I tell mine, “I can’t understand you when you whine” and make them repeat themselves until they can speak properly. That goes for whining, baby talk (my 4yo is constantly imitating his 2yo brother and driving me nuts!), not using proper manners, etc. Also I try to make an effort to notice and praise when they do it right the first time. It’s not an overnight solution, but they’ll get it. Good luck!

Try using “are you talking to me, please turn your voice on.”  I’ve also tried to whine back to them, my kids didn’t get it either.  :(  Sometimes I’ve noticed it is because their emotions are so raw and they don’t know how to handle/cope with what they are experiencing.  If that might be an issue having printed cards or a face that you place on the emotion (mad, frustrated, tired, happy, etc) expression on it might help.  You are doing a great job, please don’t get frustrated yourself, this is what is getting us to heaven!

We have huge whining issues here too. I have had a little luck with practicing both voices with them. First, when it’s not an immediate issue we all do a whiny voice. Then, we all do a happy voice. It’s fun for them. When I hear them whining after that, I can say, “Don’t use your whiny voice, use your happy voice!” in a chirpy way. If they can’t do it the first time, they have to keep trying until it’s a better voice. If it melts into tears, they sit on the steps or in their room until they feel they can come to me and do it right. I use this for the 3 and up kids.

Oh, the whining is ANNOYING, isn’t it? I try telling them “I don’t speak whine.” They have to repeat themselves in a semi-normal voice. It sort-of helps.

I would have a practice session when your toddler does NOT want something. You need to actively teach him his “asking” voice. Rehearse the asking voice in non-asking situations. Then, when he whines, say “use your asking voice, not your whining voice”.

Dear LauraL,  I’ll swap prayers with you!  Our 16 yr old sophomore is not doing very well at his private school.  He is off and on academic probation list.  He’s been offered help, but just won’t do his work.  We don’t really have any idea what to do anymore.  I refuse to do the work for him.  I really don’t want him living in my basement as a 40 yr old, still expecting me to do for him!!  I can give you some hope, though, (and it is the same one that I hold on to), my father was a crummy student.  Never, EVER did well in school—but he made himself into a successful businessman and was able to retire in comfort after 45 years in his field and passed the company on to his son (my brother).  Prayers for you and your son!! God Bless You!!

Same boat here with my 16 year old son!  He’s never been able to keep all his ducks in line for an entire semester - either he’s failing one class or another.  I feel the same way as you ladies - it’s up to HIM to get his act together, not me.  I will do everything I can to make sure he gets to school, the rest is up to him.

LauraL!  I’m so sorry you’re going through all this.  With Sharon, I have a word of hope: my brother graduated from high school with all D’s (out of pity) and now: he’s just gotten a phone call from the mayor of our big city saying that he’s about to get a medal of honor as a policeman, he’s run four marathons, he’s married with wonderful children and he’s just an all around great guy.  In fact, he was an all around great guy in high school, everyone loved him, it’s just that our educational system wasn’t designed with him in mind.

Hang in there, LauraL. My husband was a classic underachiever in high school. Part of it was laziness and part of it was him deliberately tanking his grades to stand out from his valedictorian older brother. He didn’t blossom until college, when everything was finally REALLY his own responsibility and he finally found something a topic he enjoyed studying. He now has a PhD and is an Associate Professor of History at a Catholic university.

We like the Danger Ranger dvds for teaching basic safety rules for various situations (water, fire, stranger danger, etc.).  You can get them at Amazon.

Here’s an article that might help:
http://sadie-nachtigal.suite101.com/teaching-children-about-safety-in-cities-a196091

And here’s an organization that might help:
http://www.kidpower.org/

Good luck!  I hope you thrive in your new environment.

I absolutely LOVE The Safe Side video and we have watched it several times as a refresher course when needed.  It breaks adults into 3 categories: “Don’t Knows”, “Kinda Knows” and “Safe Side Adults.”  The ONLY “Safe Side Adults” are ones your parents tell you are “on the safe side”.  Avoid “Don’t Knows”, obviously.  And then it discusses how children should handle interactions with “Kinda Knows” - these are anybody from the mailman you see everyday to the soccer coach to the man who works with your dad.  http://www.thesafeside.com/

Not much to add, but I wanted to second the dvd The Safe Side.  We borrowed it from the library.  I think it’s most appropriate for ages 5 and up because it is presented in a “cool” sort of way.  There are some lines I wish they didn’t use in there, just phrases like “whatever!” and stuff like that.  We are very conservative with what we let our kids see—backyardigans is about as crazy as it gets around here, and I felt overall that the good outweighed the bad, but I wouldn’t want them watching it daily, if that makes sense.  There was a silly few seconds where a Chihuahua is flying on a broomstick, but like I said, nothing too over the line.  I got the dvd recommendation when I took the class our archdiocese makes any workers or volunteers who work with kids in the diocese take.  God Bless you and your family!

I think it is important to teach your kids that it is okay to talk to strangers, but not okay to go anywhere with them. Strangers can help kids when they get lost, or they can be new friends. The other day, I was at a park with my daughter, and tried to talk to a child my daughter was playing with. The little girl wouldn’t talk to me because I was a stranger, and her mother supported that. That seems absolutely ridiculous to me.

