing that was done for me was when one of the ladies at church offered to walk my baby; who was 10 months old at the time so that I could partake in Mass.

My son enlisted in the Army National Guard this past May and has just completed his initial training.  We military Mom’s are a unique bunch.  We are so proud, and become fanatical about writing to our son’s incessantly during Basic Training. It helps so much if you could write a few lines to our Soldiers in Training. It is their only link to the outside world for about 10 weeks. Taking us out for lunch, or doing other some other kind gesture helps us to take our mind off of our Soldiers.  I was fortunate in the fact that I am a teacher, as I was off for the summer when my son went to Basic Training.  During his AIT training I was the one he texted incessantly when he was free.  I felt he did that because I supported him with a letter every single day he was away.  Acknowledge how proud we must be, because we are.  We are also a little fearful, and can use prayers, not only for our son’s, but for our families too. Being a Military Family is a unique experience.  In the next few years we don’t know if our son will be deployed.  The biggest gift we can receive is support in the form of letters, prayers and kind gestures.

I’m not from a military family, but I was thinking that families might be comforted by knowing that you were sending letters, care packages and prayers to their deployed family members.  Maybe a spiritual bouquet, something like “I will remember you every week in our family rosary”?  Or maybe a Mass enrollment?  Thanks for this article, you’ve inspired me to send a Mass enrollment to the family of my friend who’s being deployed in January.

letters, care packages.  spiritual bouquets, mass enrollments.

Hi Lisa,  Good topic and very practical ideas from your readers.  My son is not yet deployed (He’s an Army lieutenant) but we’ve known many others along the way who’ve served.  Our family prays every night for these brave young men and women—and especially those who come home bearing injuries and scars, both emotional and physical.  When you meet a soldier—-whether in an airport, the store, or anywhere, do remember to say “Thanks.”

I know I come late to this thread, but my oldest son is finishing up a five-year tour in the Marines and my nephew is finishing up a four-year tour, so I thought I had something to add.  Here are the things that have helped our family:  people asking how our son is doing.  This is so simple, but it makes such a difference to feel that people care.  Prayers.  If you know the family well enough, care packages during boot camp and later on, especially during deployments.  Donations to the military archdiocese and USO.  Be supportive of this decision, both for the parents and the sons.  My nephew dropped out of college because he was wasting his time there; my son said he didn’t want to go to college, and signed up right out of high school.  Both now see the point of college and will not waste their time, but concentrate on getting an education.  The military experience has taught them many life skills and led them to a clearer idea about what they want to do.  The most touching moment I have had in these (almost) five years was coming back to my car after grocery shopping, and finding a “thank you” note under my windshield - someone I will never meet saw my “Marine Mom” bumper sticker.  I still have that note on my refrigerator.

scotch meg - thanks for sharing your story too.  I often say thank you to those I see in uniform and always to the elderly WWII vets (you can tell them by the hats they wear proudly).  Next time I see a bumber sticker like yours I think I’ll leave a note for them too.  Prayers always.

A friend forwarded this link to me, as my sons are Marines.  The middle one is currently deployed to Afghanistan.  Lisa, you are right—we military moms are a very proud bunch. And we pray a lot.  We need to entrust our children to the Lord and keep on going every day—but they are always on our hearts and minds.  I “second” scotch meg’s suggestion—Ask us how our children are doing, what do we hear from them, etc.  Let us know that you care.  It seems that this is an invisible war for most Americans who have no connection and no idea what the soldier’s or Marine’s daily life is like.  Also, ask your parish priest to include a prayer of intercession for our servicemen and women on a regular, continual basis.  Please pray for their physical, mental, and spiritual protection.