Here are a couple I have seen:

http://lifeasmom.com/2012/02/free-boy-friendly-valentines-printable.html

http://www.skiptomylou.org/2012/02/04/valentines-rolo-rocket/

Both of these are combo card/treats.

Not sure if you are looking for more crafty or homed, but we just bought a big box of Spiderman valentines with holographic stickers at walmart for my son to take in to school.

Hate to say it, but for 10 yo boys, they’re usually not that into the crafty part of it.  Most stores sell “boy” valentines, with sports, animals, Star Wars, etc.  Usually they’re pretty cheap.  I know, not the same as making them yourself.  I supposed you could always look at the boxes of boy valentine’s for ideas, then hit the craft aisle - sports and animal stickers are pretty common.  I have 4 sons, we usually just go with the pre-made ones.

Maybe you could buy a pack of temporary tattoos at a party supply store-wild animals or assorted sports balls or something-and then attach a tag (or write on the back if there is room) that says “Happy Valentine’s Day” ? I also saw some cute ones on Pinterest that had a variety of tiny plastic animals on construction paper where a mom or kid had written “I’m wild about you”.

Hi Michelle, i am not too Techy so I don’t know specifics about filtering—most up to date computers do have something already “inside” them, if that’s the correct term. What I really wanted to share is that especially with your child being so young, it is very important that computer access be monitored. Don’t let it become the default activity. It should be in a central location. My kids are 17 and 9 and we have one computer in the dining room, everyone coming and going.  No TVs or computers in the bedroom or where I can’t see/hear it. I know immediately if someone is looking at something not appropriate. As they get older, they like to go on different sites which may be ok, but you never know, they could click on an ad and in a few clicks be somewhere they shouldn’t be. I got AdBlocker (I think) a few months ago and it has eliminated lots of junk. It is free, but the young man who invented it requests donations.  If I can remember more info about it I’ll post.

Hi Michelle,
We have used Net Nanny for a few years and seems to have worked well for us.
There is an annual fee.

We use Safe Eyes.  I think we pay annually or semi-annually.

Check out http://www.KateWicker.com. She’s one of my favorite Catholic blogger and was on bedrest for much of her most recent pregnancy-her 4th child-while also homeschooling her older girls and might have helpful insights. Candy from http://www.thelaughingstork.com was on bedrest for a while too and I remember her writing some funny stuff about it last year-might be good stress relief! I haven’t been there myself, but I’d say to accept help whenever it’s offered from friends and relatives, and seek some out if none is being offered!Good luck!!

I can relate only a little, but hopefully something will help.  I was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia after baby 8 was born 2 months ago.  I wasn’t on bedrest but wasn’t allowed to do anything other than care for our newborn.  1.  Since kids do much better with routine, making a loose schedule helped a lot.  Reading for 45 minutes together, then letting them play awhile while you help someone with schoolwork, switch, then a cartoon, then lunch, then rest time, then some one on one time with mom, maybe project time with the 10 or 12 year olds, another cartoon, etc.  2. Lots of reminders drom dh, and him expecting help from them in the evening to reinforce this.  3.  Use your warm body where you can (dishes, laundry, mac-n-cheese)....don’t add stress though, if it’s a fight…it’s harming you more than helping.  If you can’t get WB to pull the weight be sure to reward your 10 & 12 year olds in some way for all the work they may be doing. (as simple as a movie for just the two of them?)  We have 1 child in particular here who is the most helpful kid I’ve ever met, but he does feel taken advantage of sometimes.  4.  Accept outside help and meals.  I didn’t at first, thinking my kids could do it, but I was already expecting so much.  Praying for you.  Guessing things are going to extra stressful for everyone, and that never helps a mamma with high BP.  *my word is progress*....that’s what you’ll be doing, making slow progress.  Oh, BTW:  I signed my young kids (4, 6, 8, 10)  up for http://www.readingeggs.com  Saw it on here recommended by someone.  They love it and I will not worry about their reading programs for a few more weeks (other health issues delaying our return to normal routine).  I feel good knowing they are making progress and may not even need to finish the book program we stared, we’ll see.

If you don’t have family that can help consistently, I would look into hiring a mother’s helper. Put feelers out at your parish, homeschool groups, colleges/universities with early ed or elementary ed programs. I think it would be hard for me to rest as much as I needed to if I was worried that I was putting too much burden on my tween kids. Think about what time of day would be best to have help. Breakfast to naptime, late afternoon to dinnertime? You mention that your husband will be a big help when he is home. Does he cook, is he home weekends? Could he and your daughters make 5 days of meals on the weekend? Or maybe get any meats cooked or prep work done. I know you have a large family, but even so, if they could roast several chickens, brown up some hamburger meat etc, it would go a long way in having some prep done. I would imagine another big help would be to plan and do as much as possible before bed when your husband can help. Have all the kids lay out their clothes, plan breakfast and lunch and prep anything they can, pick out snacks and drinks for the next day, maybe even prepack boredom bags so you and they know where they can go when it strikes. And the weekdays will definitely be tough. Maybe plan a special treat every single weekend so everyone knows they have something to look forward to. And you can remind them, “We know it is really hard but it is so important right now. We appreciate all the work everyone is doing and you will be rewarded on Saturday.”

I don’t have personal experience with the ladycomp, but I have friends that use it and love it.  They have all recommended it.  I have also read praise for it on many NFP friendly web-sites.  If the need arises, I would like to get one, but for now its old school paper charts for me.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I had never heard of these and will investigate these. I too would be curious as to anyone who has used these. As a Mom of 4 very young children, I feel very overhwelmed right now and would like to postpone any other additions to our family. This might be an option. THank you again for sharing.

Sandra, if you go to onemoresoul.com, you can look up a cd by a woman named Patty Schneier. The title of the cd is “Prove it, God…And He Did!”. She had the same issue as your husband, saying the Church should just “stay out” of her bedroom and her personal life. And then, she had a “conversion”. The cd is her telling how and why she changed her mind. Although it is from a woman’s perspective, because the issue is the same, you might find some help. She is very easy to listen to. If your husband is not willing to listen, maybe you can listen to it, and find some points there with which to approach him. I will keep you in my prayers—it must be very difficult to go through this.

Send me a link to your site!  What do you sell?

I don’t have etsy experience myself, but I have seen a lot of people advertising on Craiglist.  Post an ad with pictures of a few of your items, give a link to your etsy shop, and describe the rest of the merchandise you have there.  Seems like an easy, cheap way to get word out.  good luck!

I would so be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes!  Prayers!!  (And if its any help to you, I often remind myself that if I wear myself out with enthusiasm/stress/worry/excitement *beforehand* I’ll have less to pour into the endeavor later.)

Prayers for you, chomping. I am the same way. Everytime some change comes, I obsess over it, google it, and drive my husband nuts, too. Each time I was trying to get pregnant, I would be scouring websites for two weeks looking for some magical early sign that would tell me as I was so impatient to wait for the stick. I always knew that my body gave no early signs but that didn’t stop me from making myself & my hubby crazy. So I hear you on the patience issue.

Make sure you get the St. Jospeh kit. I have yet to hear of it failing. My parents sold their house in a buyer’s market and it was in a lousy location, old, etc. But within one week of their burying S.t Joseph, the house was bid on for the actual asking price. They closed a month later. So I will say a prayer for your husband and his patience with you and I will ask God to give you peace of mind.

Oh! I can relate so much! We’re expecting #5 and we so quickly outgrew our home that we bought only 6 years ago. I know it’s such a great time to buy and the interest rates are so great. I look at the houses for sale in the neighborhoods we’d like, and it is obsessive! But…it’s totally not realistic for us right now with a baby due in 2 months! My husband wants to wait until next January…which is perfectly logical. But, I find that I can’t just let it go. I stay at home most of the day with the kids (they’re all 5 and under) and sometimes I feel so squished and longing for some place else to go besides the living room (not that I wouldn’t feel this in a bigger house too, I realize!). One thing that really helped was a quote I read in a Catholic publication recently…it said, “everyone knows the price, but very few people recognize the WORTH.” I know that this small home filled with my beautiful babies is absolutely PRICELESS…I just need to remind myself of this when I start feeling trapped! Best of luck!

My parents always insisted that we had to follow their house rules (which, obviously, are somewhat different for a young adult than, say, a 10 y-o sibling) in order to live at home on breaks or after college or whatever.  But it was in the context of kind of taking that for granted rather than as a threat of “follow the rules or you’re outta here” - which latter approach it sounds like you aren’t wanting to take anyway. 
I’m guessing my parents would have described me as volatile as well.  Getting some distance and perspective by going away to college helped (though I usually had at least one meltdown when I came home on breaks what with the sleep deprivation from finals and the general change of leaving my college world and coming home to my “high school” world), but the real handle on my moodiness came from finally overcoming (with counseling, but w/o meds) my eating disorder and then, when I got married and learned NFP, getting some hormone therapy through PPVI Institute.  That hormone workup is generally the first thing I recommend to my female ToB students or anyone else grappling with major mood swings, just b/c that helped me so much.  I finally both understood where that was coming from (and could then deal with it better, knowing the real source) and also could get treatment (all-natural, Dr. Hilgers doesn’t use much in the way of artificial hormones, so maybe, if that imbalance is part of the problem, she’d be more open to that than other meds) and it made a huge difference.  Good luck!  My oldest is only 5, but I can see a lot of my earlier emotional up-and-down in her already and it makes me nervous that I’ll have a mini-me on my hands in her teen years… so you have my sympathy, though it’s only from a formerly-volatile-teen-now-on-good-terms-with-family person rather than a successfully-parented-through-that-stage person!

Aerie
Kohls
sometimes JCPenny
Victoria (I know—hate the ads. But we only go there for the prom/strapless)
My girls have no back or shoulders but do need a cup. Athletic girls can use sports bras but my girls hated those. When you find one- buy two!

I actually found great ones at Target.  They have a modest cup and it comes in underwire and soft fit.